Dating Thread 244

[SamW98]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@NervesOfCotton

Well he sounds a real catch 🤣🤣

Wonder how successful that approach is 🤷‍♀️

Big dick energy usually means small dick physique, but with a disproportionately large ego.

Thank you, I've unmatched just in case!!

I do wonder who would swipe on BDE or anyone blatantly saying 'DOM' or similar. I mean, wouldnt they be better off somewhere like Feeld?

Loopylooni I think they try it on any dating site just in case they get lucky.

SamW98 It's definitely a different way to go about it!

Today's profile gem was "I'm gentleman but I'll still pull your hair"

What woman would be attracted to a statement like that???

The one I’ve seen a few times is I’m a gentleman. I’ll hold the door open but I’ll smack your arse as you walk through’

🙄

Oh that one is very popular. Seen it lots.

@DippingAToeIn I'd say a really dimwitted woman would be!

But, do these men get any matches? If not, then surely they would think maybe I need to change something 🤷‍♀️

Some of these are just mad - how on earth do they think a woman will read them and think ‘what a keeper, must message straight away!’😂🙄😳

The other one I’ve seen a million times - if you don’t look like your photos you’re buying the drinks til you do.

Hilarious mate - immediate swipe left

Had a chat to the guy I had a date with on Sunday last night all going well, arranged to meet up on Friday evening.

Got this message this evening... You’re lovely. And it’s for that reason I can’t go any further. I’m a mess, I’ve so many issues atm.
I’ll drag you down I know I will. And you don’t deserve that.
I hope you’ve had a lovely evening xx

He has unmatched me on bumble and so I guess that's that....almost 2000 messages between us and almost 10 hours on the phone in the last 2 weeks.....confused is the word I am currently using to describe myself right now!!

Maybe some women just swipe for the photo and don't read the profile? I can't work it out!

Also, is there a polite way to ask which of your pictures you look like 😂 I'm not a fan of beard for example, but if men have pictures of them with and without beard, it's like who are you?

I'm sorry. Even if it's only been a very short time, it can still really sting when you get dumped out of the blue like that.

My only advice for next time is to cool it on the messages and calls... 2,000 messages in a fortnight is insane! I worked out that's a message roughly every 10 minutes on average - day and night 24/7, for 2 weeks... That's insane!

Sorry to hear that and I hope you’re ok. Maybe it was all too intense for him?

All I would give as advice is try not to get invested too quickly in future.

Read the OP of this thread - it’s good advice we’ve all discovered from experience.

@2anddone personally the best advice I've heard is when someone tells you who they are, listen. So I'd say just move on instead of trying to work it out/change his mind. I think also with men, if they like you, they want to lock things down ASAP and get you off the market. The fact that he doesnt makes me think he's not telling the truth (maybe married or has another date etc). Im a bit cynical I guess but I've always second guessed/given the benefit ot the doubt before and it's never worked out.

100% I'm also guilty of second guessing and giving the benefit of the doubt far too much and I should just trust my gut
When my colleague lead me on for 4 months, got me into bed and then dropped me he said 'I told you I was an arsehole'
Like wow

Aww 2anddone I'm so sorry that it ended like that

Use this space to vent, go through the 'What ifs' if you need to. None of us ever know why people behave like this (& sadly it is common) they get the first date or 2 done, all intense with the messaging like 'Love bombing' & then drop... It's easy to get sucked in when it's all intense & lovely, & then It's horrible... I hope you are doing ok today.x

Thanks everyone, just wanted to clarify that all of those texts weren't from me...I am not a crazed stalker type!!
Not going to lie I am going to miss the texts and chat...I never really expected it to go anywhere he was wildly different from my usual type but we got on so well I hoped it might grow from that.
Not completely sure I am ready for this OLD thing if I am honest. I gave deleted my account and app for a couple if weeks and then I might try again....I have a couple of really busy weeks coming up so don't want to match with someone and then not actually have time to meet them!!

Thanks @NervesOfCotton it's all a bit shit isn't it!
Not going to lie it took a hell of a lot to join any sort of OLD my ex was a financial and emotional abuser and even though we separated 10 years ago I am still scared of him!
Taking myself off for a couple of weeks to give myself some headspace

Hi 2anddone I'm glad you are ok. I hear you, My ex was abusive in every way apart from physical, it's been 7 years for me & it's still tough sometimes.

Take the time that you need, OLD is absolutely brutal!

@2anddone I’m sorry. It’s a headf@ck. Almost the exact same thing happened to me (you’re not in Essex) and as everyone says, it’s pretty common. I absolutely called mine out on his BS response - get off online dating if you’re a mess mate. Although that seems to be the cowardly it’s not you it me response. And it is them. They should be held acc(o)untable annd then forgotten. Also, it’s right to believe them the first time.

I think you just need to ask which is the most latest.

i had the same when was on OLD, some women used pictures that were professional taken ( very nice), but the reality was they didn’t really look like that