Pinkpoet support thread (TW for SA)

[PinkPoetAgain1]

Just starting a new thread for those who are following/supporting

I’m all over the place mentally at the moment as I said in my last thread but I’m still listening xx

Good luck today Poet.

You are doing the right thing, the ONLY thing that will keep you and your DC safe.

Deep breaths if you start to feel panicky.

Focus on finding and packing the important documents, essential clothing, and your DCs precious blankies/stuffies.

By 5pm tonight you and your DC will be safe at your parents' house, and you can relax.

💐💐💐

Poet, I suspect your mum knows something is very amiss, but is waiting for you to bring it up as she doesn't want to alienate you. You don't have to tell her everything but I think the crib sheet above is very good.

This is really important. @PinkPoetAgain1

I would also consider:

• What you want your parents to say to the children (so that you and they are signing from the same hymn sheet)

• What the adults should do if your husband shows up at their house (if you disclose to the police that you have fled an abusive relationship they ought to be able to put a "mark" on your parents' address so that a 999 call made from that location would cause immediate deployment of a police unit - my colleague's parents had this on their house after she left him)

• How they can help you (they'll want to help and giving them specific tasks will reduce them faffing about doing things that aren't actually helpful for you)

This is a great first step Poet. I agree with Salty that it might be helpful to think about what you will do if he turns up. I imagine he will do so but I don't think he will scream or shout. Given his profile, he is more likely to do faux concern to your parents 'She isn't right mentally, she's been drinking a lot and she's not being herself. I need to get her home so we can get her some help' etc. He will not want to reveal his true self in front of your parents as he has built up this fabrication in front of them. I agree with other posts that they probably suspect more than you think. I think despite how charming you feel he is, they have kept you close by not challenging anything, perhaps fearing that if they did they would lose all of you as you would have to cut them off to mitigate the harm from your husband.

You will always be your mum's little girl OP.

Think of your own daughter and what you would want for her. That's what your mum wants for you.

I hope you are safe now Poet, and that you have been able to at least say to your mum what is so perfectly put in that crib sheet. We are all thinking about you

I have been thinking about you all afternoon, I do so hope you were brave enough and are at your parents home now.

Fingers crossed you're safety at your mums. If, for whatever reason you're not, tomorrow is a brand new day.

Hope you are safe at your mum’s. You are strong- you can do this.

We’re all still behind you 100% poet. You can do it. Don’t look back now xxx

Are you ok OP? Even if you didnt make it to your mums today, are you ok wherever you are?

Hope you managed to get to your parents’ house with your DC, Poet. Or if not that you’re ok wherever you are. We’re all rooting for you. ❤️

We’ve gone to my mums . Thank you everyone . I’ve said things arnt right and I’m trying my best to share more . I’ve told her I don’t want to speak to him at the moment. I’ve told him we are taking some space and turned my phone off. Going to have a rest tonight ! X

Be strong Poet, I hope you get a good nights sleep.
As hard as it is you need to share this with your mum, lots of love and strength to you x

Well done. I hope you sleep well.

If you are unable to find words, maybe she could read this thread ?

Please ask your father not to let him in if he turns up on your parents' doorstep.

I’m glad you’re ok Pink Poet, and I hope you have a good sleep tonight, you must feel drained after the past few days. Hope you can open up a little bit with them tomorrow.

Well done Pink, that must have been really hard. You’re showing amazing strength

I’m very proud of you. I hope tomorrow you can open up a bit to your parents. Control your own narrative. The last thing you want is your parents trying to get you to reconcile because your husband has fed they a pile of rubbish! Is there a simple note we can draft for you if you tell us what to include. I’m so glad you will sleep safely tonight xx

It might be an idea to write something to give to your mum to read to start with, rather than say it if it's easier for you.

So glad you and your DC are safe, Poet.

Sleep well tonight.

Poet I hope it's a restful night. Be prepared for an escalation, he is likely to act out as soon as he knows you are gone. If your parents are able to hold the line for you that will really help. Do try to reach out to Women's Aid tomorrow for more advice. Did he respond or did you turn off your phone before he could? If he starts sending threats or abuse remember not to delete the messages, it could be valuable later.

Wow, dear Poet, I am literally in awe of you! You have taken such a massive step - I'm so proud of you! There's no going back now. You can do this, for you and your babies 💖