H ‘gone fishing’

[Muggymcmug]

H disappeared first thing this morning muttering something about going fishing. By the afternoon I tried to call then sent a message to remind him of something we had on in a couple of hours. Eventually responded to say that he was going to be night fishing & would be back in the morning. In this weather.

On a scale of 1-absolute bullshit, he’s a massive liar isn’t he?! There has been infidelity which he would swear is over.

Any chance of a MH crisis / work crisis / financial ruin / other issue he's too embarrassed to talk about?

Any reason he would want to avoid (to an extreme) the thing/event you had planned?

You know if he's been fishing, he'll come back stinking.

You know he hasn't though. It looks like you need a plan. Don't have sex with him anymore. Not worth the risk.

Sorry OP.

Well at least there are plenty more fish in the sea - throw this one back... his excuse seems fishy to me!

I work on a lake. There are quite a few carp fishermen out all night. That said, it doesn’t sound like the OP’s chap is if he hasn’t taken any gear.

I’d pack his stuff and change the locks

Another poster has replied to say her DH fishes from a pebble beach. I prefer rock fishing in the sea. Fishing off a rocky shore.

I have not done boat fishing.

That's another thing really. Sea fishing from a beech, off the rocks or from a boat, all need different tackle. Different rods, reels, lines etc. And that is different from freshwater stuff.

So we tend to have lots of tackle. Different species usually means different tackle, and even if an angler targets just one species, say perch for example, they might have a dropshot rod, spinning rods, an Avon rod, leger rod, power float rod , match rod etc etc etc......

It is often said. 99% of tackle is designed to catch the fisherman.

If someone close to you in life is a keen enough fisher to do winter overnights, you will know about it. We need half a bedroom to store our kit. not a broom cupboard :-)

Changing the locks would be illegal and ill advised.

I can imagine! 😁

Pack his bags, put them on the doorstep and tell him to find somewhere else to live!

What a pair of bastards. Your husband and the other woman. Seems she will be getting what she deserves with such a gem of a man.

As a counterpoint my dad was an angler and they are completely mental and do go fishing in all weathers.

But even if I totally believed my husband was fishing I'd be pissed off he would just extend his self-indulgent hobby trip with no notice like that and expect me to pick up the pieces with the kids.

He does sound checked out as PP said, and I'm guessing if you were generally happy and he was a good and supportive husband and father otherwise you wouldn't feel like this or suspect him of lying.

I see that you have a child nursery age and another old enough to want to video call, this must be very upsetting OP. I'm sorry for you x

He probably needs to go fishing to get a photo for his dating profile. Sorry, OP. It doesn’t look good.

Yup. Us fishers need understanding partners, that's for sure.

" I need a new fishing rod. This 13 foot match rod is what I need, and it's only 150 quid, on special offer"

" But you got a new12 foot match rod just a few months ago !"

" Yes, but that's a 12 foot rod, I also need the 13 foot version "

@RedTagAlan your posts are so interesting. You should do an Ask Me Anything.

Ah, yes. I kind of get it. My son is a guitarist and is always changing guitars and amps...

Totally!

No stictly true, shore fisherpeople are out this time of year.
I know this as DH is a proffessional fisher in the artic, our friends are on the shore/beaches here in UK trying to catch cod, doggies etc... weather doesn't put them off!
But OP if he has history, if he hasn't taken his syuff and if he doesn't come home stinking of fish, cold etc then you have your answer.

With carp fishing you put the fish back in the water.

I used to sea angle off a rock shelf.

You can have great success with mackerel, coal fish, pollack and occasional cod, with a simple 15’ bamboo pole with the same length of line and a cast of 6 or so comically primitive flies.

Not particularly relevant, but it comes to my mind when people talk about angling equipment.

If you’re on a boat, you don’t even need the pole.

From experience, someone going fishing:

• spends ages getting their equipment ready
• talks about which spot they’re going to pick today and why
• takes pictures of the fish they’ve caught
• packs a lunch
• definitely takes their wellies!

Turned his phone on this morning to say that he’ll be staying another night, has left my reply on delivered. Drove down to where I think he would’ve gone if he was actually fishing - couldn’t see his car & didn’t pick his phone up when I tried to call. That was pretty much expected though

You remind me of my Dad 🥰.

She absolutely is not pregnant and no secret families. I really don’t think this has got anything to do with his mental health. He’s just a selfish prick.

Yup. Us fishers need understanding partners, that's for sure.

That is an understatement, or live in a commune with other fishers.

This should be the final straw for you OP