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Original poster

Whose behavior is worse?

132 replies

karlaka · 09/08/2023 17:53

She scratches him in the back during sex. He gives her a slap on the cheek.

In your opinion, is he allowed to do that? Whose behavior is worse? Who is wrong here?

OP posts:
Incognito2023 · 09/08/2023 17:55

Slap on the cheek definitely worse.
scratch during sex needs a bit of context… playful, passionate or just nasty?

Cloudsandrainnotsunandsand · 09/08/2023 17:56

Any sort of rough sex should have boundaries discussed prior..

cruffinsmuffin · 09/08/2023 17:59

Not enough details to say tbh.

Original poster
karlaka · 09/08/2023 17:59

cruffinsmuffin · 09/08/2023 17:59

Not enough details to say tbh.

What info do you need?

OP posts:
Original poster
karlaka · 09/08/2023 18:00

Incognito2023 · 09/08/2023 17:55

Slap on the cheek definitely worse.
scratch during sex needs a bit of context… playful, passionate or just nasty?

Passionate

OP posts:
Sunnysummeragain · 09/08/2023 18:00

Is the scratching not consensual? If not the whole relationship is toxic. It shouldn’t be a question of winning who is worse but planning and taking action to have a good life.

Bogeyes · 09/08/2023 18:00

A slap is worse

Thelonelygiraffe · 09/08/2023 18:00

More context needed. Scratching during sex can be gentle.

Slapping on the face? During sex? Needs permission first.

Original poster
karlaka · 09/08/2023 18:02

Sunnysummeragain · 09/08/2023 18:00

Is the scratching not consensual? If not the whole relationship is toxic. It shouldn’t be a question of winning who is worse but planning and taking action to have a good life.

No it was spontaneous and not consensual

OP posts:
cruffinsmuffin · 09/08/2023 18:02

Is it consensual sex?

Is any sort of rough play during sex pre agreed? Was the back scratching causing physical pain? Is slapping part of regular consensual sex?

Was the slap retaliation for hurting him?

If the scratching wasn't pre agreed, consensual and caused pain it's not okay.

If the slap wasn't pre agreed, consensual and caused pain it's not okay.

Original poster
karlaka · 09/08/2023 18:02

Thelonelygiraffe · 09/08/2023 18:00

More context needed. Scratching during sex can be gentle.

Slapping on the face? During sex? Needs permission first.

Scratching was rather passionate (could have hurt a little)

OP posts:
Original poster
karlaka · 09/08/2023 18:03

cruffinsmuffin · 09/08/2023 18:02

Is it consensual sex?

Is any sort of rough play during sex pre agreed? Was the back scratching causing physical pain? Is slapping part of regular consensual sex?

Was the slap retaliation for hurting him?

If the scratching wasn't pre agreed, consensual and caused pain it's not okay.

If the slap wasn't pre agreed, consensual and caused pain it's not okay.

The scratching was not agreed. It was the second time having sex with this person. All reactions were spontaneous and impulsive.

OP posts:
cruffinsmuffin · 09/08/2023 18:04

@karlaka

Both as bad as each other imo then - both did something non consensual.

PoseyFlump · 09/08/2023 18:05

Was the slap with a cock or hand?

Original poster
karlaka · 09/08/2023 18:05

PoseyFlump · 09/08/2023 18:05

Was the slap with a cock or hand?

a hand

OP posts:
Original poster
karlaka · 09/08/2023 18:06

cruffinsmuffin · 09/08/2023 18:04

@karlaka

Both as bad as each other imo then - both did something non consensual.

but guys should not slap girls

OP posts:
cruffinsmuffin · 09/08/2023 18:06

@karlaka

No one should slap anyone. No one should scratch anyone either.

GrazingSheep · 09/08/2023 18:07

Women shouldn’t scratch men.

ToughFuss · 09/08/2023 18:09

Well, neither are great. I think the slap is probably ‘worse’ but both were in the wrong.

FOJN · 09/08/2023 18:12

The scratcher needs to take fewer cues from shite Hollywood films about what passionate sex looks like and behave like a respectful adult.

Intentionally slapping someone is never acceptable.

If you are already talking in terms of whose "crime" is worse then this relationship is doomed.

Whattodowithit88 · 09/08/2023 18:12

Both as bad and one not worse.
Wrong is wrong, doesn’t make the other right.

Original poster
karlaka · 09/08/2023 18:13

FOJN · 09/08/2023 18:12

The scratcher needs to take fewer cues from shite Hollywood films about what passionate sex looks like and behave like a respectful adult.

Intentionally slapping someone is never acceptable.

If you are already talking in terms of whose "crime" is worse then this relationship is doomed.

It's sex, not a relationship. I simply asked which one is worse

OP posts:
okiedokie1 · 09/08/2023 18:14

Neither is worse. Both are violations and if not consensual then both are aggressive.

Original poster
karlaka · 09/08/2023 18:15

okiedokie1 · 09/08/2023 18:14

Neither is worse. Both are violations and if not consensual then both are aggressive.

you do realize that one is coming from a passionate place and one is a reaction? He could have just gotten up and leave the room instead

OP posts:
ThePuma · 09/08/2023 18:16

The slap is worse.

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