Would you let your DH socialise with topless work colleague on beach?

[YehaaYessir]

So me and DH have recently moved to France for his work. He seems to be enjoying his work and the other day he messaged me to say he was going to the beach after work with some friends from work and asked if I wanted to come too.
When I got there there was only him and two girls and one of them was topless! I felt really uncomfortable as she wasn't just sunbathing either, she was getting up and walking around topless too, she was also speaking to my husband in French (which he speaks but I don't) which I found uncomfortable.
We had a massive row about it when we got home, he says I'm making a drama out of nothing and am being unreasonable.
So my question is, would you be happy if your DH was socialising with a topless attractive French girl ( (with big boobs for perspective if it matters).?

Would he mind you talking to a topless male colleague? I wouldn’t be bothered by DH being out with them as I trust him 100% we have been known to point out eye candy to each other. I don’t sunbath topless since having DS as I think it’s a little embarrassing for UK kids but was perfectly comfortable with it before DS.

Fly home, it sounds a nightmare.

From unproffesional colleagues not giving a shit about you.

And also your h's lack of awareness.

Start again with someone who's a little more receptive.

You think she's brave as much as I think you're cool

To what end? And what’s your plan for if she tells you to piss off?

She's in France speaking French, I don't think that's rude. Would it be ok if you were in the UK and she expected you to speak French so as not to exclude her? Your DH should've been helping translate to include you.
As for the sunbathing topless, it's not uncommon in France and your husband invited you so even if she was flirting I think that sends a clear message to the colleague.

But it is a lot more common for people to be topless or nude on the beach in other countries. I don't think it's uptight to be anxious about it given that it's not the norm here but it's relevant in terms of her motivations for being topless (or lack of!).

Smack her in the mouth 😄. Only joking, but that's what I feel like doing 🤣

It's a cultural thing. You'll need to accept it if you're living there now. If you dont like it then dont go to the beach. Also you'll have to start learning the language. Get an online tutor, Preply is great (I'm using it for Spanish). Watching French films will help with the language too. That way you won't be left out of any conversations.

No you need to tell your dh that he needs to include you in conversations. Awful though she sounds, this isn't the colleagues fault it is his.

Yes I think I'd be inclined to do this.

I think it's weird to socialise with your work colleagues in a setting where you don't have many clothes on

I think if I were used to sunbathing topless and I met a male colleague in the beach, I'd not be letting him see my breasts. How awkward. i don't think it would be too inconvenient to keep my top on for a couple if hours

I don't think your husband was at fault here. He did seem to realise that it's a bit unusual for a male to go to the beach with two female colleagues, which is why you were called upon to chaperone. He probably felt uncomfortable too.

I think I would have told him that the whole thing was bizarre and that you are not comfortable with it

so what if you trust your husband? Let her fancy him. If she even does. This poor women is being really judged because she is young and has a great body? Maybe she’s just used to going topless. Christ women can be so paranoid of each other. Would this have been ok if she was old and fat because it seems this is actually about being jealous of her body. We get enough shit from men, let’s not turn on each other and let’s let women be topless if they want. In the end, it’s men who sexualise this part of the body, why can’t we own it again.

I wouldn't bother, she's obviously not bothered that he's married, especially if she was flirty even with you there.
Not sure what you can do, other than telling your husband/partner that you are uncomfortable with him socialising with her.

I don’t let/not let my husband do stuff. I wouldn’t initially love this, but if it’s something that’s common in that cultural context then I’d get used to it. I’ve been to topless and nude beaches before and you honestly stop noticing very quickly. I imagine that if it were something you did regularly, it would all be a bit meh as opposed to BEWBS!

I don’t think I would feel comfortable myself, but I’m not sure it would necessarily be about my DH being there, just i wouldn’t know where to put my eyes.

to be honest, I don’t think women should have to cover up around men, I think it should be on men to control their own reactions to the female body. I don’t think a pair of uncovered boobs is probably any more alluring than a set in a low cut top and push up bra, in fact possibly less so. In the same situation I’d expect my own DH to react in the appropriate way, which would be to basically ignore them, rather than expect her to cover up.

Do not do this. You will look unhinged and it could put DH in to an uncomfortable position at work. If my partner warned a male colleague to back off I would hit the fucking roof.

Totally agree!!! Very inappropriate for a co-worker yo see your intimate body parts. And being topless on the beach is nowhere as common these days in Europe as it was.

You must understand that you are not in the UK anymore. In continental Europe we are not so uptight about being topless.
You are going to have to get used to it. Otherwise every time you go to the beach you will have a hard time.
I'm from Spain and it's the same back home.

I can see how it would happen in France and it’s far more common there than here. But if my DH headed down the beach with colleagues and then it turned out to be just him and two women, one of whom got topless, he’d stay for a short polite time, then make excuses and leave. And tell me about it with horror / amusement! Being somehow unable to understand how you might not be overly happy with this is hugely disingenuous of him.

Continental Europe .

Please read the the thread, we've had many posters from Continental Europe saying it isn't the norm amd certainly not among work colleagues.

This is about a social situation where the op was excluded. I think even in Continental Europe that is considered bad mannered, no?

Never mind the boobs. I would be livid about conversing in a language that excluded you ... is really disrespectful.

There were many posters that said it is common, too. So let's agree it's at least more usual than the UK.
I will admit I should have not said continental Europe in my previous posts as that covers many varied countries.
But France in particular has always been at the forefront in liberal views.

People aren't body conscious, they don't want tan lines

Surely that's a contradiction.

Im half French and its 100% not normal for this to happen.

Going topless is more something older women do, but even a younger woman, no she wouldn't be getting her tit's out while hanging out with a colleague. God its like some posters think France is a 1960s movie or something

I must say I have barely seen anyone topless on a beach for a few years, although I've admittedly never had a beach holiday in France, I'm usually in Greece or Italy.