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Relationships

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How long had you known your DP/DH before having sex?

165 replies

strawberrysea · 10/12/2023 07:44

Inspired by another thread where a commenter suggested refusing to have sex until marriage in order to filter men who were serious about marriage and relationships.

I'd known DP for about two hours 😳 hadn't conducted myself in that way previously, but we've been together for nearly six years now!

In the past I'd waited months before beginning a sexual relationship with a partner and still got binned in the coming days/weeks and so I'm of the mind that if a man wants a woman just for sex he's usually prepared to wait it out, which is obviously horrible behaviour.

Obligatory 'not a journalist' disclaimer.

OP posts:
WDTABNONONO · 10/12/2023 19:33

3 sexual partners.

I knew them all before dating them

Fknown each of them over a year though.

MsClarice · 10/12/2023 19:45

First date, still together and married 15 years.

Whisperingangel1 · 10/12/2023 21:22

As I posted before - sex on first date. I'd had a fair bit to drink but really wanted to have sex. I wonder how many of the other posters who said first time also had a few drinks, wonder if that influenced their decision. I do think chemistry and sex are so important and I think if you're in to someone you naturally want to rip their clothes off.

Sdpbody · 10/12/2023 22:25

3 hours 😂

mindutopia · 10/12/2023 22:32

Actually known him, maybe about 10 weeks, dating for maybe 6 weeks. Generally I had a 3rd date rule, but this was the first relationship I ever had where there was no rush and we actually really got to know each other first.

Ageingisaprivilegedeniedtomany · 10/12/2023 22:32

I just don't get this thing of wanting to take everything off and do something so intimate (both men and women) with a complete stranger? Someone you met a few hours ago? You don't know anything about this person tbh. Why not at least get to know them a bit first?

frostythesnowman6 · 10/12/2023 22:37

2 and a half years. We waited until we were married before having sex (this was only 4 years ago, not the old days!).

We also were both virgins before marriage. I'm very glad we did it that way. Saved a lot of heartache, confusion and regret. I always knew I wanted to be sure the person was completely committed to me, for life, before making myself so vulnerable with them. Also, sex blinds you to whether or not the relationship is actually healthy. You can see clearer when you don't yet have a chemical bond with the person.

SamW98 · 10/12/2023 22:40

Ageingisaprivilegedeniedtomany · 10/12/2023 22:32

I just don't get this thing of wanting to take everything off and do something so intimate (both men and women) with a complete stranger? Someone you met a few hours ago? You don't know anything about this person tbh. Why not at least get to know them a bit first?

That’s how I am. I don’t get that instant lust. I need to build an emotional connection first before I can even kiss someone, let alone have sex.
Every relationship I’ve had has been a slow burn. I’ve never had that instant attraction to someone I’ve only just met.

PermanentTemporary · 10/12/2023 22:41

3 days? 2nd date and I'd met him on OLD though we'd had some video calls prior. It would have been the first date but that was extremely public.

@Ageingisaprivilegedeniedtomany I just really, really like sex. I'd rather have sex than do most other things tbh.

IWishIWasABaller · 10/12/2023 22:41

About 2 hours ! Still together 20 years later

Wallywobbles · 10/12/2023 22:47

I had him naked in under 10 minutes! I hadn't had sex in 6 years and was very very horny! Coming up for 10 years now.

mambojambodothetango · 10/12/2023 22:48

Met for the first time one Saturday, met up again the following Friday and had sex that night. So, a week but only second time of meeting.

Ageingisaprivilegedeniedtomany · 10/12/2023 22:50

Right, ok, we get it! The minute you met him you practically skinned him and everything worked out so perfectly and you were married 3 days later, brilliant! Enough already

TragicMuse · 10/12/2023 22:50

Musiclover234 · 10/12/2023 07:49

We had met online spoke on the phone etc for a while, so the night we met in person. Still together 12,5 years later

That's us too, except it's coming up to 18 years!

CrackersCheeseAndWinePlease · 10/12/2023 22:52

Squidwardthesnail · 10/12/2023 08:43

We met online and talked a lot for two weeks. But the night we met in person I think it took about 4 hours.. 5 years and 2 kids later and still together

Same here, we've been together 12 years now

CrackersCheeseAndWinePlease · 10/12/2023 22:54

Quoted wrong post 🤦‍♀️
We met online and spoke by phone text and FaceTime for about a year, met up and slept together that day. That was 12 years ago been together ever since with a dd who's 8

SgtJuneAckland · 10/12/2023 22:55

14 years.....
I'm not chaste, we were 11 when we met, and friends when we had sex the first time not even in a relationship

Isthisblocked · 10/12/2023 22:59

Same here…. About 3 hours, married 40 years…never could imagine I’d do such a thing but it was ….well…. Like a force, a destiny….sounds daft but there you are

Rainbowshit · 10/12/2023 23:04

Probably not even 2 hours 😊. Been together for 28 years. Married for 22.

Letsrunabath · 10/12/2023 23:09

2 weeks. We’ve jus celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary and have been blessed a happy marriage.

LadyWiddiothethird · 10/12/2023 23:09

First day I met him,that was in 1971,we were together until he died in 1997.

Letsrunabath · 10/12/2023 23:18

So many people posting if positive relationships. Makes me very happy.

vdbfamily · 10/12/2023 23:20

Met online,dated for 5 months when he then proposed, married 4 months later and had sex first time on wedding night. I returned from honeymoon pregnant . That was 22 years ago. Neither of us has ever been with anyone else.

Sonolanona · 11/12/2023 00:17

About 5 hours... holiday fling. That was one fabulous holiday!!!
Been married for 33 years now Grin

wildwestpioneer · 11/12/2023 00:33

2nd date