New partner won't wear a condom

[Nofruitscones]

Recently started seeing a lovely man ♥️ Met through a mutual friend and hit it off instantly, despite me never wanting to get involved with a man ever again.
Never thought I'd change my mind but gosh he's totally amazing!

We have met a few times now and it's all been lovely and have discussed progressing our friendship and moving things along... 😉

However... he is not keen to use condoms 🙁 He's been married a long time but says don't have sex and I believe him. I really feel like I want to insist on condoms though but oh my goodness, I have proper caught the feels and WANT him!

What to do MN?

I had sex with DH first night, still together 24 years later.....

Won't be the only thing she'll catch if he's in the habit of doing this. Which, of course, they almost always are.

However ...

Only three out of ten.

🍪

This

His poor wife.

Oh my goodness this is terrible his poor wife !

Mmmm, STD's, yum. Oh, and pregnancy. OH, ANNNNNND married man. Yeah, great catch.

So, if I've understood correctly, this man is sleeping with other women whilst married? And is against safe sex?

Yes, OP, you've got yourself quite the catch there... 🙄

Whether he has sex with his WIFE or he doesn’t… he still has a wife! He’s married!! He is also more than likely having sex with his wife, that will just be a line to get you to sleep with him. Him not wanting to use a condom should be the least of your concern. This ‘lovely’ man you’re seeing isn’t as lovely as you think, no lovely man would betray his wife.

I wonder if he said my wife doesn’t understand me… How anyone can refer to someone else’s husband as their partner is beyond me let alone the other risks involved!

I went to select all to find the OP's correction, but alas 🤷🏾‍♀️.

OP has run for cover. Either that or she’s at the guy’s house right now, having a chat with his wife…

At the risk of taking off topic, you can catch loads of STIs from oral sex and I doubt many 'wrap up' for that.

But it's why flavoured condoms were invented.

And the uber-romantic dental dam.

Was really keen for an update. I hope OP returns to tell us what her decision will be on the no condom conundrum....

Good to hear but I am guessing that this is rare ( although I have no evidence to support). Relationship success can be abit of a gamble

Seriously?!
Find someone who is free!

Hi @Nofruitscones I went out with a guy who didn't like to use condoms. We discussed risk and testing and I believed I was at no risk. However I contracted HIV. At the very, very least insist on STI screening which can be done postally
The end.

Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you are doing OK

I’m good now - thanks for asking, and as healthy as any of my friends plus being on meds I can’t pass it in to anyone else. It was a massive shock at the time. I wasn’t aware that STIs are on the increase in older people and that a third of people living with HIV in the UK are women. It’s something that we think will never happen to us.

It has actually brought opportunities I never thought I’d get, most recently volunteering at Chelsea Flower Show in the Terrence Higgins Trust garden 🌺

Brilliant news all around. Wishing you many more of those wonderful opportunities. As you said, so many people think this only happens to other people. I'm sure you know this already treatment/meds for HIV supports people's life expectancy to be 'normal'. Glad you are doing so well!

This has got to be a troll post. Surely nobody is this stupid or this much of an asshole.
Every time I say that though, I'm proven wrong.

Condoms serve 2 main purposes. Protection against STDs and protection from pregnancy. Personally, l have a good memory but l can’t remember the last time l had sex without a condom.

Does he want to support a child? You know the answer there.

The married aspect is not good, but it’s worse than that, it’s his wishing to be .