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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Please please help me with this

142 replies

Gorgeousfeet · 28/02/2025 16:01

Hi all.

my world feels like it’s been blown up this afternoon. My husband is working abroad . He accidentally called me on WhatsApp and I overheard him being incredibly flirty and quite pervy with another female. I think it was the cleaner in his room. It was for about five minutes and amongst other things I heard him tell her she had a lovely bum and could he feel it. Lots of random noises after that ( I am going not sex ) but maybe kissing afterwards.
He knows I know. He’s denying it.
Is there any way that I can retrieve the WhatsApp conversation on my phone? Does anyone know? Can anyone help me ? Please

I have so so much going on in my life right now and I can’t believe he’s done this.

OP posts:
heldinadream · 28/02/2025 16:09

I don't know about the WhatsApp question @Gorgeousfeet, but I just wanted to say that's awful and I'm so sorry.

Were there no clues that he might be behaving like this when he's away from you?
Take care of yourself. Flowers

Maitri108 · 28/02/2025 16:10

If he's cheating and gaslighting you, you don't need proof to leave.

Original poster
Gorgeousfeet · 28/02/2025 16:13

There was no clue
is it cheating ?

I was shaking . Nearly sick and I have taken two diazepam since .

Please can I have help to listen to the call again

OP posts:
Original poster
Gorgeousfeet · 28/02/2025 16:15

I feel really unwell with it and trying. Not to falll apart. And he’s denying all of it .
We’ve only spoken through text .
Our son is not well. Got to have more tests
My beautiful Dad has not long been out of ICU and thankfully is home now
I have so much going on . I feel like I’m in a bad dream .

OP posts:
ThreeMagicNumber · 28/02/2025 16:18

No sorry there isn't a way to relisten to a WhatsApp call again it doesn't have an inbuilt recorder for calls. You heard what he was saying and that's enough and now he's gaslighting you.

Familyfelix · 28/02/2025 16:21

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Gorgeousfeet · 28/02/2025 16:22

What am I going to do?

The trust has gone

OP posts:
Familyfelix · 28/02/2025 16:23

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

LilacPony · 28/02/2025 16:25

Take a moment to breathe. You know what you heard. Trust yourself. You don’t need proof. You don’t need to hear it again. Trust in your reaction to when you were listening to it live.
I’m sorry xx

Userengage · 28/02/2025 16:25

I know what I’d do but do you want to do?

Happyinarcon · 28/02/2025 16:27

Im really surprised about the amount of women on mumsnet whose partners accidentally dial them while they’re visiting a prostitute, getting a lap dance or seducing a maid.

Original poster
Gorgeousfeet · 28/02/2025 16:32

Happyinarcon · 28/02/2025 16:27

Im really surprised about the amount of women on mumsnet whose partners accidentally dial them while they’re visiting a prostitute, getting a lap dance or seducing a maid.

Very true. Not helpful but absolutely correct.
Why the fuck has he done this to us ? To me ? To our babies .

I am heartbroken

OP posts:
Bumcake · 28/02/2025 16:39

So you’re saying he made a pass at the cleaner, who then got it on with him? Is he James Bond?

mrsmagooandtheblueshoe · 28/02/2025 16:42

Gorgeousfeet · 28/02/2025 16:22

What am I going to do?

The trust has gone

Right now write down as much as you can remember of the call. Do it without overthinking it or questioning it, but get a record down. You'll be surprised how much you remember.

What an utter shit. You heard it, so you know he's lying.

Original poster
Gorgeousfeet · 28/02/2025 16:43

Bumcake · 28/02/2025 16:39

So you’re saying he made a pass at the cleaner, who then got it on with him? Is he James Bond?

It’s not funny

OP posts:
Lushness40 · 28/02/2025 16:54

Aww I'm so sorry. Listen to your instincts, you know what you heard.

pompey38 · 28/02/2025 16:59

Gorgeousfeet · 28/02/2025 16:01

Hi all.

my world feels like it’s been blown up this afternoon. My husband is working abroad . He accidentally called me on WhatsApp and I overheard him being incredibly flirty and quite pervy with another female. I think it was the cleaner in his room. It was for about five minutes and amongst other things I heard him tell her she had a lovely bum and could he feel it. Lots of random noises after that ( I am going not sex ) but maybe kissing afterwards.
He knows I know. He’s denying it.
Is there any way that I can retrieve the WhatsApp conversation on my phone? Does anyone know? Can anyone help me ? Please

I have so so much going on in my life right now and I can’t believe he’s done this.

I’m sorry but what cleaner goes in to clean a hotel room and starts kissing the guest ? that sounds more like a prostitute than a housekeeper

pompey38 · 28/02/2025 17:00

Gorgeousfeet · 28/02/2025 16:22

What am I going to do?

The trust has gone

You divorce him ???

minipie · 28/02/2025 17:00

Agree it’s unlikely to be a cleaner

Doesn’t really matter who it was though, you heard what you heard

Original poster
Gorgeousfeet · 28/02/2025 17:02

pompey38 · 28/02/2025 16:59

I’m sorry but what cleaner goes in to clean a hotel room and starts kissing the guest ? that sounds more like a prostitute than a housekeeper

Show quote history

Yeah that’s what I thought.

OP posts:
Azandme · 28/02/2025 17:03

Gorgeousfeet · 28/02/2025 16:13

There was no clue
is it cheating ?

I was shaking . Nearly sick and I have taken two diazepam since .

Please can I have help to listen to the call again

Oh my lovely, you know the answer to this. Your reaction shows you know it's cheating.

I'm so sorry he's such a shit.

Kinneddar · 28/02/2025 17:04

That wasn't a cleaner. That was either a colleague or a sex worker.

Middlepiepush · 28/02/2025 17:05

pompey38 · 28/02/2025 16:59

I’m sorry but what cleaner goes in to clean a hotel room and starts kissing the guest ? that sounds more like a prostitute than a housekeeper

Show quote history

Exactly. They don’t have time for that 😀

Velmy · 28/02/2025 17:15

There's no way to listen to a WhatsApp call back.

But if you're certain of what you heard, you don't need to.

Jasmin71 · 28/02/2025 17:17

Don't do anything now.
Write down everything you remember.
I am so sorry this has happened to you.