Dating Thread 244

[SamW98]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@2anddone

I think you're seriously overthinking and over investing given you matched only 8 days ago. Saying that you're worried that you might be friend-zoning each other concerns me. After such a short time and having not yet met, it's not wise to be anything other than friendly, rather than rushing into sexual territory and trying to hurry things to a more intimate level before you've even met!

@2anddone

This is what concerns me I want to meet before either if us go off the boil, have to keep telling myself it's only been 8 days since we matched as feels so much longer and have talked almost every day for up to 2 hours at a time!

You're setting yourself up for a lot of OLD heartache is you let yourself "get to the boil" before you've even met! I know from my own experience when I first started OLD, and I was like this with the first person I matched with... Let things gently warm up whilst chatting... heat up further if the first date goes well, and let things get to boil after a few dates when things are progressing well!

Thank you for the advice
Single 10 years never done OLD and can't believe how well we get on (plus deep down have bad self esteem issues so couldn't believe someone would want to match with me in the first place!)....I will stop over thinking, stop trying to rush things and go with the flow!
Love this thread and all the advice on here so pleased I have found it

2anddone

fwiw when i started OLD i
embarked upon a 6 month texting thing with a man overseas
I was infatuated 🥰

madness looking back

but keep that self esteem high
I know it’s all very heady and you havnt felt like this for a while
but don’t forget that you have to meet him !

although some of our messages have definitely not been in the friend zone!

I would just say from experience be careful about sexual chat (if that’s what you mean) before meeting as generally there seen as OLD code for ‘up for no strings sex’

Absolutely fine if that’s something you’re comfortable but if you’re not it’s just a little heads up that many of us discovered to our cost.

I think most of us in our early OLD days possibly got attached too quickly to someone before stepping back slightly and learning ‘the game’ so to speak.

I've been there with getting too invested in something too soon. It hasn't worked out well so far!

Another one guilty of getting too invested too soon. Was on dating apps about 9/10 years ago and then met my (now ex husband). In hindsight we moved along too quickly, but we were married for 7 years before he had an affair earlier this year. He didn’t tell me about some of his past behaviours until we were married so I am definitely taking it all slow this time round!

i fine ( found) that teacher would sometimes retreat into her cave ( woman 👩) mode when things got on top of her and she would stop communicating completely

give him some time, then try reaching out , worked for me at least

I reactivated my profile last night to have a gander. This sentence gave me all of the feels on someone’s profile “One of my favourite things is to eat pizza in bed but that’s not the only thing I like to eat there.”

🤢

Does he mean toast by any chance? 🤔

@NoDatingFor0ldMen
Thank you. He messaged a little bit more yesterday, so I haven't completely given up hope.

Good to hear you and Ms Teacher are still together and working through things. 🤞for you both.

I mean eating in bed is a little grim at times, toast I could cope with, pizza not so much 🙈

There waa a guy way back when I started on the apps and for one reason and another we never met, have spoken on the phone once or twice. Each time I re-joined we would always match and have a chat. Anyway we joked how we are past the point of meeting for a date and as we are both child free tonight we are off to IKEA 😂

LittleFloatingGhost Don't knock eating in bed! I was in bed at 8.30 last night, snuggled up eating Haribo & Minstrels
(It's bloody freezing here. - 4 on the school run this morning)

That sounds great- hope it goes well!

@NervesOfCotton 😂😂😂 that I can do, a full on cheesy meal is a no! Also very jealous!

Was freezing here yesterday and not much better today!

I was thinking how great it would be for a dating thread meet up. Bet it would be a right giggle given the chats we have on here!

Er, you do all get what the eating in bed was refering to really, don't you.?

Adateworsethandeath Yes Just making light of it.

LittleFloatingGhost

oh I’d love an ikea date
that’s not even a joke ! Whatever happens no time is wasted hey ? And some meatballs at the end

Whatever does he mean?

@Adateworsethandeath No, what else would he eat…?! 😜😂

IKEA isn’t a date (thankfully) and I am going solo now. He said he wasn’t sure now what time work would finish and haven’t heard from him since.

You’re right though, lets start having dates where we get shit done! 💯

@LittleFloatingGhost ah shame he’s cancelled but I love The idea!

Ive just agreed to go and meet up with a bloke I’ve been chatting to - just coffee, phew! But I am now mad panicking about what to wear, I haven’t been on a first date for nearly 9 years 😳😂

I had a really nice date where we painted my son's bedroom. Dates for getting shit done are very rewarding! I hope you have fun at Ikea @LittleFloatingGhost

How many dates in was that? Presumably not a first date! 😂

I wondered that too @harerunner unless he was a decorator by trade and trying to impress 🤣

😂 @harerunner it was third or fourth and he was not a decorator - he hated decorating so it was actually very sweet of him. I miss him.