H ‘gone fishing’

[Muggymcmug]

H disappeared first thing this morning muttering something about going fishing. By the afternoon I tried to call then sent a message to remind him of something we had on in a couple of hours. Eventually responded to say that he was going to be night fishing & would be back in the morning. In this weather.

On a scale of 1-absolute bullshit, he’s a massive liar isn’t he?! There has been infidelity which he would swear is over.

I’m so sorry, he is a complete idiot. Tell you’re thinking to take up night fishing too as he looks so well when he come back from it.

Say nothing until you’ve secured a new place. All the best to you and your kids, you deserve better x

It infuriates me that some men can be such p$ick@ and it is the female wife/partner that has to turn herself into a pretzel to get out of a situation they didn't create!

I'd throw his wellies and boots out, so when he asks where they are, you can say you must have left them when you went fishing. Bastard.

I hope something turns up for you on the house front where you and your DCs can be happy.

Play your cards very close to your chest. Gather vital (passports, bank statements etc) info and then do what you need to quietly.

What an awful man. Sorry op

Sadly. You need to get checked for STDs.

If you're renting have you checked your entitlement to UC if you were on your own?

What a fucking shitbag he is.

What a nasty craven excuse of a man. So sorry, OP.

what kind of a father and husband just leaves the family like that, not even asking if the kids are ok or anything?

don't worry about rent he will be made to oay child maintenance and it's unlikely he will want to take care of them considering he can leave them for days without a word. do you have a shared bank account? revenge is a dish best served cold, start saving, squirrel away anything you can, open a new account without him knowing, you and your kids deserve so much more, i'm so sorry, but i've been there before, not infidelity, but 10 years of toxic, narcissistic abuser, who traumatised me and the kids.
Leaving and starting again is scary, but the breath of fresh air, and weight lifted is insane, and one day you step back and can't believe how you put up with it, how amazing and different in such a good way life is, good luck and i hope you keep us posted.

I love a good escape story, finding your lost worth is life changing.

Do you have any parents you could stay with while you sort everything out?

i'd be stealing his phone and getting it unlocked at a mobile shop, proof to give to court etc

Contact Shelter for advice, you may have more rights re the housing situation than you’re aware of.

Is the double-entendre intended? XD

You are a better person than me

He’d be getting fish hooks removed from places only a torch could see

When he asked where you were going, did you reply ‘Fishing’?

Look, you need to forget about the size of the house and how any furniture you have may fit - find accommodation that's affordable and then you move foreward.

When me and DH got together we didnt have the provably pot . What I did have was a HA contract for a 1 bedroom flat

So we lived and slept in one room at the time as we done each room up

Our furniture came from skip diving at the start and slowly we bought a bed, a decent suite - what we had started off with went to our friends when they started

Furniture is just baggage

What you need is a safe and secure place where you dont have a total dick taking the piss

You dont believe hes fishing, so why be there when he decides to wander home?

The standard MN advice is to obtain legal advice, evict him from the house, and then have him pay most of the rent as child support (using CSA to enforce the arrangement if necessary). Having read the thread, I don't understand why this doesn't apply here.

Absolute rubbish!!
wear the correct footwear and clothes and you don’t feel the cold!

I left my sons dad when son was 8 months old as his dad couldn't keep it in his pants.
Rented a really crap house. Furnished. A real dump. But you know what I have lived anywhere rather than stay with that.

This. Every time. Stuff is disposable and replaceable. Your self worth is priceless. Just leave, you’ll be fine. So many of us have been where you are, got through it and emerged the other side, stronger and happier. Come and join us OP x

He thinks he holds all the cards, and the bastard is laughing at you.

Op he’s a prize twat isn’t he. Have you contacted your current letting agent to ask if you can stay and take him off the tenancy? Well done for rising above his idiocy. I would be answering a lot of his questions from now on with going fishing. You deserve so much more than him it will get easier.

Me too! Thank you @RedTagAlanx

I don’t know how, but I really want you leave this piece of lying shit. I totally get the bit where you’re terrified of him having the kids alone. I stayed because I can’t trust my h to react appropriately in a crisis. His idea of watching the kids is to watch his iPad with earphones.

Same here!

If people are going to lie, they usually make up something realistic/convincing. To me it sounds crazy to fish now, so it would seem strange to make up a lie like this, when there's so many other things you could say if you were sneaking around.

Not fishing it's too direct op is now an Olympic level swimmer