Pinkpoet support thread (TW for SA)

[PinkPoetAgain1]

Just starting a new thread for those who are following/supporting

I’m all over the place mentally at the moment as I said in my last thread but I’m still listening xx

There was a poster recently, wasn't there, who had more than one thread going, heartbreaking story, and a lot of people became so emotionally invested that when the person started asking privately for financial support, some posters were so intent on wanting to help that they did give money.

I can just see how the conversation would go
‘I don’t like it when you do xyz because it reminds me of …..’
’I didn’t hear you complaining about it last night’

OP when someone starts a sentence with 'I don't like it....'

The only acceptable response is 'I won't do it '

You have already suggested that there is no point in you telling him you don't like it because he will ignore you, argue against you, and continue doing it anyway.

Surely this tells you that this is not a happy relationship.

When are you going to understand that he just doesn't care what you want, like or don't like.

This. ^

Loving someone is supposed to involve caring about how they feel.

He just tries to convince you out of your feelings

@PinkPoetAgain1, can I try an analogy? It might make it clearer for you, but I apologise if not. I don't want to appear flippant, I just thought it might help.

Let's say he had stabbed you in the arm, and you had gone to a Doctor to get the wound treated, and then had a weekly appointment to dress the wound and check the stitches.

The Doctor would expect the wound to heal fully within a couple of months, for example.

However, if your husband kept stabbing you, sometimes reopening the whole wound, other times cutting a couple of stitches, or grabbing the wound to make it bleed, then the treatment would have to begin again (and again, and again) and the Doctor would be less likely to expect the wound to heal fully within a couple of months.

If your husband was to leave the wound alone, and you were to continue your weekly appointments with the Doctor, then the wound would likely clear up altogether. You may be left with a scar, but you would recover.

Oh no, I am not implying that the OP is not genuine at all, we know as feminists that this sort of stuff happens day in day out. And OP has every right to use a women's platform to get support. Its just the level of intensity some are responding with, there are not necessarily quick happy resolutions with this kind of offence and in the meantime some explicit and shocking stuff posted.

Good luck for therapy today Poet, you know the support is here, no one is expecting a quick resolution to this. It’s a long road.
You’ve already come so far, I hope you have a nice weekend with your parents x

Here for you poet x

I hope therapy was productive today Poet and that you’re feeling ok x

Thinking of you as always, @PinkPoetAgain1 Really hope therapy was productive for you and that you enjoy your time away at your parents' with your LO's. Wishing you peaceful, uninterrupted sleep 💐

Hope your therapy was helpful for you today, Poet. And now hope you enjoy your weekend away with your parents. Please make sure you have plenty of sleep. ❤️

What exactly makes you feel pathetic about therapy? The needing/feeling like you no longer need it?

Maybe you did that already but why not state your expectations of counselling and ask the therapist to establish some therapeutic goals together?

You could ask her what kind of goals would qualify as "therapeutic" ie things she can help you with.

If you envision something along the lines of, "I want you to help me recover from my trauma so that I can move on with my life in this relationship because I feel it's worth it at the end of the day"/"I want you to help me to take control of the situation and be more assertive (in bed)", then say so.

It is totally fair to ask her to support your post-traumatic growth the way you want it. She might challenge you on that right then and there but that's the point.

Did you actually make it to your parents Poet?

I thought Pink’s last post sounded quite final. Unless something big happens I’m not sure she intends to come back now.

I hope she is okay. We all have our own lives we get back to, our own struggles, but what Poet goes through has opened up my eyes. I hope she has gone to her parents but I have a feeling the husband has persuaded her not to.
It must be so, so hard for her.

OP has previously said it would not be possible for her to go to her parents.

"If I asked to go to my mums that would raise alarm bells because why would I need to go stay with her when she lives quite close"

She said this week that she was going to her parents this weekend.

I’m imagining if she was there she may have updated here as she’d have more freedom?

I don’t think Poet went to her parents. I don’t think she ever was to be honest.

Her last post is true to be fair, what more is there to say? It’s all been said repeatedly and it’s up to her now.

This would be a good place to post if she ever decides to leave as she knows she would get support through the doubts etc, but she’s decided to stay so what’s the point in keep posting? There’s nothing new to say. I get it, I wish her well.

OP does not have to update the thread, it is just here for her to post her thoughts/feelings whenever she wants to. No one is owed an update.

OP has a life, she is busy and if she has gone to her parents perhaps she is just taking the time to relax and recharge without going over it all again. She's having a break.

Yeah absolutely, but I don’t think anyone was saying any different?

This is the last time pink poet posted three days ago, when she thought someone had accused her of not being genuine, and that she thinks she's 'gone on long enough'.

@PinkPoetAgain1 I really hope you are having a lovely time at your parents and that you feel safe. If you do feel like you need some more support, please reach out to us. We are here to listen and we care. You're never a bother to us 💐

ETA: you do not need to update us if you'd prefer not to, just know that if you should ever need us, we're still here.

Just thinking about you Pink, and popping by to say hi x

I read this piece before (sort it’s a paywall) the lady concerned has also been in the news.
Also met her husband very young. He’s now in prison. I think seeing a woman speak in person and describing what had happened was terrifying.
I kept thinking of Poet and the reality of her life.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/health-fitness/wellbeing/mental-health/my-husband-was-sexually-assaulting-me-in-my-sleep/

Wow, the parallels are very striking. Such a brave lady speaking out; hopefully this will help many other women in similar situations to Poet. Sadly, I suspect this kind of thing may be more common than any of us would like to believe.