Partner is questioning our relationship because of celebrity free pass

[Rockiepride]

Last night, my partner and I were sharing a bottle of wine and watching TV.

Megan Fox appeared and he mentioned how beautiful she was, I agreed and jokes that he absolutely has a free pass for her.

He immediately asked who my free pass would be and I again joked Brad Pitt.

He then started questioning if I was being serious and how I can’t love him if I’m happy that he would sleep with her or I would with Brad Pitt (insane I know!) I stuck to my comments and said yes absolutely, thinking this was all a bit of a laugh.

This morning he has said that he doesn’t think I can be serious about him or the relationship if my view is that it’s ok to sleep with a celebrity. He said that he would never want to sleep with anyone over me, that it hurts him to think I can’t say the same, and that he needs to question whether or not we have the same morals as he’s so upset I would say such a thing.

Am I the one who is in the wrong here? I thought a celebrity free pass was a bit of a common thing (and totally unrealistic, so therefore a bit of a joke). I’ve been surprised as his reaction to this.

Sounds a bit over sensitive and insecure, I'm sure Brad Pitt features in a lot of free celebrity passes! How old is your partner and how long have you been together?

I understand where he was coming from and wouldn't like it either. I think free passes sound stupid and juvenile so wouldn't be talking like that in any of my relationships. I don't think it's the actual celebrity part that is his problem, he's probably just applying it to 'another person' who isn't you and feels hurt by that. If you care about him, you need to approach it in a caring way and actually listen to his hurt not just see it as ridiculous. Just because it was a joke to you, doesn't devalue the real feeling it evoked in him

There is no way I would say “no” to Coleen Farell no matter how my partner objects!

Well, yes he is overreacting so just tell him you wouldn’t do it and it’s over. He just needs some reassurance.

He asked her the question and she answered truthfully so not sure what the problem is unless she really does have Brad Pitt on speed dial

He’s being an idiot. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.

It’s hardly like Brad Pitt going to be down your local and you’ve got a chance with him. I imagine many women have him as their free pass.

Your OH should be more worried if you’d answered ‘Dave from accounts’

I can see both sides. I get it's light hearted and I've had partner's in the past who I've had these kind of discussions with, but I don't have them with my dh, because he finds it hard to see stuff like this in a light hearted way. Although it's never going to happen, just talking about the possibility makes him feel a certain way and stirs up negative emotions and so out of respect for him, we don't joke about stuff like this.

There's no right or wrong, but now you know it makes him not feel great, just reassure him and then keep these kind of jokes for your mates. Simples!

By his own logic he was inappropriate by starting the conversation with how beautiful Megan Fox is. So he's allowed to do that but you can't joke about Brad Pitt? Double standards for sure.

He can dish it out, but can’t take it!

I don't get these things either, wouldn't want to hear partner talk about who he'd like to fuck and I wouldn't do that to him either. I don't feel that anyway about celebs.

Unbelievably childish from your partner

I agree with this. I think it's important that you don't minimise this as "just a joke" because, although you were just joking, he's clearly genuinely hurt by it. I don't think you're in the wrong per se, but neither is he, and I think you need to give him some reassurance rather than try to get him to see you were just joking.

Also to those saying it's double standards or he started it, there's a bit of a leap between commenting that someone is attractive and discussing having sex with them. It was OP who started the "free pass" conversation.

I have a celeb as my screen saver on my phone.. Dh just rolls his eyes... Does your bf think he is above Brad Pitt?

It's just a joke - I used to have a free pass for Tess Daly!! Hers was Idris Elba! Nothing threatening at all

I think his reaction is way, way OTT. Is he usually so sensitive? Any reason for that?

I have 6 celebs on my list and my partner finds it funny. My number 1 looks very like my partner so he’s happy. 🤣

Idris Elba a solid choice 😅

Fucking ‘ell he sounds hard work.

Hot celeb screensaver here too. 🙋🏻‍♀️

I would always work on the assumption of there being a list of three free pass.

Brad was on mine and I had the pleasure of seeing him across the room in a pub in Dublin once. Needless to say I couldn't open my mouth and my boyfriend of the time nearly cried laughing 🤣. He is probably still out there waiting for a Ann Summers model to buy him a pint 😂

I think it's odd to be like 'I'd cheat with this person, but it's fine because they're well-known'.

Jesus well over sensitive. My dp likes Kate Beckinsale I like Ryan Reynolds we are never going to meet them

Women on here are jealous if men walk on the same side of the road as a woman, I think he is being silly but these ganes never seem to work it seems

I know my husband's and agree with his choices but he has never said, not sure he knows mine

Yep. Why did he comment about Megan then?

It’s a common thing isn’t it? Lots of couples have had this conversation in a lighthearted way.

I can’t remember who my OH’s are. Natalie Portman maybe. 🤔 The only time I have felt insecure about this sort of thing was when I was pregnant and hormonal and OH made a few comments about Scarlett Johansson that felt a bit much at a time when I wasn’t looking or feeling at my best.

OH knows that if Jarvis Cocker or Paul Rudd offer themselves up, I’ll be off for a bit of action.

Although of course I actually wouldn’t because they’re both strangers to me, and I’ve got a husband I really like, and anyway I’m a lot less interested in sex than I used to be 😂

Would quite like to go for a pint or dinner though if you’re reading Jarv/Paul.

I had my celeb free pass refused because he lives semi locally and we have a friend in common so my other half said I had too much of a chance 😂

He's being ridiculous. He started it with banging on about Megan Fox and then got his feelings hurt when you did the same.

(FWIW if my husband actually had a shot with Gillian Anderson I'd wave him off happily and be more jealous of him than her haha)