Partner is questioning our relationship because of celebrity free pass

[Rockiepride]

Last night, my partner and I were sharing a bottle of wine and watching TV.

Megan Fox appeared and he mentioned how beautiful she was, I agreed and jokes that he absolutely has a free pass for her.

He immediately asked who my free pass would be and I again joked Brad Pitt.

He then started questioning if I was being serious and how I can’t love him if I’m happy that he would sleep with her or I would with Brad Pitt (insane I know!) I stuck to my comments and said yes absolutely, thinking this was all a bit of a laugh.

This morning he has said that he doesn’t think I can be serious about him or the relationship if my view is that it’s ok to sleep with a celebrity. He said that he would never want to sleep with anyone over me, that it hurts him to think I can’t say the same, and that he needs to question whether or not we have the same morals as he’s so upset I would say such a thing.

Am I the one who is in the wrong here? I thought a celebrity free pass was a bit of a common thing (and totally unrealistic, so therefore a bit of a joke). I’ve been surprised as his reaction to this.

I’m guessing this isn’t his first childish display of insecurity , jealousy immaturity. Wah wah you fancy Brad Pitt. Wah wah.

Who was it???

lol my DH doesn't like it ( we were together when this was on Friends the first time so been together a LONG time lol!) when I say I don't have 5, all 5 spaces have Johnny Depp ... or Keanu Reeves (not dissimilar to my DH in build, hair colour /style anyway lol) - I just tell him to chose his free pass - doesn't bother me - let's face it, it's never going to happen as I doubt with JD or KR have me on their free pass non- celebrity list 🤪

Of course it's normal to fancy someone else. I don't see why though you would talk about sleeping with them.

I think Idris Elba is drop dead gorgeous but I can honestly say that if he walked into the room naked and offered sex I would turn him down. That is because I think cheating is totally wrong.

Love the "it's fine if you want to and are both comfortable but my relationship is better, more romantic and more truly intimate than yours because I don't do this" thinly veiled superiority of this post 🙄

Not just fancying though is it? Ok the chances of OP having sex with Brad Pitt is pretty unlikely but what if a chance did happen?

If this ever happens give me a call and I'll take him off your hands.

I think the key is being able to discern the difference between pretty unlikely and "never in a month of Sundays with a blue moon is this ever going to be reality it is totally a fantasy". Shagging Brad Pitt comes into the second camp, if you're still not sure.

He said that he would never want to sleep with anyone over me, that it hurts him to think I can’t say the same, and that he needs to question whether or not we have the same morals as he’s so upset I would say such a thing.
So you told him that this is a well-known childish game, something that people say because they know the celebrity in question won't ever fall into their lap, and he's still saying he is morally superior to you as if you meant it totally seriously?
Having had a morally superior partner for a couple of decades, personally this would make me question my relationship. When someone believes they are superior to you, and looks down on you, it's not a relationship of equality and respect.

My current bf would not misunderstand this game, either wilfully or honestly, partly as he does not think he is superior to me, so does not jump to the worst possible conclusion about my morals.
If he did misunderstand something and was hurt, I'd apologise, give him a hug and explain what I meant, and he'd accept it.

Is your dp usually like this, or is it something new? My ex was especially moralistic and superior when cheating on me - if this was out of character I'd wonder if he was inventing reasons why I deserved to be dumped/cheated on.

If you actually mean it then I’m with your partner on this. If it’s an actual joke then he’s being a bit sensitive. But it’s not impossible to meet celebrities so it’s not a total fantasy although it’s unlikely.

you keep romance alive by acting like you only have eyes for your partner. It seems disrespectful and bad for the relationship to comment on who you find sexually attractive,

So you both pretend that you never find anyone else attractive? How unrealistic is that.

I hate cheating, have never cheated on anyone, would never cheat even if Jon Bon Jovi of 1994 knocked on my door ..... But to never be able to watch a film or a concert or something and say someone is attractive seems OTT.

He is entitled to think what he thinks. You’ve apologised but if he can’t move past it, then he can’t move past it. You can acknowledge his hurt without letting him weaponise his hurt to punish you.

If this has him questioning your relationship not just your comments, then maybe you aren’t compatible.

Sounds like he FAFO? Just tell him he's a well endowed stud and there is nobody else in the world for you but him and all should be well.

For what it's worth, I am very sexually confused about Ruby Rose and I seriously would. Catholic or not.

We never did the free pass talk but we know who each other fancy. He likes Tiffany Amber out of saved by the bell. This is where it gets interesting, she looks nothing like me, totally different face shape, hair colour etc.
I liked the Poldark main character Aiden Turner but he actually does look like DH.
OP, I can't believe it's ok for him to free pass Megan but then expects you to not have one. This is my choice but hey you aren't allowed one. That would actually piss me off and have me thinking about the whole one set of rules for him and different for everyone else problem.
Edit. Jumbled the last bit, long bloody day.

What’s the other thread? Can you link?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5077034-microcheating-and-disrespect-should-i-stay
this deleted one?

Damn, I missed it. 🤣

Thanks though.

You missed the longest OP in Mumsnet history, detailing their car crash relationship.

Agree. If you raised it i think i would be YABU but he raised it and then objected when you said brad pitt although he was standing to attention over mehan fox... nah.... he expected you to say noone just you and for u to be upset over Megan fox...ges a double standard douche. Tell him maybe he is right... because he took it far too seriously and you dont need a serious guy. Adios. Bet he backs down.. he's testing your boundaries

Taken at face value from this thread alone, it just sounds like he was spoiling for a fight about something.

Weird reaction!

My DP told me if I hit it off with Tom Hardy he’d be my bridesmaid

It's not because they're well known, it's because they're a fantasy - a made up celebrity persona and the reality couldn't live up to the fantasy.

Ok okz sorry for the typo.
Colin Farrell then!

From Coleen Colin xx

I told Dh that if Penelope Cruz ever agreed to sleep with him then I want to join in.

It is slightly sleazy but that wasn’t his complaint. That I could understand but if Chris Hemsworth calls I don’t have morals.

It does sound like this is the least of your problems though.