The Dating Thread 61 - High Summer High Jinks 🍾🥂

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

I just got home about an hour ago from an in person dating activity - paddle boarding...
There were 11 of us, varying ages, 4 women & 7 men. It was really good & I'd definitely be up for doing it again. Was a lovely group of people who all just chatted & laughed the whole time. I think most were younger than my friend and I but a good activity to do in a group & get to know people.

Still no word from ex since Sat afternoon (I'll call him Mr Smile for ease)...
Mr Sport also gone quiet...

@VaxMerstappen I'd be put off if a man was living with parents & had never left home. I say this as someone who has been living with a parent for the last couple of years (not by choice though, because my DC's abusive dad is refusing to buy me out or sell our house) I'm looking for someone independent.

I'll read your book too @LenaFromTheNineties lol

I have a soft spot for men that can cleverly laugh at themselves @Nosdacariad 😊

I'd also be put off by a man living at home, primarily because I wouldn't want to have to do all the hosting if things went well 😆

The maturity gap seems real. Some of these men really seem to not be able to take care of themselves never mind anyone else!

Mr Martial Arts was a let down after such great chat. And I had to try really hard not to burst out laughing after todays chat about teeth - he was missing a few and the rest were 🤢. Hadn't twigged he wasn't smiling with teeth in any of his photos 🤣. His photos were also obviously old, which didn't bother me too much. But he just talked nonsense the whole time and red flags all over. Bless him though he'd clearly done a bit of homework to chat to me. I have an interest in space and a related degree and he was trying to chat to me about it but got it so so wrong 🤦‍♀️

Oh no, that IS deja vu from Mr Beered! And he's only just revealed that piece of info? Hmmm..

Yeah, teeth are important. I don't mind crooked or chipped - that can add character - but they need to be clean, and all there!

let me guess - he was a big Elon fan?!

It was worse, he'd tried to get to grips with some of the trickier bits of science around exoplanet research. I have no issue with his lack of understanding, it was just an interesting choice on his part to try and get to grips with it as a conversation topic for a first date?! It would have been endearing if the rest of the date wasn't so bad 🤣

2 dates (but a lot of chat). For the l bomb. Messaged a lot. Used to call in the evenings. Then mornings aswell. It was just escalating. Felt like he put me on a pedestal and it was surprisingly uncomfortable. When I was fed up with it I cancelled a date but he turned up to my house with flowers. I sound horrid but I was not impressed. it was like dating me with limerence! Which I have had bad with Mr Situationship. Quite eye opening to be on the receiving end.
I’m still speaking a bit to him. He had an important event and I wanted to support him. Still care about him. He’s a nice guy. Meeting Mr Spanner today for a weekend festival 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

I was passing through Germany and had a Bumble peek. The quality was much higher!! If I get really stuck in the future I’ll go back!

Oh wow that is fast! I wouldn't like that either

Although I do calls I am not a fan of frequent and/or long voice or video calls. Time sinks. Also with anything text I can look back if necessary.

Are there any dating apps without having to match first and without the silly algorithms. I’m getting really pissed off with hinge

@duckingclueless that actually sounds quite scary after 2 bloody dates !

You are quite right about the quality - maybe I should come back here later in the summer without my daughter!

I have matched with one who seems nice so far - I just want to find out a bit about what dating is like over here really, but I don't want to lead him on under false pretences. But I guess flights over here are pretty cheap - it wouldn't be totally impossible to come back for a date, if we really hit it off?

Very full on. Not surprised you got unnerved.

Even if he felt it, surely his good judgement would have told him it was too soon to say it?

This sounds brilliant - how did you find out about the event? I would love to do something like this.

I remember you telling us he lived with a lodger - was he deliberately concealing said lodger's gender? If so, that's dodgy as fuck, in my opinion...... If it's all open and above boards, why be secretive about it?

@Sunshineontheway check the teef 😅

He told me on our date after I explored the existence of any exes over the road. Not going there again.

Hello all,

I just wanted to drop in to say that after what must be well over 80 first dates over 5 years (I counted) and some fairly tricky situationships, and being basically ready to give up.. Mr Physics asked me to be his girlfriend last night.

Everything with him feels right and easy. I feel a peace and contentment in his presence I have not felt before. I can be unapologetically myself. Neither of us are perfect, but right now this feels like a man I could have a future with.

I just wanted to let you all know as encouragement for those going through the mill at the moment.

Mr HH is freaking terrifying!

You owe him nothing 😱

No Mr Beered told me on Sat. When I checked for a harem.

I realise on reflection that the harem is a standard practice of the narcissist. Over used word, but fits.

Is it bad that as Mr Beered is better and younger looking and taller than Planescrash that I'd like to parade him around Planescrash's local just to annoy him.

😳 I know that shows me in a bad light 😱

@TheThingOnTheIce Hinge annoys me too. It drip feeds profiles.

@BellaBlackberry83 fabulous news, thanks for the update 😁

May MrP eternally know what he has and never take you for granted 🍾🥂💐

@Nosdacariad yes drip feed is the right word . I’m just seeing the same faces over and over again who I’ve already said no to and then get the occasional small flurry of new faces. I also don’t believe its showing me to many people . I’m no oil painting but on other apps I’ve had to sift through hundreds of likes but on Hinge I’m probably get 1 or 2 a week! If that!

Are you paying for it?

I'm sure you are gorgeous 😍

It is very very annoying x

No I don’t pay . However 3 years ago I got desperate enough to pay for a Boost or whatever it’s called and don’t recall it making much of a difference . I met Mr Pervert just before I’d decided to delete it at that time .

Aww this is so lovely!

I don't pay either. I also don't feel like it adds value.