H ‘gone fishing’

[Muggymcmug]

H disappeared first thing this morning muttering something about going fishing. By the afternoon I tried to call then sent a message to remind him of something we had on in a couple of hours. Eventually responded to say that he was going to be night fishing & would be back in the morning. In this weather.

On a scale of 1-absolute bullshit, he’s a massive liar isn’t he?! There has been infidelity which he would swear is over.

Turn up at his fishing spots with a hot flask. Poor guy will be in need of a hot drink after all, out fishing without appropriate clothes or footwear

Son did a 2 night fishing trip last week with his mates so it could be feasible but as your DH is being vague and did not take wellies I would be doubting it.

Tell him to share his location or send you a photo

Sounds like it’s time to part company.

You will find a way. Lots of smart women around here who have done the same and can advise.

Hope you managed to get hold of him, OP

In this weather has he taken a bivvy, a folding bed (not a chair), plus all his equipment? Check the freezer - has he taken his boilies? Hookbait? If not, bullshit, no other fisherman would carry all that sort of thing for him, if he would say 'somebody else brought it for me'.

Did he take a warm coat, gloves etc?

Perhaps he has got himself a part time job on a trawler.

Don’t let him gaslight you ok?

Your heart knows. Your stomach knows. As women we have been conditioned to believe we need ‘proof’. You don’t. The feeling in the pit of your stomach is enough for you to know the relationship isn’t right.

My ex after staying out for whole nights with various excuses would be utterly furious with me even SUGGESTING he could be cheating. Even when confronted with cold hard evidence of texts and receipts it was ‘only once and they never slept together’. Gave me an STI and still ‘must have been from somewhere else’.

These men will never ever give the truth so stop seeking it. Listen to your instincts. If you must continue to live together for a time until things sorted just freeze him out. Don’t text or call if he’s out. Don’t enquire or show interest. Don’t include him in meals for the family, don’t do his laundry. Childcare done by you and you alone, if you need a break on the weekend organise friends / family to help. Basically just act like a single mum to start getting used to it.

I’m sorry this has happened to you x

Fave post of the thread! I love learning new things

Why do they go to such lengths? Why not just do the honourable thing and leave so you can make informed choices about your life?

The arrogance is astounding.

My ex was practically any time he left the house!

Work/football/various friends. Looking back, I doubt i ever really knew where he was.

Pure selfishness, lack of respect, love, general care.

Ability to compartmentalise.

Devoid of integrity.

OP, I really hope you can summon up the strength to leave. This is no way to live.

Tell him you'd like to join him for an hour, you're in the car, where is he? Dont message, ring him.

He's turned his 'phone off.

I’d be doing some fishing yourself- for legal advice and financial documents.

If I'm ever in this situation I've decided on the following

1. Cheater can leave
2. Declaration that the relationship is over and the kids will be told. If it isn't practical for anyone to move out immediately, then separate rooms and lives until it is practical to do so.

Phew !

I was worried I would be accused of mansplaining. :-)

But yeah, I fish, so just some info.

In fact, as I and others have said here, we fishers tend not to be able to shut up about fishing, if it is brought up.

I forgot to mention sea fishing. The onset of winter will see many shore fishers head out. Traditionally it's cod season. They do overnights too, but not night and full say sessions as the OP describes, because of the tides. They fish overnight if the tide is rising, but they don't usually hang about during low tide.

Thank you, @RedTagAlan . I knew nothing about fishing before. So interesting.
When you do sea fishing, do you go out on a boat or do it from a pier?

Because they want the wife to end it, make her look mean and them the good guy. This one is no catch of the day.

Don't take the bait this time OP. Throw this worm back. You deserve better. On the positive side he's going to have plenty of pictures for posing with on Plenty of Fish 🐟 🐟 🐟

Mine was "going for a walk", he then used to walk up the road where OW picked him up and they went and sat in McDonalds! i find it hilarious now

Nice piece of fish for breakfast tomorrow, to look on the optimistic side!

Is he river or sea fishing? From memory, river fishing has a season and it's illegal to fish outside that season. I think it's closed season now.

If he wasn’t lying he’d have no need to be cagey about it and avoid his own children - and if he’s indeed fishing and still chose to do that, he’s showing you what a bad father he is.

They do this when they’re cheating. Did it end because he wanted it to end or simply because she moved?

I don’t think it’s looking good, especially as you had something planned and he hadn’t mentioned the ‘fishing trip’ before. Oh and then switching his phone off, so you can’t even contact him if there was an emergency.
He’s taking you for a fool.

That must have been love, eh. Many a fulfilling relationships are enjoyed in a McDonald's carpark. People have no shame or standard😢.