Dating Thread 244

[SamW98]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Urrrgh 😫 there's a question prompt you can put on your Bumble profile which is "If I could only eat one meal for the rest of my life it would be..." and a frightening number of men have put 'you, my love' 😂😂 there's someone out there for everyone!!

I'm on Bumble. Talking of profiles a word that puts me right off is 'tactile'. I imagine some irritating fucker who keeps fiddling with your hair or something all the time, or Mr Gropey. Is that just me? Do other women think that 'tactile' sounds good?

'Tactile' sounds like something you'd put on some shitty rubber sensory toy you were trying to make sound impressive. I do not like it for human beings. I like 'affectionate'.

I had a date with a horribly touchy-feely man from Bumble, on his profile he said 'Affectionate' but on the date he said 'I'm very Tactile'. So when I see either on profiles now, it makes me wary!

Yep tactile always makes me think he’s a groper who can’t keep his hands to himself. And if you try and stop him shoving his hands uninvited into your bra, he’ll whine ‘I told you I was tactile you knew what to expect’

Oh I’ve seen that response but in far more graphic wording 🤢

Tactile, affectionate, dom, extroverted introvert -- wow

"You can't choose your Father but you can pick your Daddy" 🤦‍♀️

Some people will just use any excuse to grab nice things!

*WeveGotThis

cassia twenty Ugh.

There was one the other day who looked liked he'd answered a completely made up question, & the answer didn't make sense either. Had me scratching my head! It was

'Favorite quality in a person?'
& they'd put 'The cupboard in the airing cupboard'

I matched with a bloke on bumble who had a hint question - ask me my funniest dating story.

So I did and his response was he’d had a date once and the woman was as really big so he told her he had left his wallet in the car, then drove off and left her there and he thought that was hilarious.

I replied that’s not funny and it’s actually really cruel and he replied ‘bet you’re only saying that coz you’re probably fat as well lol

Yep he got immediately unmatched

Will be re-writing my profile as used “tactile”! Mr Beer was massively hands off, but I like holding hands, snuggling on the sofa and PDAs at times 😂

LittleFloatingGhost
I love holding hands too.

Nothing going on for me on the Free site or Bumble. They were both busy for me after Christmas, but now, Tumbleweed

Just to add my bit, I’m off apps after the disappointment of too-far-away guy (my gut still doesn’t quite believe that was the real reason)… I went on a rare night OUT OUT on Friday and immediately hit it off with someone I met through a friend. Not sure it’s going anywhere, but was nice to know that can still happen IRL. For context, I did meet the father of my child and partner if 8 years on eHarmony back in the day (2011) and also had a 1.5 year relationship (albeit an absolutely mental one) with someone I met on Bumble. There has also been multiple ghostings, being unwittingly used for sex by one for a while, made a good friend or two and a few other good “anecdotes”…. But the last guy kind of broke my heart. My fault but I really thought it was IT.

Hmmm back from date 2 with Mr S. Decisions decisions. I like him, we have a lot in common, good conversation but I just don't fancy him. Although we did have a sweet kiss goodbye so maybe that could develop.

But there's a couple of things that make me think he's about 10 years older than he claims., and it's the dishonesty that would bother me more than the age.
Do I just ask him outright? Can I ask to see his driving license? 😁

@Adateworsethandeath it was worth having a second date so you can make an informed decision.

Attraction is a biggie and if you’re not attracted to him then I would tell him you don’t see it going anywhere.

The lying is a huge thing and a red flashing flag.

@Adateworsethandeath I would be the same as you and more concerned about the lying than anything else!

I am meeting the man I have been talking to for the last couple of weeks today for a coffee. We get on really well over the phone and via text but will it translate to real life...who can say!!

Taking the advice of you lovely people on here and just going with the flow and not getting too invested.

Meeting about a half hour drive from my town...it's a middle point between our houses can almost guarantee I will still bump into someone I know 🙄🤦‍♀️

Will report back later, supposed to be meeting at 11 for about an hour or so, therefore not too long if it doesn't feel right!

2anddone I hope it goes well today.

@Adateworsethandeath

If you’re not attracted to him then I don’t see point in continuing tbh. And lying is an absolute deal breaker for me so I would just ask outright. Is there anything specific that has given you suspicion?

I went on a date with a guy who said he was 53 but then mentioned his 60th birthday as next year. I pulled him up straight away and he said his age on the dating site must be a typo but his username was (his name)1970 so was that a typo too? 🤷‍♀️

@2anddone

Good luck and make sure you report back

Hi all, I'm a long time lurker and have name changed for my posts on this thread.
I am separated from my husband but we are cohabiting while the divorce goes through which is likely to take a long time. After a slightly miserable sex life for 20 years I've had a bit of a sexual awakening and I'm interested in maybe some kind of casual relationship... I've read quite a few threads about it on here and have deduced that I shouldn't mention that I'm looking for something casual in my profile, but I should be up front about it (and my cohabiting situation) when chatting to any match...?

Out of respect for my STBXDH I was planning to be discreet and not mention what I'm doing. I'm very aware that if a guy was in my situation I'd probably assume he was still married and spinning me a story!

If I'm honest about everything do you think this is something I can pursue? Any tips/advice?

Thank you

Just said bye we were together 2 hours.

Not made plans to meet again but said he would call me later. We got on really well laughed lots didn’t feel as easy as on phone and text but think it’s because it felt odd to actually be there in person (was my first date in 10 years!)!! Jury currently out but I would definitely go out with him again if he asks.

I've made my mind up.

Friends only (I would like that as he's good company and we both enjoy doing stuff that my mates aren't interested in) or nothing. For a few reasons.

I've tried saying that in the past though and the man obviously hoped to win me over, so I had to bring a complete end to it. I guess it's hard to understand why someone could really like you but not want to date you. They want reasons and I can't say, in this case, it's mainly because you look like a taller version of Gollum and my fanny shrivels up.

@2anddone

Glad to hear it went well. Personally I would drop him a message just saying you had a good time and be nice to meet up again. Then see how he responds x

@Adateworsethandeath

I would just say to him that you had a really time and you got on really well but you don’t feel a spark so would prefer to just he friends. Honesty is the best way

2anddone That's a good update! I'm glad that it went well for you.