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Instagram

116 replies

Missmos89 · 28/08/2026 12:16

On Instagram if you type random letters into search such as “a” “b” can pages your friends follow come up that you have never clicked on?

I looked at my husbands and went mental as I seen three girls and he swears to me he’s never looked at their profile. Two I know for a fact his friends follow. They aren’t nude or anything, just influencer and other two are normal. I’ve got serious low self esteem and constantly seek reassurance from my husband of 10 years but he’s very depressed over my behaviour and was even crying saying it’s so sad I don’t trust him.

OP posts:
Missmos89 · 03/09/2026 18:30

I told him to put his Instagram back on not to check it but just to have it back as he enjoyed watching his reels etc not to be bad and keep checking this has been taken out of context/ not explained properly from me

OP posts:
PumpkinPieAlibi · 03/09/2026 18:35

I don't often say this but I feel genuinely sorry for this poor guy.

This is properly abusive.

Missmos89 · 03/09/2026 19:27

Sameshitdifferentdaymonthyear · 03/09/2026 14:14

So the poor sod has deleted Instagram because you won’t stop going on at him and accusing him and now he’s wrong again because you want him to download it again so you can replay the game?

Why are you even looking at his phone or Instagram? He is allowed total privacy and should be able to set up a phone password and keep every bit of his scrolling to himself. Just the same as conversations he has when he’s away from you, what he watches or reads when he’s away from you, who he looks at in the street or at work when he’s away from you. None of this is your business.

We can marry someone and expect fidelity and honesty but we don’t own that person and have NO RIGHT to interrogate them or check their phones.

Do you ever consider that your relationship would be so much better for both of you if you gave him some freedom? Don’t you think he would appreciate that and you’d see a stronger relationship and probably more affection? Maybe try it, even if it hurts you to do this at first and makes you want to go off on one. Don’t allow it. Do something for yourself when that happens, go out for a walk and let those feelings disappear. Remind yourself that he is a good man and he loves you (he must do or he wouldn’t still be with you). If he’s struggling with his mental health, he’s not going to give you all the affection and be thinking about you but you’re causing some of those mental health issues. Allow yourself to change and you will both be happier.

If it was me, I’d have him set a passcode on his phone and promise that you will not check his phone again and won’t ask about his viewing habits. It takes time for things to change and for a while, your body is going to want to know what’s happening but take yourself off and distract it. Do not break that promise. Let him have freedom and show him some love and affection. I’m sure you will receive a lot in return and you’ll see him becoming well again and feeling better.

And whatever has been said on here about searching for people on Instagram, please forget all that. Don’t go and dump all this on him when he’s home. It does not matter. It doesn’t make him a cheat or a bad man. He has stuck by you and loved you, he’s apologised when he didn’t need to (repeatedly by the sounds of it). Allow yourself to draw a line under it this afternoon and surprise him with a new wife. Both start again and lead the life you both deserve.

Post with updates but let them be positive now. People can help and support you.

Thank you for giving me good advice. I agree with everything, although the reason I checked was my husband was glued to his phone on an evening and weekends distracted by scrolling so I thought there was something more interesting on his phone than me.he has to have freedom I don’t own him but at same time I want to know my husband is ogling other women online or looking at suggestive accounts etc that’s why I checked. I have personal experience in my family with someone being blindsided by their wife and it’s given me ptsd if I’m honest. I have a serious fear of him leaving me. I know my behaviour is wrong.

I also never feel worthy and as I said I’m so insecure yet have been told by many I am very attractive. I struggle and I admit it. I really appreciate your post honestly. I’m trying very hard.

i don’t like the unknown. I’ve heard so many stories of men looking at porn etc and I’d leave my husband if he done that or was looking at suggestive accounts or constantly checking women out.

OP posts:
AmberPeaches · 03/09/2026 20:46

Missmos89 · 03/09/2026 19:27

Thank you for giving me good advice. I agree with everything, although the reason I checked was my husband was glued to his phone on an evening and weekends distracted by scrolling so I thought there was something more interesting on his phone than me.he has to have freedom I don’t own him but at same time I want to know my husband is ogling other women online or looking at suggestive accounts etc that’s why I checked. I have personal experience in my family with someone being blindsided by their wife and it’s given me ptsd if I’m honest. I have a serious fear of him leaving me. I know my behaviour is wrong.

I also never feel worthy and as I said I’m so insecure yet have been told by many I am very attractive. I struggle and I admit it. I really appreciate your post honestly. I’m trying very hard.

i don’t like the unknown. I’ve heard so many stories of men looking at porn etc and I’d leave my husband if he done that or was looking at suggestive accounts or constantly checking women out.

How dare you use the phrase PTSD in this context?! How ignorant to flippantly throw that phrase around, when you are just insecure and paranoid that your husband may be “ogling” women online.

That is NOT PTSD. You sound insufferable.

pearlsclutchedhard · 03/09/2026 20:49

It will show up people who your friends or mutual connections also follow! I just typed in ‘P’ and I got all kinds of performance cars come up.. which I have never looked at but it shows mutual connections to the page.

Missmos89 · 03/09/2026 21:01

AmberPeaches · 03/09/2026 20:46

How dare you use the phrase PTSD in this context?! How ignorant to flippantly throw that phrase around, when you are just insecure and paranoid that your husband may be “ogling” women online.

That is NOT PTSD. You sound insufferable.

You have absolutely no clue what I’m talking about it’s a deeply personal issue that happened with my parents. You have NO idea, it’s not flippant I genuinely have ptsd from what happened years ago so don’t you dare say it’s flippant

OP posts:
Missmos89 · 03/09/2026 21:02

Thank you x

OP posts:
Sameshitdifferentdaymonthyear · 03/09/2026 22:55

Missmos89 · 03/09/2026 19:27

Thank you for giving me good advice. I agree with everything, although the reason I checked was my husband was glued to his phone on an evening and weekends distracted by scrolling so I thought there was something more interesting on his phone than me.he has to have freedom I don’t own him but at same time I want to know my husband is ogling other women online or looking at suggestive accounts etc that’s why I checked. I have personal experience in my family with someone being blindsided by their wife and it’s given me ptsd if I’m honest. I have a serious fear of him leaving me. I know my behaviour is wrong.

I also never feel worthy and as I said I’m so insecure yet have been told by many I am very attractive. I struggle and I admit it. I really appreciate your post honestly. I’m trying very hard.

i don’t like the unknown. I’ve heard so many stories of men looking at porn etc and I’d leave my husband if he done that or was looking at suggestive accounts or constantly checking women out.

I really do hope you take on board what I’ve said because your life really could change today. It starts by not making excuses though. If you felt neglected at times and that his head was in his phone, you could have discussed this with him and asked him to change. He sounds like a reasonable, decent person. You didn’t need to snoop and to check if he was looking at women. That is an excuse to behave in the way you have but that is wrong and is such an invasion of his privacy.

You clearly want to be close to him but you are actively pushing him away. He won’t look at you like you want when you treat him like this. He will grow to resent you and won’t see his beautiful wife or want to be nice because you’re not being nice to him.

Unless he is doing something illegal (and nothing you’ve said would suggest that), you need to allow him to block access to his phone and respect his privacy. You need to trust that he’s a decent human being and a good husband that wouldn’t hurt you (as you’ve already said he is). If he happens to look at a woman, even through choice, it’s no difference to the many women he will see in real life on the street or at work. He can admire them without ever wanting to bed them or to leave you. Most men genuinely value a good partner and a nice home life. If you stop this behaviour and treat him better, there is no reason for him to jeopardise that. You may not look at men but many women do and also manage to do that without leaving their spouse and cheating. It’s a fleeting thing that is done before it starts. Heck, I’m straight but I even look at women sometimes and it means nothing. Don’t spoil a good thing for all this.

Missmos89 · 04/09/2026 09:39

Sameshitdifferentdaymonthyear · 03/09/2026 22:55

I really do hope you take on board what I’ve said because your life really could change today. It starts by not making excuses though. If you felt neglected at times and that his head was in his phone, you could have discussed this with him and asked him to change. He sounds like a reasonable, decent person. You didn’t need to snoop and to check if he was looking at women. That is an excuse to behave in the way you have but that is wrong and is such an invasion of his privacy.

You clearly want to be close to him but you are actively pushing him away. He won’t look at you like you want when you treat him like this. He will grow to resent you and won’t see his beautiful wife or want to be nice because you’re not being nice to him.

Unless he is doing something illegal (and nothing you’ve said would suggest that), you need to allow him to block access to his phone and respect his privacy. You need to trust that he’s a decent human being and a good husband that wouldn’t hurt you (as you’ve already said he is). If he happens to look at a woman, even through choice, it’s no difference to the many women he will see in real life on the street or at work. He can admire them without ever wanting to bed them or to leave you. Most men genuinely value a good partner and a nice home life. If you stop this behaviour and treat him better, there is no reason for him to jeopardise that. You may not look at men but many women do and also manage to do that without leaving their spouse and cheating. It’s a fleeting thing that is done before it starts. Heck, I’m straight but I even look at women sometimes and it means nothing. Don’t spoil a good thing for all this.

I did address this many times with him and nothing changed. We have a very healthy sex life and it’s actually only getting better despite all of this.

im taking onboard what you have said and he said he doesn’t want to change his password I can look at his phone whenever but to stop this non sense. Im going to if I ever see his phone lying I’ll remove myself from the situation and make sure I do not look.

i say I’ve been insecure for 18 years but I’ve never been to this extreme. If maybe say something then that would be it over. So I’ve not been like this for allllll those years. I told my husband I was like that due to his lack of compliments etc etc and he said it’s because of his upbringing but he will try harder. It’s not the case that I’ve always been like this and he’s not wanting to compliment me etc not at all.

OP posts:
Pinkgin00 · 04/09/2026 13:50

Honestly at this point, I wouldn't blame the guy if his attention is starting to turn to other women. I know you won't want to hear that, but it is true. Your jealous behaviour is insufferable, and a relationship cannot be sustained like this. You will be, if you already haven't , pushing him away. I had an ex like this, and i ended it because he was just like you, I was made to feel bad about things when I had done nothing wrong.

Missmos89 · 05/09/2026 09:21

Pinkgin00 · 04/09/2026 13:50

Honestly at this point, I wouldn't blame the guy if his attention is starting to turn to other women. I know you won't want to hear that, but it is true. Your jealous behaviour is insufferable, and a relationship cannot be sustained like this. You will be, if you already haven't , pushing him away. I had an ex like this, and i ended it because he was just like you, I was made to feel bad about things when I had done nothing wrong.

So sorry about your ex that’s horrible. I certainly don’t want to be like that. Was it similar accusations ?

OP posts:
Missmos89 · 07/09/2026 17:04

Are other peoples for you pages filled with a specific topic such as fashion or cars or something they never look at ? Explore page

OP posts:
PumpkinPieAlibi · 07/09/2026 17:18

OMG, stop!

Have you made him re-download the app only to scour his profile again? This is abusive.

unabashedopossum · 07/09/2026 18:14

You really need to stop this.

Missmos89 · 07/09/2026 18:18

PumpkinPieAlibi · 07/09/2026 17:18

OMG, stop!

Have you made him re-download the app only to scour his profile again? This is abusive.

No and I didn’t make him do anything he deleted it and I told him not to. I’ve done as OP said and he has a passcode on I don’t know.

I just didn’t get an answer to the for you page and I’m wondering g

OP posts:
countrylifeorcitylife · 07/09/2026 19:03

You sound unhinged

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