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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband hasn’t come home!

698 replies

Worried00 · 07/09/2023 05:20

My husband went to play darts last night as he does every Wednesday. I’ve woken up at 4.30am and he isn’t home!!!
I’ve tried calling him and WhatsApping him- no answer and no reply. He hasn’t read my messages.
his darts team are his old work mates who I have no contact information for.
im worried sick. What do I do!? Do I call the police? Do I call hospitals !? Help, I feel sick

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Lwrenagain · 07/09/2023 08:05

No advice but sending some love, hope he returns soon 💐

whereismysleep · 07/09/2023 08:06

Here's the Google Timeline (i.e. location history) link: https://timeline.google.com/

It may show you where he is.

If you click on it on a device he's logged into google on, it will tell you where he's been, if he has location settings on, on his phone.

If hes not logged into Google, open Chrom broser and try to open Gmail, if he has an account - it may have his details saved on the device even if you don't know them.

Or, if you know his google password (will be the same as Gmail password if he uses it) then you can do this from any device.

Sign in - Google Accounts

https://timeline.google.com

ScarlettDarling · 07/09/2023 08:06

Ring work and tell them you have a family emergency, will be in as soon as possible and will keep them informed. I wouldn’t start explaining about cars and insurance, surely even if you had the car you’d not be able to focus on work when you don’t know where your husband is.
Im sure he’ll turn up soon though. I’ve seen hundreds of these threads over the years on Mumsnet and they all turn out fine in the end.
Hope you’re ok, I know you must be frantic.

whereismysleep · 07/09/2023 08:06

whereismysleep · 07/09/2023 08:06

Here's the Google Timeline (i.e. location history) link: https://timeline.google.com/

It may show you where he is.

If you click on it on a device he's logged into google on, it will tell you where he's been, if he has location settings on, on his phone.

If hes not logged into Google, open Chrom broser and try to open Gmail, if he has an account - it may have his details saved on the device even if you don't know them.

Or, if you know his google password (will be the same as Gmail password if he uses it) then you can do this from any device.

That should say Chrome (not Chrom!)

Thriving30 · 07/09/2023 08:08

Depending on what he does for work he may just turn up there.. so it would be worth just giving them a ring as well, Ring a little bit after his start time, just ask is your partner there, if they say no he hasn't turned up, then you can go from there.

MsFrog · 07/09/2023 08:09

Definitely ring work and explained you can't come in! Just take his car to drop the kids off, it's only once. Then get home and decide the next steps. How stressful for you, OP! xx

HowcanIhelp123 · 07/09/2023 08:09

They probably started drinking and he's snoring away on one of their sofas and is in for a rude awakening later.

Check your car insurance - often as the main policy holder you're covered (though only third party) to drive any vehicle. As long as school isn't far just get the kids to school then figure out getting to work.

If you can check the pub car park for your car!

Nousernamesleftatall · 07/09/2023 08:10

What time does his old work open? Can you ring reception and ask to be put through to one of his friends from there?

Alwaysdecorating · 07/09/2023 08:11

Worried00 · 07/09/2023 07:38

I’ve called 101- he hasn’t been arrested and the car has not been involved in an accident that they know of.
I’ve called lots of hospitals and he isn’t in any of them!
I don’t know what to do or what to think.
i am meant to be leaving in half an hour to get the kids to school and go to work but he has my car! I’m not insured on his
i feel sick to my stomach

I don’t have any contact details for who he was out with last night

Can you call his work?

Bomba · 07/09/2023 08:12

"Can you ask someone to check if his car is still at the pub?"

And if not they may check their cctv for you

Chippy4me · 07/09/2023 08:12

Even if his phone had died he could have used a friends phone to call OP.

They may not have her number, especially if she doesn’t have theirs.

He may go straight to work and ring her from there if they have her number.

Loubelle70 · 07/09/2023 08:13

Nousernamesleftatall · 07/09/2023 08:10

What time does his old work open? Can you ring reception and ask to be put through to one of his friends from there?

Good idea x

Heyhoherewegoagain · 07/09/2023 08:15

JonjoMonjo21 · 07/09/2023 07:47

If u are fully comp you will be insured 3rd party on any other car. Have u tried any of his friends? Neighbours?

It’s not automatic to be covered now, you have to specify it in your policy- a lot of people are caught out with this and end up having their car seized by police S165 of the Road Traffic Act. OP doesn’t need this to add to her worries!

baytreelane23 · 07/09/2023 08:15

Is his phone still on/ ringing?

Can you just check his last online status on FB/ WhatsApp etc

How stressful for you, OP. 🥰

Heyhoherewegoagain · 07/09/2023 08:16

MsFrog · 07/09/2023 08:09

Definitely ring work and explained you can't come in! Just take his car to drop the kids off, it's only once. Then get home and decide the next steps. How stressful for you, OP! xx

Bad advice of the day right there 🙈

BorrowedThyme · 07/09/2023 08:16

catrescuelady · 07/09/2023 07:56

Even if his phone had died he could have used a friends phone to call OP.

Show quote history

only if he knows her number

HelpMeGetThrough · 07/09/2023 08:17

If u are fully comp you will be insured 3rd party on any other car.

Not automatically you won't

PickledPurplePickle · 07/09/2023 08:17

MsFrog · 07/09/2023 08:09

Definitely ring work and explained you can't come in! Just take his car to drop the kids off, it's only once. Then get home and decide the next steps. How stressful for you, OP! xx

Don't be ridiculous - it's only once doesn't mean it's legal or an accident won't happen - OP please ignore this

Mummapenguin20 · 07/09/2023 08:18

Hope he’s home soon op

Daniki · 07/09/2023 08:19

@Worried00 call work and say you have a family emergency, would the pub be open he was in last night as they may have contact details of other players?
Can you look at his WhatsApp and see if it shows his last active time?
Send kids to school as not to panic them.
You poor thing 😨

Posters saying he's a grown man etc--get a grip OP has every right to be worried!

2Hot2Handle · 07/09/2023 08:19

I’m so sorry, I hope he’s okay.

Could you phone the place where he played darts, to find out when he left? Or drive there to see if his car is still parked nearby?

BingandSulaandFlop · 07/09/2023 08:20

I'd go with ringing his work after his start time to see if he's there (try and make it as casual as you can).

I'd be worried too. Lots of people saying he's got drunk but to get so drunk when you're driving and have to be in work the next day? That's not normal.

Have you got any reason to think his mental health may be poor at the moment? Is he under any particular stress? (You don't need to go into detail)

EarringsandLipstick · 07/09/2023 08:20

I think checking the venue for the car is the most helpful thing you can do, once you get the kids sorted.

The most likely explanation still is that he is passed out on one of the guy's couches.

If the car is there, it gives some credence to that.

It's so worrying of course, until you know for sure.

ug66smn · 07/09/2023 08:21

removed

Loubelle70 · 07/09/2023 08:23

ug66smn · 07/09/2023 08:21

removed

Edited

OP will soon know if she knows pub he was in last night and contacts them♥️. Ive contacted pub early doors to see if i left my phone there and they answered.