Would you let your DH socialise with topless work colleague on beach?

[YehaaYessir]

So me and DH have recently moved to France for his work. He seems to be enjoying his work and the other day he messaged me to say he was going to the beach after work with some friends from work and asked if I wanted to come too.
When I got there there was only him and two girls and one of them was topless! I felt really uncomfortable as she wasn't just sunbathing either, she was getting up and walking around topless too, she was also speaking to my husband in French (which he speaks but I don't) which I found uncomfortable.
We had a massive row about it when we got home, he says I'm making a drama out of nothing and am being unreasonable.
So my question is, would you be happy if your DH was socialising with a topless attractive French girl ( (with big boobs for perspective if it matters).?

Good point, I'm just back from Greece and not a single topless women I saw.

Yes but only because he’s an ass guy not a boob guy.

No, I’m kidding. I wouldn’t mind because I trust him and I know if he wanted to see someone else’s boobs he could at any moment due to the internet.

Sorry, but you've moved to France and you feel excluded by people speaking French?
That's completely in your hands to remedy.

I would HATE this. Moreover, my DH would know I would hate it, and he would have left the gathering as soon as the woman took her top off.

I think it'll be interesting to see if he ever goes to the beach with her again. I mean, he couldn't really do much the other day, but if he cares about your feelings, then he wouldn't go again.

If he's still saying you're silly, ask him if it would be okay for you to go to the beach with a very handsome colleague, and take your top off? I doubt he would like that.

Ignore the "cool wives" Op and the "they're just breasts" comments. We ALL know that there's a huge difference between men and women going topless. Women's breasts are sexualised, this is why women don't wander down the road topless, or do their weekly Aldi shop with their tits out. I mean, where do you draw the line? What if the colleague comes round for a BBQ and goes topless in the garden? Is that ok? If not, why not, they're "just breasts" after all.

As for the woman in question, OF COURSE she knows what she's doing. Anyone who thinks otherwise is either shockingly naive or thick. I'm astounded that she did this in front of his wife - that's brazen. I'd say all bets are off where she is concerned, she clearly has no boundaries, him being married counts for nothing.

I wouldn’t say anything to her, I think I would find that demeaning. Tell your husband that you would prefer him not to socialise with work colleagues at the beach if they are going to be topless and draw a line under it.

It's not the same and you know it. A better question would be, would Op's DH be okay with her chatting with a male colleague whose dick has flopped out of his shorts. Or a male who was on the nudist beach. And let's make it a guy with a 10 inch dick as well, shall we (given that the girl had bigger boobs). Yeah, I'm sure her DH would be soooo cool with that. Like fuck would he.

It's just breasts. They same we use to feed our babies.
It's shocking to witness the rampant sexism on this thread.

OMG, this old trope. What about :

"It's just a penis - the things men pee with"

"It's just a bum hole - what we use to poo with"

So, no problem with penises and bum holes being on show then?

You know full well that breasts are sexual. Stop with the faux naivety. Or would you sit in your front garden with no top on? Or whip off your top in a beer garden, just to get that all over tan? If not, why not, after all "they're just breasts"

🙄🙄🙄🙄

Her top was off before I got there. I think it would have been better if she'd taken it off while I was there somehow.
I don't know whether she knew I was coming or not.
I agree with your opinion that she knew what she was doing. She also paid me little attention but DH a lot more.

As PP have said it is a lot less common to go topless in France than before especially between colleagues. I think she's just "trying it on" knowing you don't speak enough french to react.

Demeaning to who? Me or her? I wouldn't care if it was her, given that my preferred actions would be to smack her in the mouth anyway 😄

Sexism?

This awful dh and his awful colleague excluded his poor dp in their chat. The topless bit is an aside imo. I bet the same thing would have happened if they were sat fully clothed.

If she’d been fat and ugly would it have bothered you? If she was wearing a little bikini? I honestly think you need to accept you’ve moved to another country and some things are different

perhaps she isn’t confident speaking English and that’s why she went back to French?

bit does remind me of a friend who went to a Scandinavian country for work and his colleague drove him to the airport. As it was early he said they could stop at a local beauty spot which was a grass hillside overlooking a lake and full of naked people sunbathing. Colleague stripped off and lay down and friend took his jacket off to use as a pillow. Colleague turned and said ‘ah, now you’re making us all look very silly’!

I'm not just being jealous of her body, I'm objecting to her acting like a slut in front of my husband. I don't think that's unreasonable.

So you want to move to another country, but you don't want to 'fit in'.

I'd live your life invite you to the rancid immigration thread....

Of course I want to fit in. I'm learning French and am embracing the culture as much as possible.

Do you not believe she knew what she was doing though? She must know she has a great body and boobs and that getting them out is going to be sexy for a red blooded man.

She knew he's English and would probably be surprised or at least unused to that kind of thing.

If she’d been fat and ugly would it have bothered you? If she was wearing a little bikini?

Why do people say stuff like this? Like it's some kind of Gotcha moment. Of course it wouldn't be the same. This woman was a similar age to Op's DH, she has a lovely body and big boobs. Of course that's entirely different to a woman being (for eg) 80 years old and therefore not as attractive and not in the same age range/dating pool as the DH would be if he was single.

What point are you trying to make?

OF COURSE she knew what she was doing. Anyone pretending otherwise is being disingenuous. As women, we know full well that taking our bra off and revealing our breasts, is at a basic minimum going to turn a man on. Because we're not idiots.

Acting like a slut? Get a grip.

You moved to a country where a part of women are routinely topless on the beach. It doesn't matter whether it is increasing or decreasing percentage, it is legal and generally acceptable.
And yes, they do it when people they know are around, not only in a holiday anonymity.

Calling her names just because you are from different culture and feel insecure is not fair.

Demeaning to you. The fact that this isn’t clear to you is really surprising to me.

So you don't think she had any agenda taking her top off? She must be aware it would at least be noticed and be unusually brazen and sexy to a man who'd just arrived from the UK.

Ignore the "cool wives" Op and the "they're just breasts" comments. We ALL know that there's a huge difference between men and women going topless. Women's breasts are sexualised, this is why women don't wander down the road topless, or do their weekly Aldi shop with their tits out. I mean, where do you draw the line? What if the colleague comes round for a BBQ and goes topless in the garden? Is that ok? If not, why not, they're "just breasts" after all.

I think that some women forget or choose to pretend that men and women generally view breasts differently.

Anyone who has spent any time with men will know exactly what men's reactions to breasts are - underboob, side boob, full boob, cleavage, "haven't seen the tit until you've seen the nipple." And its not something they get less interested in as they get older either. The sheer amount of female nudity films/on TV, porn, strip clubs, OF shows that.

Even men who wouldn't seek it out are just as happy when they see them.

And you'd be a fool to think otherwise.

So, yeah, be happy with it if you like but don't kid yourself that he's not paying attention, committing the image to memory or concealing a semi. Because he is.

This is your position and it is not generally true.

If you visit a good naturistic beach, you will find out that people there generally mind they own business, do whatever they came to do (sunbathing, swimming, chatting, reading books, playing games), just don't wear clothes while doing so.

If some level of nudity is normal (not meaning everyone, but a significant minority), it just isn't that big deal anymore.

Not only that, she knows all the above too.

I'd be more bothered that the person I was married to was too lazy to learn the language of the country she had (presumably) agreed to move to.