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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

H ‘gone fishing’

458 replies

Muggymcmug · 19/11/2025 18:32

H disappeared first thing this morning muttering something about going fishing. By the afternoon I tried to call then sent a message to remind him of something we had on in a couple of hours. Eventually responded to say that he was going to be night fishing & would be back in the morning. In this weather.

On a scale of 1-absolute bullshit, he’s a massive liar isn’t he?! There has been infidelity which he would swear is over.

OP posts:
Muggymcmug · 21/11/2025 16:19

He came home this morning. Couldn’t hide his nervous smirk when I asked where he’d been and he replied with ‘fishing’, asked where and he told me somewhere different to the place I checked at, which no surprises a quick Google shows you can’t night fish there. Also no surprise - white trainers still very much white & no shower had in the time since he’s been back.
He was very interested in where I was going when I went out to view the house, because of course he has the right to be. House was verrry small. Would involve all new furniture to be able to feet. & even then I don’t bring in enough to meet the financials, using a guarantor would be a potential though

OP posts:
Steeleydan · 21/11/2025 16:23

Muggymcmug · 21/11/2025 16:19

He came home this morning. Couldn’t hide his nervous smirk when I asked where he’d been and he replied with ‘fishing’, asked where and he told me somewhere different to the place I checked at, which no surprises a quick Google shows you can’t night fish there. Also no surprise - white trainers still very much white & no shower had in the time since he’s been back.
He was very interested in where I was going when I went out to view the house, because of course he has the right to be. House was verrry small. Would involve all new furniture to be able to feet. & even then I don’t bring in enough to meet the financials, using a guarantor would be a potential though

Did you not confront him and say do you really think iam that stupid!

LouiseMadetheBestBroccoliPasta · 21/11/2025 16:26

Steeleydan · 21/11/2025 16:23

Did you not confront him and say do you really think iam that stupid!

Probbaly better to get her ducks in a row first.

Why waste time on the endless lies that will fall from his mouth? He doesn't deserve any more attention.

SliceofTosst · 21/11/2025 16:27

Jeez. What a smug arsehole he is.

What are you going to do?

SliceofTosst · 21/11/2025 16:27

Jeez. What a smug arsehole he is.

What are you going to do?

IvePiercedMyFootOnASpike · 21/11/2025 16:31

He really thinks you are that stupid to just accept this. That's on him, OP, not you .

I hope you find something suitable and get out really quickly. 💜

GuyForksAndKnives · 21/11/2025 16:35

Muggymcmug · 21/11/2025 16:19

He came home this morning. Couldn’t hide his nervous smirk when I asked where he’d been and he replied with ‘fishing’, asked where and he told me somewhere different to the place I checked at, which no surprises a quick Google shows you can’t night fish there. Also no surprise - white trainers still very much white & no shower had in the time since he’s been back.
He was very interested in where I was going when I went out to view the house, because of course he has the right to be. House was verrry small. Would involve all new furniture to be able to feet. & even then I don’t bring in enough to meet the financials, using a guarantor would be a potential though

He's a rotten swine.

Mugcake · 21/11/2025 16:36

Jesus OP what an absolute joker he is! I cant believe you didnt go ballistic when you saw him! Hope you manage to find somewhere and get away from him

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 21/11/2025 16:40

disgusting behaviour. There are no words. Sending strength ❤️

WanderlustMom · 21/11/2025 16:49

What a vile man. You and your children will be so much better off without him, I really hope you manage to move

LushLemonTart · 21/11/2025 16:54

@Muggymcmug sorry to hear this. He's so smug.

lessglittermoremud · 21/11/2025 16:58

Muggymcmug · 21/11/2025 16:19

He came home this morning. Couldn’t hide his nervous smirk when I asked where he’d been and he replied with ‘fishing’, asked where and he told me somewhere different to the place I checked at, which no surprises a quick Google shows you can’t night fish there. Also no surprise - white trainers still very much white & no shower had in the time since he’s been back.
He was very interested in where I was going when I went out to view the house, because of course he has the right to be. House was verrry small. Would involve all new furniture to be able to feet. & even then I don’t bring in enough to meet the financials, using a guarantor would be a potential though

I think if he asked where I was going I would have replied ‘fishing’ and smirked and then headed out…
What a total arse, if you can move it with family for awhile to have a think without him hovering around now he’s slunk back I would do that and have an honest conversation with them about current situation. I know if my daughter/son was going through the same I would be telling them to come home.
I think he’s treated you with utter contempt and has spared no thought for his children, my 5 year old would be so upset if DH was away and not contactable by video and the older ones would think it very odd…
Sending you a big hug

purpleygrey · 21/11/2025 17:15

What a complete fucking twat.

Ilovepastafortea · 21/11/2025 17:16

I think if he asked where I was going I would have replied ‘fishing’ and smirked and then headed out…

Me too!

I'd also play it cool, keep things 'normal' in order to lull him into a false sense of security until I had all my ducks in a row, a new place to live &, as I was packing to move out say that I was going 'fishing' & he could contact me via my solicitor.

However, I think I'd be having a rather long & painful period as an excuse not to have sex. If you do have sex with him, you need to check yourself out for STI.

What a complete b@st@ard. 😡

MissyMooPoo2 · 21/11/2025 17:22

@Muggymcmug

I'm so sorry. What a waste of space he is. As everyone on here has said, you deserve a million, trillion times better.

As you know, you're going to be much better without him. No matter the size of the new place, it will be YOURS. A safe space for you and the kids without lying, cheating, or disrespect.

Today must hurt a hell of a lot.

Omgblueskys · 21/11/2025 17:27

Ilovepastafortea · 21/11/2025 17:16

I think if he asked where I was going I would have replied ‘fishing’ and smirked and then headed out…

Me too!

I'd also play it cool, keep things 'normal' in order to lull him into a false sense of security until I had all my ducks in a row, a new place to live &, as I was packing to move out say that I was going 'fishing' & he could contact me via my solicitor.

However, I think I'd be having a rather long & painful period as an excuse not to have sex. If you do have sex with him, you need to check yourself out for STI.

What a complete b@st@ard. 😡

This op, ☝️
Stay cool, he will slip up,
So no shower or brushing his teeth and normally so hungry and wanting a hot meal,
As pp had said stay calm and watch,
If your out don't answer your phone op, play his game

AltitudeCheck · 21/11/2025 17:28

I would be so tempted to tell him I was popping to the shops and then turn my phone off and dissappear for a few days! What an absolute wanker!

MissyMooPoo2 · 21/11/2025 17:32

AltitudeCheck · 21/11/2025 17:28

I would be so tempted to tell him I was popping to the shops and then turn my phone off and dissappear for a few days! What an absolute wanker!

And just leave the kids behind?!

Doubledenim305 · 21/11/2025 17:41

Smirked😳
Agree with all the others who said stay silent. Give him nothing. Don't rise to his bait (no pun intended) and continue to do what Ur doing..silent is WAY louder and more confusing tthan a shouting match or reacting.

Frillysweetpea · 21/11/2025 17:45

I really hope you can find a guarantor/place to live. You deserve to be far away from this man. Sending a hand hold.

AltitudeCheck · 21/11/2025 17:46

MissyMooPoo2 · 21/11/2025 17:32

And just leave the kids behind?!

Presumably he can look after his own kids for a bit? Not suggesting it as a full time solution, just long enough to make him sweat when he is forced to think of someone other then himself for a bit!

MissyMooPoo2 · 21/11/2025 17:49

AltitudeCheck · 21/11/2025 17:46

Presumably he can look after his own kids for a bit? Not suggesting it as a full time solution, just long enough to make him sweat when he is forced to think of someone other then himself for a bit!

After all this, would you trust him to even do that?

CakeFace1234 · 21/11/2025 17:52

I am so sorry for you and your DC. What a twit. You do deserve better. I would stay silent too so he has no clue what you are thinking or going to do.

MissyMooPoo2 · 21/11/2025 18:01

AltitudeCheck · 21/11/2025 17:46

Presumably he can look after his own kids for a bit? Not suggesting it as a full time solution, just long enough to make him sweat when he is forced to think of someone other then himself for a bit!

Also, haven’t the kids been through enough without their mum now disappearing?

Bigcat25 · 21/11/2025 18:03

Whenever he asks where your going from now on I'd just say "Fishing, where else would I be?"