Porn again ..

[Sleepy889]

A couple of years ago, I found porn sites on DH phone to show favourites on safari.
We had a discussion about it, I said it felt disrespectful and I felt betrayed because I can't complete with that.
He said he'd not look again, ofc he did but I know he has an addictive personality so stood to reason it'd happen again
So today when I looked I saw free live girls as one of them and I draw the line at that. I don't exactly know what this entails perhaps someone can enlighten me though I can guess.
I've felt sick all morning about it because other than this we have a lovely life and great relationship.
I can hardly bring it up because he'll know I've been looking, the site in question is X hamster.

Porn use isn't healthy it's sad. Would turn me right off someone.

I don't buy the 'all men do it anyway, you can't stop them' what a fucking joke. Men get a free pass on so many things because 'they can't help it' or 'it's just how they are' 🤢

With the emergence of AI technology I wonder how many men would 'utilise' that rather than real life women being exploited? Doesn't have the same appeal I guess as seeing women being degraded and abused to get off on.

The creation of the pornify apps (where you can take a picture of anyone and create a naked body to wank over) that create a crossroads. No one NEEDS to be able to do that. Kids and teens are currently are being abused because of it; groomers showing them a pic of them and saying they'll tell their parents unless they do XYZ. Kids as young as 3 are posting pictures of themselves online under direction of men on certain sites. It won't stop real abuses, just encourage them to think the person isn't real.

Oh I didn't know about that @KitKatChunki. That is very sick indeed.

I was more thinking about something I saw on a news website, it was an instagram or only fans 'star' who was completely AI generated. I believe men signed up not knowing that fact.

'wonder how men managed before the internet, the poor little loves.'

Magazines? Top shelf mags were a thing before the internet.

Porn/erotic content/adult material has been around forever.

If excessive use negatively impacts a relationship it is of course not ok but I would suggest most men and plenty of women view adult content. Less hysteria and more common sense needed.

Less hysteria over an industry that exploits, degrades, objectifies, abuses those in it?

On the contrary, we need more backlash over it.

Women. Aren’t. Objects.

@Janiie "Porn/erotic content/adult material has been around forever. "

Of course it has. However,it's only in the past 20 years that it has involved large numbers of trafficked, exploited women available for free. And only in the last 10 or so has it involved videos of women being raped.

Happy with partner looking at porn now and then but very wary of internet porn. It's the wild west and easy to get addicted to which makes it hard to get aroused by normal sex, it also so so exploitative to vulnerable women and girls.

Bring back the days of a dodgy VHS or magazine in a brown paper bag.

Contrary to mn law many women <and men> are in the industry through choice. Like every other aspect of life there will be some bad practises but we don't say people shouldnt have cleaners because some are trafficked and kept as modern day slaves do we?

Contrary to mn law many women <and men> are in the industry through choice.

That depends on a very loose interpretation of 'choice'.

We all agree that consent is critical in sex (well, maybe you don't, but..)
She wouldn't consent if she wasn't being paid.
Therefore she's being economically coerced.

@Janiie "we don't say people shouldnt have cleaners because some are trafficked and kept as modern day slaves do we?"

Personally, I go to great lengths to be as sure as I can be that anyone I employ is neither trafficked nor a slave.

Also my cleaner is not being raped for my pleasure.

I think that to guilt trip a person out of something they enjoy because "you can't compete with it" aka you are jealous is the wrong thing to do. And I don't say that as a personal attack on the OP who I know is going through something but it seems common for (some) women to think it's okay to demand their husbands don't watch porn because they don't like it. Everyone has the right to a private / solo sex life. If porn is a part of that then as long as no one is being forced to have sex on camera - -so what?
A comment was made about women being more likely to enjoy erotic novels and it was rubbished by someone else - but it was a valid point. It's well known women are more likely to be aroused by reading erotica and men (being more visual I guess) by porn. Imagine if a husband told a wife to stop reading her 'romance' novel because he was uncomfortable or he couldn't compete with the tall dark handsome hero, would that be acceptable? Or would he rightly be labelled as an insecure person who has no right to make that kind of demand?
I do think there is a big difference between watching pre recorded porn and live web cam though.

You are comparing a book, fictional, to real women being abused for men's pleasure. I hope you can actually see that? Women are real people. Humans. Not fictional.

Maybe read the thread? We've covered your points.

The comparison of reading erotica vs watching porn is the same as reading crime novels vs watching snuff movies.

Oh for gods sake. Most of you are in relationships with men, it’s fine for men to leave respectful comments disagreeing ffs.
also don’t make this a men vs women issue, I know so many women who love watching porn. Just because you don’t, you don’t speak for all women. For once, can people just be normal and not fly off the handle at some respectfully showing a different opinion to them…

@Begaydocrime94 "also don’t make this a men vs women issue, I know so many women who love watching porn."

Well, those are women who don't care about the potential abuse or exploitation of women either. Women can be bad actors too. But generally, threads about porn are about how men need/want it. In a way that, surprisingly, men 100 or even 50 years ago didn't.

'Personally, I go to great lengths to be as sure as I can be that anyone I employ is neither trafficked nor a slave.'

Well exactly and people can go to great lengths to make sure any adult content they view features those neither trafficked nor slaves. Ethical porn. Google it.

Again, this view that all those in the adult entertainment industry are raped or trafficked is just bollocks.

You may not like it, that is fine just move along and stop lecturing people. To be clear I'm not a fan but as long as it doesn't interfere with relationships I could not give a rat's ass what grown adults do in their spare time as long as its legal.

@Janiie "Well exactly and people can go to great lengths to make sure any adult content they view features those neither trafficked nor slaves. Ethical porn. Google it."

Do you genuinely think the average porn used does this?🤣🤣

I don’t think that Pornhub has an ‘ethical porn’ category.

It’s not as simple as saying not all girls are raped or trafficked. There is so much evidence that girls are coerced across the board. Read an interview with any current porn actress and they’ll tell you that they love it, it’s empowering etc. Read an interview with any ex porn actress and they’ll tell you the truth - that they were forced to pretend they loved it and they hated every second of it.

Most are women who suffered extreme trauma and usually childhood sexual abuse. They are not loving it. Porn manufacturers employ doctors on sets to sew up women’s torn vaginas and anuses. Do you think women love that? They’ll tell you about how they’ll state their boundaries (e.g. no violence) but once they’re shooting those go out the window and they’re forced to tolerate it because they’re scared they won’t get paid or get more work. Many more have such profound mental health problems or addictions that they don’t really have the mental capacity to consent.

It is a truly horrendous industry, and not just for those poor actresses but for women who have to suffer the consequences. Domestic abuse charities are reporting a massive rise in 18-21 year old girls seeking their help. They’ve never been used to dealing with girls so young before, but now this age group are routinely reporting being beaten and choked during sex. Charities are attributing this solely to internet porn. Boys are learning that violent sex is ‘normal’.

Everyone needs educating about porn. Not just boys. Reading the views of women on here is so disappointing. I don’t know whether it’s just ignorance or whether a huge number of women truly don’t care about the suffering of others and justify it by telling themselves that they’re well paid for it, so that they can keep wanking without guilt.

The porn threads on this site are always hilariously puritan. I should probably feel a bit sorry for all the insecure people out there.

A romance novel doesn’t have real naked bodies having sex though. Who has been exploited, abused or trafficked in a Mills and Boon book?! 😂

It is not comparable.

If a man wants to wank himself silly to porn, then he had better pick someone ok with that and be open about it then. Because many women find it a huge turn off to be with a man with zero self control that priorities his ‘entitlement’ to porn over the shady ethics involved, and the impact on their relationship (porn is linked to 56% of divorces).

This is not about insecurity, it’s about respect and viewing women as people.

This reminds me of the eating meat debate

Insecure?!

That is typical gaslighting talk from men who think we should have our boundaries trampled over and cool pick me women.

Porn isn't healthy. The fact that it is now readily available on your phone is fucking up the lives of many a young man. What is expected sexually of young women and older women getting in to new relationships, is HORRIFIC.
He watches porn though OP. You can't police it. Just hope he doesn't start looking for darker stuff to get that fix. It's tragic.

This is really sad. I think its far more insecure to sit wanking in dark room watching porn on your phone. Yes, there's couples porn etc but it's largely boys and men who are increasingly letting it take over their lives.
It's just so bleak.

@Coshei "The porn threads on this site are always hilariously puritan. I should probably feel a bit sorry for all the insecure people out there."

The mistake you are making is thinking a wish to avoid exploitation of women has anything to do with sex or masturbation.