The Dating Thread 59 - meeting in midsummer with passion ablaze🔥

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

This is a really good shout, thank you! I may just do this 🙂 I’ve actually been having a heavy flirtation session with a mature medical student over the past couple of days, via the app. He’s made it clear he’s looking for a FWB but I’m thinking about how to make the move and go about this in a safe way. I’ve got one friend in particular I can let know when I’m there….the rest plus my sister would be clutching their pearls!! But I’ll see how this pans out.

Ive got a date tomorrow (tonight?) with Mr Frenchie…..not actually French! Just a dog walking date after work, so we’ll see how it goes.

No chance of any dates on Saturday night though because Scotland are playing in the World Cup. First time in about 30 years so I think the whole nation will be watching it!

Do it!!!! Holiday Horns 😁

This sounds like the perfect set up! Hopefully I can get together with Mr Medical soon and see if we can get something started.

How often do you see your FWB? x

Oh yikes. No no and no! Sounds like a future cock lodger if you ask me.

I’m in Scotland and our laws are different to England in that cohabiting couples are protected. I haven’t got close to having to think about this however it’s always at the back of my mind.

Work ethic is massively important to me, and a lack of it is just a major ick. In all honesty I think there’s so many amber flags here that it equals a red one, as a pp said ☹️

I overlooked so many amber flags with a previous ex and ended up extremely burnt and heartbroken by the end of it. Even now when I think about it I feel quite resentful.

But only you know. And when feelings are involved it’s extremely difficult

Haha - maybe the original mistype was a foreshadowing @duckingclueless?

Hope your travels are going well - did the random date happen?

Ooh this is exciting - hope they’re all nice meets and maybe one will stand out.

Enjoy! Oh and update lol!

Mr HH still might have potential, chatGPT thinks I fancy him (I argued back with CGPT. He is definitely male and gets a lot wrong. I uploaded chat and ask it what it would say to him as if he had uploaded it. It would have told him that I fancied him!) He’s much more calming than Mr S’ship. I smile every time a text pings through. Have plenty of time away to give me some space and don’t want to waste it over thinking. We are chatting nicely (supposed to be platonic but both still flirting a bit.) He’s good company.
No random didn’t happen. He was at work. Not bothered. Actually enjoying some time on my own.

Ah - time solo is so good - enjoy wherever you are.

I use Gemini - she helped me avoid my passive aggressive text style haha. I’m not sure how accurate she is always by now, as we’ve had a long thread about all different stuff - as she definitely often agrees my take, or uses it going forwards, on the other hand she does stop and tell me I’m wrong too at times. She helps decide stuff too though with thoughts I had not considered (on a range of stuff not just dating). She is built as a cheerleader - but I try to remember this and so I argue back as well or ask for other takes on something - and then consider outcome.

I have recommended AI on here a few times - not as an oracle, but definitely as a support - and I think Chat GPT is telling you straight, as I’m starting to get the thought you have a pull towards him - and he’s been so thoughtful he clearly gets you, which is a great thing.

The main one (who is also my ex) I see once or twice a month, normally for a couple of days at a time. It's very easy and comfortable, and the sex is mind-blowing but in a sort of stress-free way, if that makes sense? He has been here the last two nights, he also cooked me dinner last night as I had to work late; fixed my washing machine.....

I'd really recommend an arrangement like this to anyone who is comfortable with sex without commitment (I know it's not for everyone). I feel like it plugs a few gaps for the time being, and is good for my mental health. And stops me rushing into an unsuitable relationship out of desperation/loneliness. I'd still like to meet my person of course, but if I have to wait months/years, so be it.

The other one I stopped seeing after my dad passed away, for some reason the only man I could tolerate being around for a while was my ex...... but we kept in touch and he is coming over in the summer. He is usually more like every month/two months, due to living further away.....

Wow, this is brilliant! Sounds like a great approach - keep them all light and easy to start with, maximise your chances.....

My "spring clean" of my chats seems to have helped (rememberKondo? I got rid of everyone who didn't bring me a "spark of joy"). I am no longer wasting time on chats that I know aren't ever going to go anywhere, so I feel more positive when I log on to the apps. I have a couple of dates lined up:

Mr Youthful - I took heed of our discussion on here about younger men and this got, why not? I don't think it will be a long term thing, but he seems lovely......

Mr Teacher - he is the one with very limited availability. Other than that seems great.

We will see though. They could both have ghosted by tonight.....

Have a great day everyone!

I couldn't do this, my dogs are too naughty!

I’m interested in this approach - I assume you’re quite explicit in telling them they only have a one hour window? It makes absolute sense to do it this way. I usually have to travel to dates as I live in a village, sometimes quite far, so it would certainly cut down on my travelling time!

ChatGPT is amazing
if I ever get into another relationship ill be starting a file on it from the start
if I’d thought to use it in the last one I don’t think it would have lasted 2 months never mind over 2 years

Reminds me of a date I went on when I was looking after a friend’s dog. We went for a walk but also had a drink in a pub garden. I popped to the loo and when I returned there was a bit of the commotion as the dog had been howling her head off the whole time I’d been away! I did feel sorry for the guy who was unsuccessfully trying to placate this dog he’d only met half an hour before. I hadn’t realised she was that attached to me!

Yes I am increasingly thinking he has a crush.

More messaging from him today. Some gentle ribbing / making fun of me. And also a joke about what might be on my OLD profile. We are going to a work event together next week (with another colleague) but it finishes in the city in the evening…

I am being friendly but still quite wary.

And in other news, I have a date tomorrow night with situationship Mr Charismatic 😁

Oh bless her!!

Hope it goes well with MrC

Just home from date 4 with Mr Mullet - stayed at his and had to do the walk of shame 🫣🤣

Had dinner then went to a comedy show that was so awful we left half way through.

Mentioned something about Hinge a couple of times so I know he's still active. If this weekend away happens I may have to have an uncomfortable chat for my own sanity! Lovely night though, I do like him.

I haven’t heard of Gemini but I’ve used ChatGPT and have moulded it into my “style”. Had to tell it to stop being so flowery, then basically to cut the BS and just be direct with me 😂 think I’ve (or it) has mastered it now! I agree it can be really useful especially in making you stop to think before being impulsive, regardless of the advice but sometimes good to step away and take a minute.

I’m loving the part about him fixing your washing machine, this sounds like a heavenly arrangement!

Im so sorry to hear about your dad, I’ve been through it albeit 7 years ago, but totally understand what you say about not wanting to be around men afterwards

Hahaha, actually now you mention it, my male labradoodle (who is neutered) seems to like humping 😂 Could get a bit awkward watching him trying to do the conga with his little frenchie 🙈 a bit like when a sex scene came on tv when watching something as a teen with your parents 😂😂

He DEFINITELY has a crush and a massive one at that! The gentle ribbing is classic 😍 and the work event sounds exciting!

morning, everyone!

hope you don't mind me posting on yr thread. I'm tentatively back OLD after a couple of years. Someone on Hinge messaged me yesterday. He has an interesting profile and its quite detailed. He also put a lot of detail into my prompt that he replied to.

I replied this morning before work. now he has messaged to ask if im free for a walk or a drink this weekend. is this too soon? is it a red flag? am I overthinking this? any advice welcome!

this sounds like a great approach. do you mind if I ask how you stop yourself becoming attached?