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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband hasn’t come home!

698 replies

Worried00 · 07/09/2023 05:20

My husband went to play darts last night as he does every Wednesday. I’ve woken up at 4.30am and he isn’t home!!!
I’ve tried calling him and WhatsApping him- no answer and no reply. He hasn’t read my messages.
his darts team are his old work mates who I have no contact information for.
im worried sick. What do I do!? Do I call the police? Do I call hospitals !? Help, I feel sick

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
VisionsOfSplendour · 07/09/2023 07:47

I asune your children are primary aged, is it near enough for a taxi to be an option?

WimpoleHat · 07/09/2023 07:48

Don't drive an uninsured car.

Check your own car insurance - most of them cover you to drive any car on a third party insurance basis (for this sort of scenario, where you need to drive another car unexpectedly). This at least sorts your immediate transportation problem.

PickledPurplePickle · 07/09/2023 07:48

JonjoMonjo21 · 07/09/2023 07:47

If u are fully comp you will be insured 3rd party on any other car. Have u tried any of his friends? Neighbours?

This is not necessarily true, it depends on the policy

VisionsOfSplendour · 07/09/2023 07:49

PickledPurplePickle · 07/09/2023 07:42

Have you called his work to see if he's gone straight there?

Can you call the venue he was at last night and ask them if the car is still there

Is there anyone that can take the children to school for you this morning?

Id be more cross if he'd gone to work and made no effort to get in contact than staying out in the first place, that would be cruel

Mummumgem · 07/09/2023 07:50

I would get the kids to school, phone another mum to take them if need be. Then come home and phone work, then his work.

try calling the venue see if they can throw any light on it.

keep us updated 💐

costadelay · 07/09/2023 07:51

How far is the school? Can you walk or get a taxi just so the kids are off your hands for when he does show up?

I think an emergency day off work is called for here, they don't need to know the details.

I'm thinking he decided to drink, got drink and slept on a friend sofa or booked into a hotel rather than try to make his way home. He's probably sleeping it off and will turn up today feeling very fragile.

RagzRebooted · 07/09/2023 07:52

You may be insured, check your policy. Mine covers me to drive other vehicles. DH's doesn't as he has a van and it's business insurance, so he has to be named on mine.

Really hope your DH turns up soon and you get to give him a massive bollocking for worrying you (and all of us!).

costadelay · 07/09/2023 07:52

Mummumgem · 07/09/2023 07:50

I would get the kids to school, phone another mum to take them if need be. Then come home and phone work, then his work.

try calling the venue see if they can throw any light on it.

keep us updated 💐

Yes calling the venue is a good idea.

Greyfoot · 07/09/2023 07:53

Worried00 · 07/09/2023 07:38

I’ve called 101- he hasn’t been arrested and the car has not been involved in an accident that they know of.
I’ve called lots of hospitals and he isn’t in any of them!
I don’t know what to do or what to think.
i am meant to be leaving in half an hour to get the kids to school and go to work but he has my car! I’m not insured on his
i feel sick to my stomach

I don’t have any contact details for who he was out with last night

Get the children to school, by taxi if needed and call in sick/with personal issues. You're not going to be for to work.

Sadly he's probably fallen of the wagon and is sleeping it off somewhere. Hope you hear soon OP.

Custardslices · 07/09/2023 07:53

Call up the pub see what happened last night if car is still there, see if they know the people he was with.

I'd call up his work see if he's turned up.

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 07/09/2023 07:54

That is awful Op..

Getting the kids to school.is primary. Then call in sick and contact friends and family.

itsmyp4rty · 07/09/2023 07:54

I expect he's stayed at a mates, his phone died and will think it's all not a big deal. I'd be livid.

LovingMyLiver · 07/09/2023 07:55

Forget work OP you'd be in no fit state anyway. Go to the venue even if it's closed, there may be cleaners there who can contact the owners. Also - THIS is what social media can be good for x

Escalateandcreate · 07/09/2023 07:55

i think I’d get the kids to school somehow. Take the day off work and first stop would be the venue from last night, just to see if the car is there. I really hope he’s ended up at a friends house and has fallen asleep. Absolute bollocking to be had later.

shieldmaiden7 · 07/09/2023 07:55

OP you must be so worried. I hope it all turns out ok and he's just drank to much and crashed on a mates sofa.

nobodysdaughternow · 07/09/2023 07:55

Can you ask someone to check if his car is still at the pub?

catrescuelady · 07/09/2023 07:56

itsmyp4rty · 07/09/2023 07:54

I expect he's stayed at a mates, his phone died and will think it's all not a big deal. I'd be livid.

Even if his phone had died he could have used a friends phone to call OP.

FettleOfKish · 07/09/2023 07:59

I know exactly how you're feeling OP, so just offering a handhold.

Choccyoclocky · 07/09/2023 07:59

You can buy temporary insurance so I would get insured on his for now so you can get the kids to school and you to work.

Hopefully he turns up soon!

Kottontail · 07/09/2023 07:59

Thinking of you & hoping he is safe.

shzibssbns · 07/09/2023 08:00

You must be worried sick! I've had this a few times with my dp and he always turned up in the end. Could you contact any of his family/friends incase they heard from him last night at all

sezzer87 · 07/09/2023 08:01

WandaWonder · 07/09/2023 05:40

He is a grown up, sure something may have happened but more likely staying somewhere there is being concerned and treating him a like a child just carry on like normal

So you just randomly don't bother coming home to your family and that's perfectly fine ?

JoanOfAllTrades · 07/09/2023 08:02

@Worried00

Do you know where he usually plays darts? If so, call them.

Even if you don’t have contact details for the ex work colleagues that he plays darts with, he must surely have mentioned at least one person's name so do call the old workplace and ask to speak with anyone whose names you remember being mentioned previously.

Call your husband's work and check if he’s there, assuming he doesn’t need his uniform or something similar that he would have to come home for.

Lastly, call your work and be honest. Your manager is more likely to give you today as PTO then if you make up a lie which later catches you out because, let’s face it, with everything going on right now, you are likely to forget, or might even say something later on, which trips you and I do think it’s going to be worse if you lie and your manager knows you did. Especially when there’s no reason to lie since you’re naturally worried.

Thriving30 · 07/09/2023 08:04

Does his 'dart team' have social media at all. Maybe check his posts see if he's mentioned playing darts with anyone before. Then contact them say it's a long shot but wondering if they were there last night?

Alargeoneplease89 · 07/09/2023 08:05

Can you use social media to find any work colleagues? Or If anyone was at the darts last night?