Dating Thread 244

[SamW98]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Why would you self sabotage yourself like that? 🤦‍♀️

After a break of five years I’ve decided to give OLD another chance. Im not convinced that a lot will come of it but we’ll see.

Simonfourfingers is enough for me to get back on those apps!! 😂😂😂😂😂

Well a brief update from one of the male contributors again.

Going strong with my girlfriend, whom I met on Bumble last autumn.

I had become very jaded about OLD, and ultimately pretty emotionally self-sufficient.

I really feel i’ve met the love of my life. I feel, that she feels the same way.

We’ve got complicated lives, not Instagram lives, and we support each other in all the right ways. And things get better each time we meet.

Keep going, when you least expect it you may well find the person you barely hoped even existed.

I’ve matched with and spoken to 30 guys in past few weeks. None are asking me out. I’ll get hundreds of likes every day but they’re all looking for casual or ‘don’t know’. I’ve been on 8 dates in past 6 months - despite claiming they’re looking for relationships, clearly all looking for a shag.

how am I going to meet someone?

@Thatsthebottomline Ive been on Bumble for about 24 hours and it’s very entertaining. If nothing else, last night I went to bed laughing for the first time since I found out about my husband’s affair. Good luck!

@LabradorOwner9 that’s a fab update!

@GoingToBeLessRubbishAtLife I had to check it twice - I mean … why?!!

@LittleFloatingGhost 🤣🤣

How are you all getting so many matches? I don’t get many at all.

Maybe I’m not as attractive as my dimly candlelit mirror tells me 😆.

I match with loads but it doesn’t turn into many dates GoingToBeLessRubbishAtLife

Same. I’ve had so many matches, quite a few chats and 6 bloody dates in a year!! Some seem to get that many a week

I don’t get it 🤷‍♀️ SamW98

What apps are you all on? Which one do you feel you get the best matches and dates on? I’m in my 50s if that makes a difference.

And when do you think it’ll pick up after the Christmas slump?

I’ve dipped my toe into Bumble for the first time in the last few days. If nothing else it’s entertainment!

GoingToBeLessRubbishAtLife I'm on Bumble & just a free one called Free dating, but I've not spoken to anybody decent on there for months.

Bumble suddenly got busy for me right after Christmas but that's all tailed off now (they were mostly after sex)

I feel a bit stuck tbh. I can't MAKE (non-sex obsessed) men want to match with me & they just don't seem to want to right now

I'm not fussed right now anyway, my first date of choice is a walk & whilst a crisp, cool day is lovely for that, shivering my arse off (like I was today) is not ideal

I got onto Bumble as well. Men are not very good with their profiles 🙈 also, what does sex positivety even mean!

😂😂

I asked one of them what it meant once - he replied ‘I’m hot stuff in the sack baby’

Yep I unmatched 🤣

Such an ick 🤢

SamW98 Oh I asked one once & he said he hoped we'd hit it off in the sack. Thought that was a given tbh. I mean, nobody ever thinks 'This new guy seems great but I really hope that the sex is shit, that will just make it perfect'.

Same as 'No drama'. Nobody is ever gonna say 'I hope you have a whole load of drama going on, as I just need some in my life'.

Both of those, I swipe past.

I always see ‘no drama’ as ‘tolerates my BS and crap behaviour without calling me out’

And I always get the ick when they call themselves old school gents - that screams misogynistic sexist who thinks women should know their place to me.

Im off then at mo as I just got so bored. Might have a glance in a couple of months see if there anyone out there for springtime

Yeah I always think no drama is more to do with them than us!

So three dates in with The Gardener. Going well but I'm not sure we have enough in common. We don't listen to the same music, watch the same films and he doesn't really read. On the plus side, we have the same views on bigger stuff but I'm still getting my usual 3 date itch where I put pressure on myself to make a decision either way.

Doesn't help I'm still thinking about the Sexy Shepherd a lot. But last heard from him Xmas eve and doesn't look like he even read my last message 😔 so he's obviously not thinking about me.

TooManyAnimals Be kind to yourself.

I sometimes ask them (just out of morbid curiosity really) & have replies like 'Don't wanna get involved with your kids/don't wanna talk to anybody with a crazy ex'.

It's 'I'm a laid back kinda guy' that means 'Whenever there's a problem I won't let you talk things out, I'll just remind you that I'm a laid back guy, & like to let things go, just to keep you quiet'. (To me, anyway! Reminds me of my ex!)

I think sometimes we blokes put these little cliches in, as we are trying to “say the right thing”, or what we think be right thing is. So second guessing.

Not always of course.

I had aseries of dates where the concept of paying on the first date was really not welcomed AT ALL.

So I alluded to this in my profile and then on a date, where I really, really liked her, gently suggested splitting the bill for coffee and cake, she reacted very, very angrily.

i guess the lesson is, be yourself, be kind, don’t be cringe, don’t be creepy.