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Original poster

How long had you known your DP/DH before having sex?

165 replies

strawberrysea · 10/12/2023 07:44

Inspired by another thread where a commenter suggested refusing to have sex until marriage in order to filter men who were serious about marriage and relationships.

I'd known DP for about two hours 😳 hadn't conducted myself in that way previously, but we've been together for nearly six years now!

In the past I'd waited months before beginning a sexual relationship with a partner and still got binned in the coming days/weeks and so I'm of the mind that if a man wants a woman just for sex he's usually prepared to wait it out, which is obviously horrible behaviour.

Obligatory 'not a journalist' disclaimer.

OP posts:
AllProperTeaIsTheft · 10/12/2023 08:37

2nd date. But we had known each other for a couple of months as we were colleagues.

LentilFaculties · 10/12/2023 08:37

48 hours. The luxury of meeting in early 20s was not having to care about long term plans. I chose him for his looks, but he turned out to be incredible all round.

OneCup · 10/12/2023 08:41

5 years

mondaytosunday · 10/12/2023 08:41

Second date, so while I had first (blind) date two weeks previously it's only a technicality that I knew him for two weeks.
My girlfriend slept with her husband of 30 years the first night she met him. I don't think there's much correlation between how long you wait and successful relationships- people tend to sleep with new partners after the same amount of time and eventually one just sticks.

Squidwardthesnail · 10/12/2023 08:43

We met online and talked a lot for two weeks. But the night we met in person I think it took about 4 hours.. 5 years and 2 kids later and still together

5PurpleDinosaurs · 10/12/2023 08:43

Second date here too! I always say i stayed over on the second date and never left- 20 years now.

We were both on the rebound too.

Happiest 20 years of my life.

mnahmnah · 10/12/2023 08:44

Our first date. Been together 16 years, married 12, two DC. I’m usually embarrassed about it but after seeing so many others here did the same, I feel much better!

Desecratedcoconut · 10/12/2023 08:47

About two weeks. Got married 18 months later. Been married 21 years now.

CyberCritical · 10/12/2023 08:56

Known him about 6 months, dated for about 3 months but I was 16 at the time. We've been together 23 years now, married 17.

Cornwallsummer · 10/12/2023 08:56

Worked together for a year, kissed on a night out had sex about a month later

barbarahunter · 10/12/2023 08:58

A couple of days.

Ewoklady · 10/12/2023 09:04

dh is practising catholic so I’d say he would have waited but I didn’t want to. To be honest it nearly broke us up. About 10 months I think we did and were engaged very soon after. It kind spoiled the sparkly part to the start of the relationship and still annoys me. I am catholic too but I hate that his parents effectively brainwashed him (they are very old and very traditional)

anyway - in some respects I think we married soon about and still married nearly 15 years later.

Ewoklady · 10/12/2023 09:05

Sorry I meant to say in some respects it was a good think- we got to know each litter as solid friends

Matildahoney · 10/12/2023 09:07

We'd spoken for about 1.5 weeks, met up briefly for a coffee for an hour the first time as we really wanted to meet but we're both really busy, went for dinner the following week and back to his. Together 5 years, living together, baby on the way. No regrets here either.

CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 10/12/2023 09:08

A few hours. But that wasn't particularly out of character for me.

SheIsStuck23 · 10/12/2023 09:09

We met via OLD and we had our first date about 3 days after we first messaged each other.

We had sex after our 6/7th date, it was about a month after we first met anyway.

DixonD · 10/12/2023 09:09

I went to school with his brother so I’d known him for 15 years. We were together for two weeks before we had sex.

Gettingbysomehow · 10/12/2023 09:11

8 hours. But we were then married for 20 years.

Hibernatalie · 10/12/2023 09:11

Dating for 3 months. I know plenty of married couples who had sex on the first night though, I don't think there's a right or wrong.

turkeyboots · 10/12/2023 09:12

We never dated. Dh was a friend of my ex so we knew each other. I dumped the ex, bumped into now DH in a pub that night and had sex about 2 hours later.
That was 25 years ago this year.

Ladyof2022 · 10/12/2023 09:14

Not me but I just wanted to add This Cute story to The Thread. I set my best friend up on a blind date with a man I knew. They met at lunchtime for a meal then went on to a pub and then went on to her place. They had sex that evening and he did not go home and in the end he never slept in his own home ever again. They have now been together for 30 years

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 10/12/2023 09:38

A out 3 hours? Together 28 years now, feels like it was yesterday !

Bales23 · 10/12/2023 09:39

Ewoklady · 10/12/2023 09:04

dh is practising catholic so I’d say he would have waited but I didn’t want to. To be honest it nearly broke us up. About 10 months I think we did and were engaged very soon after. It kind spoiled the sparkly part to the start of the relationship and still annoys me. I am catholic too but I hate that his parents effectively brainwashed him (they are very old and very traditional)

anyway - in some respects I think we married soon about and still married nearly 15 years later.

Just because someone believes in waiting for marriage to have sex doesn't mean they are "brainwashed, very old and traditional." It's just what they believe.

In the same way, you wouldn't want to be labelled a slot for happening to want sex as soon as you wanted it.

InfamousPartyAnimal · 10/12/2023 09:39

Met him in the pub on a Saturday night, spent a few hours with him.
Arranged a date at his house (I know!) for the following Wednesday (did the deed) and have been together for 20 years now.

Bales23 · 10/12/2023 09:40

Slut - not slot.