Partner is questioning our relationship because of celebrity free pass

[Rockiepride]

Last night, my partner and I were sharing a bottle of wine and watching TV.

Megan Fox appeared and he mentioned how beautiful she was, I agreed and jokes that he absolutely has a free pass for her.

He immediately asked who my free pass would be and I again joked Brad Pitt.

He then started questioning if I was being serious and how I can’t love him if I’m happy that he would sleep with her or I would with Brad Pitt (insane I know!) I stuck to my comments and said yes absolutely, thinking this was all a bit of a laugh.

This morning he has said that he doesn’t think I can be serious about him or the relationship if my view is that it’s ok to sleep with a celebrity. He said that he would never want to sleep with anyone over me, that it hurts him to think I can’t say the same, and that he needs to question whether or not we have the same morals as he’s so upset I would say such a thing.

Am I the one who is in the wrong here? I thought a celebrity free pass was a bit of a common thing (and totally unrealistic, so therefore a bit of a joke). I’ve been surprised as his reaction to this.

Just remembered another of my OH’s is Michaela Stratton 😂 (Yes, we are children of the 70s/80s)

Do people really get hung up about shit like this. My god.

Me and DH have no problem with saying we find a celeb attractive but we don't talk about sleeping with them. Neither of us would sleep with someone else whether they are famous or not so just silly and pathetic to talk about it

Is Coleen Farrell Colin’s less famous sister?

Does have a history of not being able to tell fantasy from reality? Is he so incredibly literal minded that he can't work out the difference?

I'd find this very offputting in a man. He's either lacking in any kind of imagination, or thinks that one day you might actually bump into Brad Pit who will fall in lust with you on the spot when you whip your pass out, or more worryingly has a very irrational jealous streak. You'd be the best person to guess which is is, but none of them are very attractive.

Hands off, he's mine!

Coleen Farrell is the secret lovechild of Coleen Nolan and Colin Farrell, you cannot convince me of anything else.

Totally agree with this.
However in this case I think OP's partner is being two faced if he thinks its OK for him to lust after celebrities but his partner isn't allowed to.

Thierry Henry for me, DH knows and we joke about it. Racquel Welch for him, from when she was younger, if course. It doesn't mean we don't love each other, and want to spend our lives together.

It's just a silly light hearted thing that lot's of couples do, knowing that it will never happen.

Oh Colin! How could you……….

Lol why are you both posting on here today?

I mean his was a novel and has now been deleted, if half of what he said is true though I think Megan Fox is the least of your worries

You need to separate and sort your issues out for your child

Someone just posted and then withdrew a super long post from the other partners perspective, also mentioning Meghan Fox and a free pass. So either it's a weird coincidence, or it's a messy situation. If it's not a coincidence, try couples therapy?

Some people are very comfortable talking about who they'd like to have sex with if they had the opportunity with their partner, and that's fine if they're both comfortable, but my belief is that you keep romance alive by acting like you only have eyes for your partner. It seems disrespectful and bad for the relationship to comment on who you find sexually attractive, let alone have a list of people you would cheat on your partner with. Raw honesty doesn't always make your relationship better IMO, although I get that some people think that is essential for true intimacy.

Wowza I was reading the other thread and then saw the Megan fox bit.... you've both too much time on your hands!

Depends. My other half actually looks quite a lot like one of the people I would request a free pass for, to the point of having once been stopped for an autograph, (if you know my username, you know - lucky me!) so I would never ask as it would be a bit weird and probably v insensitive.

But assuming there's nothing like that at play, he's being weirdly over sensitive.

Notice the “you need to” do this and “you need to” do that.

OP needs to do nothing as much as her DP needs grow up. Try to dress it up any way you like, but the fundamental question is whether she would want to spend any time at all with someone so immature. I certainly wouldn’t.
Honestly, OP he has walked himself off the pitch here. I would absolutely let him.

Yes this. it’s weird and silly on both sides. You can briefly mention finding a celeb attractive, no need to take it to the extent of talking about “free passes”

Well said, agree with this completely.
My husband is laughing about my very open opinion of the "best and hottest" footballer ever but I would never say to him that I would sleep with this footballer. And I will always tell my DH that "honey you are way better and hotter of course" (he is better but probably not hotter). There is a thin line which shouldn't be crossed in what you say, words can hurt even if the head says they are a joke.

I expect your partner is a bit sensitive seeing as he's just posted the same thing but included your history of class A drug abuse and cheating.

If this is real I suggest you both grow up and sort your lives out for the sake of the poor child caught up in this shit.

Who made the joke of a free pass for him (that wasn’t clear in OP) was it you or him that said it?

I had Kelly Jones and me as my screensaver.

It would be hard to say no, I must admit.

The idea that someone in a relationship should never fancy anyone else or fantasise about sleeping with anyone else is ridiculous and unrealistic for most people. Being insecure about this is pathetic. Most people can have a laugh with their partners about celebrities they think are hot or whatever. I couldn't live in a relationship where I had to pretend my DP was the only man who would ever float my boat again.

Oh god, what a drama llama. Mine is Brad Pitt in his early 30s, my husband´s is Spanish actress Paz Vega. He´s ok as long as I don´t get my hands on a time machine. ffs.

The whole free pass thing is just a stupid joke, isn't it? I've never discussed it with my DH but if I did I'd assume we were both just joking.

It’s a joke. My partner and I laughed at an episode of Friends with it in years ago, as well as a similar advert with Peter Kaye in and it’s stayed as a long running joke for us. If we say someone is hot, thd other asks if they need to amend their laminated list.