Being with this man was akin to drinking from a poisoned chalice. You are still thirsty and it will be a prolonged agony of torment the longer you two are in contact 💯
You know what you need to do.
You don't feel ready to make that break yet, and I can understand that.
It's the 'what if?' Epiphany moment happens and he really does love me and will live up to the potentially great guy I knew he can be and change for me.
But this alas will never happen. 😔
You know this deep down, but don't want to let go.
Letting go means admitting that he doesn't care enough or love anyone enough to change.
And he never will.
That is no reflection on you.
He will do this to his next victim.
He will spin his web of deceit.
He loves himself more than anyone else.
you cannot cure a selfish man, same way you cannot cure a lazy man.
He is both.
It's not that you are unlovable @PithyBeaker
On the contrary, you are a wonderful strong astute, female, who now has her own moniker on here of 'what would pithy do?' 🏅
You have been legendary.
But now the chapter needs to finish and the book needs to end, but you cannot finish this story whilst your heart is wrestling with your head.
Your comment of:
if only I tried a bit more, explained a bit more, then maybe he will eventually accept living separately without insisting he needs more etc.
This 👆 is self-flagellation. You are self whipping.
You know deep down this is who he will ever be.
We cannot make this man grown up. He is who he is.
The frog and the scorpion fable again springs to mind.
He will just continue to sting you.
Put down the whip.
Put down the phone to him.
Go cold turkey from the drug that is Mr devil dick. 😈
Your mental health and (eventually) your heart will thank you for it.
Edited to add: I hope you and your son have a wonderful holiday xx