fuck me, you’re a better woman than I @Mensuckbigtime
meeting her TWICE, fuck no.
its ok to gently show your kids that the behaviour of others is unacceptable to you and that you aren’t friends with ex or his partner BECAUSE of how you were treated.
how else can we teach our children that they don’t have to suck up poor behaviour from others.
you’ve done nothing wrong here. They are old enough to be given age appropriate truth.
that age appropriate truth will save you in the long run. My ex left when DS 5 yo, ex was abusive. DS asked me if daddy was coming back, and I said no. He asked me if it was because daddy shouted at mummy too much. I told him yes. I’ve had conversations with him over the years where I’ve answered his questions wherever possible in full, but in a manner appropriate to his age. he’s nearly 21 now.
build the rapport and trust now, it will serve you well.
it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to show emotion, but as you’ve said, it’s not them that upset you. They know this.
make him have the kids for the days before and after, take yourself away and give him no options. Self care.
Oh yes, that reminds me, remember that sometimes you come first. This is key, you can tell your kids that you’re going away for distraction purposes and that you need some time to be by yourself while they’re with their dad at the wedding.
remember that unless you put yourself at the top of your list of priorities sometimes, nobody will ever prioritise you when you need it. Show your DDs that sometimes mums need to look after themselves too. It will show them that they can do the same when they are mothers themselves.