Porn again ..

[Sleepy889]

A couple of years ago, I found porn sites on DH phone to show favourites on safari.
We had a discussion about it, I said it felt disrespectful and I felt betrayed because I can't complete with that.
He said he'd not look again, ofc he did but I know he has an addictive personality so stood to reason it'd happen again
So today when I looked I saw free live girls as one of them and I draw the line at that. I don't exactly know what this entails perhaps someone can enlighten me though I can guess.
I've felt sick all morning about it because other than this we have a lovely life and great relationship.
I can hardly bring it up because he'll know I've been looking, the site in question is X hamster.

I still don't understand how any of the pro porn posters justify the fact that they haven't asked for the people that they are waking off toos consent? You've just decided that because it's on a screen it's OK. But you don't know. You don't know if they've been refused pay unless they act in a bullshit way that they didn't sign up for. Drug addled, booze addled, trafficked. We know nothing about the sex workers on the other side of the screen. We definitely don't know how comfortable they are comprising themselves. And that's the first wrong in a huge list of wrongs. Healthy comes nowhere near...

I'm not pro-porn myself but I hope you and all who make this argument are 100% sure none of the clothing or gadgets you own aren't produced by cheap, exploited labour in third world countries.

Being critical of people wanting to do the right thing when they are lacking in other areas still doesn't change their arguement from being right.

It's a very weak argument.

No it just makes them hypocritical. As I said, I agree with the argument.

You can be a hypocrit and still be right. I'd love for no child labour, or anyone for that matter being abused at work. I do try to make ethical choices. But I need to clothe my family. Mostly I buy second hand, although there is still the legacy of what people went through to make it. But porn just ain't necessary. You can wank with imagination alone!

I agree. It's just a better look for hypocrites to be a little less self-righteous.

Why?

Yes, I noticed that. So good to have it properly mansplained to us silly women who see the desperation and exploitation.

Because righteousness is a poor tone to take when you're selective over the causes you wish to employ it for. Bleeding your heart over poor exploited women, in an industry many of them chose to enter, is just empty rhetoric if you're willingly buying the products of sweat shops.

That's an archaic view of pornography. Much of porn now is amateur home videos, where the women may reap the direct financial benefit through onlyfans etc.

The opposite was established in a study.

It's a fallacy.

@commonsense12 "That's an archaic view of pornography. Much of porn now is amateur home videos, where the women may reap the direct financial benefit through onlyfans etc."

Prove it.

You don’t think women at home doing “amateur” videos could possibly be being coerced into porn by partners, pimps or traffickers still?

Very naive.

And stop trying to justify porn by accusing those who oppose it of being hypocrites. I do not seek out to get off on sexual exploitation.

The most searched term in porn is for teenagers. Just sickening to support this grubby industry.

People tying themselves up in knots trying to justify it. You can’t.

I'm not sure about this one. It could easily extend to fantasies about real people. If people are continually posting on their OF account, they've probably been paid. Even if they have been paid, you'd need to ask for consent every time etc

I would hope it took more than 'a study' to establish. A quick Google search suggests there are a lot of studies out there that confirm so why is the study you reference any more reliable?

People who think the 'amateurs' category is actually people doing it in their spare time for fun are delusional.

https://www.socialcostsofpornography.com/index.php
A collection of studies and experts saying porn is damaging in many areas of life. Little rat boys thinking they be Frat Boyz.

Pornography is more exciting than satisfying because we have two separate pleasure systems in our brains, one that has to do with exciting pleasure and one with satisfying pleasure. The exciting system relates to the ‘appetitive’ pleasure that we get imaging something we desire, such as sex or a good meal. Its neurochemistry is largely dopamine-related, and it raises our tension level.
The second pleasure system has to do with the satisfaction, or consummatory pleasure, that attends actually having sex or having that meal, a calming, fulfilling pleasure. Its neurochemistry is based on the release of endorphins, which are related to opiates and give a peaceful, euphoric bliss. Pornography, by offering an endless harem of sexual objects, hyper-activates the appetitive system. Porn viewers develop new maps in their brains, based on the photos and videos they see.
Because it is a use-it-or-lose-it brain, when we develop a map area, we long to keep it activated. Just as our muscles become impatient for exercise if we’ve been sitting all day, so too our senses hunger to be stimulated. The men at their computers [addicted to] looking at porn [are] uncannily like the rats in the cages of the NIH [National Institutes of Health], pressing the bar to get a shot of dopamine or its equivalent. Though they [don’t] know it, they [have] been seduced into pornographic training sessions that [meet] all the conditions required for plastic change of brain maps.

I wonder how men managed before the internet, the poor little loves.

Ok we seem to be talking about different though related things. You originally responded to someone suggesting that men are more sexually aroused by visual stimulae than are women.

I don't doubt at all that pornography is everything this study says and more. It's actually worse than even the issue of men who are unable to stop jerking off to porn. We've totally pornified our society and it's a genie we're never getting back in the bottle.

I posted on another thread the other day about how the mass use of VR headsets and the obvious opportunities therein for pornographers is going to kick this into a totally different gear.

They usually went out and met women and had real relationships. The increase in internet speed and porn being the most searched topic has also correlated with increased male suicides, lower relational joy and increase in femicide.
It's what men have done since the internet that is worrying for all of us.

VR headsets have already been used to attack teenagers. There was a case last year where a group of men cornered a teen girl and shouted what they were going to do to her sexually in a game. It's already happening in the minds of some men - as I say the femicide rates are increasing as the line between what men expect after "porn training" and what women do, blurs.

That I don't doubt. What I'm specifically talking about though is that when (and it won't be long) they manage to make extremely convincing VR porn experiences you are going to lose an entire generation of young men to it.

My point is we already have. It will simply section men away from women more and more and they'll end up never leaving the house. Like those kids who die in front of screens because they forget to eat. Why men want to eradicate themselves by creating and testing more and more addictive content is beyond me, but they do and they think it is "progress".

I personally don't care if my husband watches pron because I do too 😂
We have had an open chat about it and both agreed neither of us cared .
The only thing we are absolutely no about is buying a live zoom call that's a no.

I agree. Always some grubby little wanker mansplaining how healthy it is to enjoy an industry which exploits and damages women.