New partner won't wear a condom

[Nofruitscones]

Recently started seeing a lovely man ♥️ Met through a mutual friend and hit it off instantly, despite me never wanting to get involved with a man ever again.
Never thought I'd change my mind but gosh he's totally amazing!

We have met a few times now and it's all been lovely and have discussed progressing our friendship and moving things along... 😉

However... he is not keen to use condoms 🙁 He's been married a long time but says don't have sex and I believe him. I really feel like I want to insist on condoms though but oh my goodness, I have proper caught the feels and WANT him!

What to do MN?

Yuck.
He's married.
He's not YOUR partner. He is a married man.
He's also a walking red flag if he won't wear a condom.

Jesus Christ woman... get a grip of yourself.

Strong possibility @Nofruitscones that he’s mirroring you and pretending to be just like you to get in your pants

hes married
he’s a liar
He is probably shagging anyone and everyone he can.

make this a hard boundary but you won’t regret it.

you don’t know this guy, but you know he is cheating on his wife

cool your jets, draw a line and make him respect you.

@Nofruitscones Do you mean he’s still married? In which case I merely echo all PPs.

Or do you mean he was married until recently?

Either way, I would not have sex without condoms. Are you on the pill/coil/other? You still need full STI screening.

He is basically saying he will have sex with you without knowing if YOU have an STI…and he could be putting it about all over town.

He’s married ? Or do you mean he was married a long time and now doesn’t have sex ? If he’s married - don’t be that woman that is the OW because you believe they have a dead marriage .

I never used condoms with my now husband - he doesn’t like them and he had already had a vasectomy when we met - however , we both had STI checks ( well , that’s a lie… the first night we hadn’t and got very carried away ! I was on the pill anyway and he had told me he had a vasectomy but I’m very conscious of sexual health. I spoke to him and he assured me he had been recently tested and I also had been too since the last person I had slept with - even though it hadn’t been unprotected. But I said to him that I didn’t know him enough to just take his word and neither did he know me enough so we both went for tests for peace of mind ) . I understand that men don’t like wearing them but I do think you need to be very careful . I didn’t have pregnancy as a worry due to his vasectomy but we still had that conversation about what ifs x

“He's been married a long time but says don't have sex”

Really? That old chestnut, you’ve fallen for it? 🙄

And this still doesn’t make it ok for you to shag him. Tell him to leave the relationship then you can discuss condoms.

Stop thinking with your fanny and use your brain.

You need higher standards.

Btw he is not a new partner, he is merely a boyfriend and apart from that...someone else's husband.

If you want to get involved with a loathsome person like this, be complicit in his cheating on his wife and put yourself at risk of disease there is nothing much to say.

OP not been back? Stunned!

She is too busy riding the unprotected pole of depravity.

Your Answer.
No condom, no shag, no negotiation.

She’s gone.

Wtf is wrong with you?!

Recently started seeing a lovely man
He's been married a long time Those two sentences are mutually exclusive - a lovely man does not cheat on his wife.

Go ahead and shag him if you want Chlamidya.

I won't the address the part about being married because I'm going to assume that was poor wording on your part and he is indeed divorced but was married a long time.

Wake up OP, you say he's been married a long time and don't have sex with wife( rings true for many). Whatever the truths or untruths, he is MARRIED so someone else's husband. And doesn't want to use condoms????????
Get real, wake up and smell the coffee

He’s a proven scumbag. You won’t be his first

Thanks for your honesty and sound advice

I don’t think it’s sad that silly, sexist and incorrect views are seen as old fashioned! I hope they’ll die out totally to be honest

I'm disappointed that those Aids commercials from the 1980s havent had the desired effect. All on youtube OP should you want to educate yourself.