Is my partner gay

[anon990]

I met a man about 3 months ago. We get on great. He’s out of a relationship 6 years now. He has been very lovey dovey from the start and has said I love you etc already. He is 32. He has a best friend who he is always talking about. They recently went on holiday and it looked like they were in the same bed I asked and he said it was two single beds they pushed together. This made me feel uncomfortable but he thought it was normal so I said nothing. I met his friend once and I said ‘nice to meet you I heard a lot about you’ his friend said ‘yeah he fancies me too hahaha’. Am I overthinking it?

This

Probably bisexual, the friend seems to want you to know that- which is potentially a problem. You need to talk to him about it, a relationship build on lies and half truths isn't worth much.

It's much more likely a case of 'the beds not pushed apart' rather than them pushing the beds together to get closer. It's a standard set-up in lots of places.

I don’t think the bed thing is anything but it sounds like you have other misgivings, eg the hand thing he does when he laughs. I think you find these things feminine and unattractive.
That’s fine btw, if you are starting to get the ick you’re better off out of it. You don’t need to confirm whether he’s gay or not. You don’t need a reason to back off.

Jesus Christ. It wouldn’t make him less of a man, did I say that? No I didn’t. I said it’s not what I want in a relationship. Big difference. I couldn’t care less about a persons sexuality. But I want to be with a straight man

I've stayed in hotels with my mother before and the two single beds have been pushed together, we didn't bother moving them apart.
Did they push them together or just they were two single beds already pushed together and they didn't seperate them?

I’m not sure if they were like that or they did it. I need to ask . I agree with above poster I could just be finding him a bit feminine. He’s so lovely though and the sexual part is all good. I could be overthinking this whole thing

You couldn't care less about someone's sexuality? The whole thread is about you caring about someone's sexuality!

Bravery is key here and you're not willing to admit that you don't want to be with a man that is potentially attracted to men as well as you.

Will you be brave enough to split up with him and tell him because you think he is bi and you don't date bi men?

Yes if he said he was bi I would absolutely say I don’t want to be with a bi man? Because I don’t?? 🤣🤣🤣 he can be bi with someone else if that was to be the case. Please get off the post you’re annoying me badly now

Oh by the way! I do NOT want to be with a bi man. Is that illegal? Does that make me a bad person? No and also no. :)

Does he have Grindr installed on his phone?

I don't think the bed thing necessarily means anything if the beds were already pushed together (as happens in some hotels). But the friend's comments are a bit weird if they're just friends. You need to ask him directly.

The issue is less whether he’s bisexual, which it looks as if he is, and more whether he is intimate with his friend.

Was his friend letting you know gently?

I think at most he is bi, but I’m not sure why you are asking us not him

Not sure. The friend was drunk when I met him and said it laughing

Is his flat very tidy? Is he fond of musical theatre?

No I haven’t heard him mention any interest in that, he likes techno rave etc. his flat is clean but not super duper clean can be messy too

Tbf I have friends who would say similar when drunk (and a few who would say that sober too).

Just talk to your bf. Ask him.

If he’s not Bi, then he’ll likely laugh at the idea and find it funny.

Perhaps he's embarrassed about his smile or teeth?

This is such a weird thing to pick up on!

It’s not weird that I notice things but thank you for your comment

It's not a red flag to say I love you after a few months! Anyway, I wouldn't have liked his friend's comment and pushing the beds together is weird. Ask him.

Sounds like he might swing both ways, i guess the only way to find out is to ask him, just work out what your stance will be if he says yes, you don’t want to be left speechless.

Sounds weird to me.

Just be an adult and ask him

I think the actual red flag is that he said he loves you after 3 months. He barely knows you.

Too many people here are making definitive calls. You don't know from what you have so far.

I think the best option is the go out with a group of friends option, see if anyone observes anything. Then ask him directly (but casually) perhaps at the end of a night when things are relaxed.