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Original poster

Whose behavior is worse?

132 replies

karlaka · 09/08/2023 17:53

She scratches him in the back during sex. He gives her a slap on the cheek.

In your opinion, is he allowed to do that? Whose behavior is worse? Who is wrong here?

OP posts:
Original poster
karlaka · 09/08/2023 18:28

category12 · 09/08/2023 18:27

So you scratched him during sex and he slapped you in response?

I wouldn't see him again. What he should have done was say "what the fuck? I don't like that" and dumped you. Slapping you was way out of line.

But what you did was wrong too - find out what a guy likes in bed before doing it to him. Consent is everything.

So you think his reaction was worse?

OP posts:
PawPrintsInMyPansies · 09/08/2023 18:29

Why are you obsessed with who behaved worse? You were both out of order.

grow up.

autienotnaughti · 09/08/2023 18:29

If the scratch was accidental then an apology is needed. No one should be slapping without prior discussion. If someone slapped me regardless of what I had done I wouldn't see them again.

Flowers94 · 09/08/2023 18:30

karlaka · 09/08/2023 18:26

He slapped me after I scratched him

Show quote history

Definitely wouldn’t be seeing him again!!
i do see where other posters are coming from with the scratching but if I’m honest unless I’ve been in a relationship with someone i probably wouldn’t discuss my likes/dislikes in the bedroom with someone’s before first sleeping with them.
he could have just asked you not to as he doesn’t like it, no need for a physical reaction

Original poster
karlaka · 09/08/2023 18:30

autienotnaughti · 09/08/2023 18:29

If the scratch was accidental then an apology is needed. No one should be slapping without prior discussion. If someone slapped me regardless of what I had done I wouldn't see them again.

No the scratch was intentional

OP posts:
Original poster
karlaka · 09/08/2023 18:31

PawPrintsInMyPansies · 09/08/2023 18:29

Why are you obsessed with who behaved worse? You were both out of order.

grow up.

Yeah, but I still feel like his reaction was worse.

OP posts:
ThePuma · 09/08/2023 18:31

I think it depends on various factors. How mich do you like them? How much did it hurt? Was it retaliatory or did he think it was something you’d like? Etc etc.

okiedokie1 · 09/08/2023 18:33

I think both of you don't understand how to behave so should back off sleeping with people until after you have grown up. You are both coming out if this looking bad your desperate need to know who is worse is juvenile

Original poster
karlaka · 09/08/2023 18:33

ThePuma · 09/08/2023 18:31

I think it depends on various factors. How mich do you like them? How much did it hurt? Was it retaliatory or did he think it was something you’d like? Etc etc.

I don't know what he thought. He asked me if I was surprised by his reaction the next time I'd seen him

OP posts:
Monsterjam · 09/08/2023 18:33

karlaka · 09/08/2023 18:31

Yeah, but I still feel like his reaction was worse.

Show quote history

I think this makes it clear that OP is just taking the piss and isn’t at all interested in responses

PawPrintsInMyPansies · 09/08/2023 18:34

Monsterjam · 09/08/2023 18:33

I think this makes it clear that OP is just taking the piss and isn’t at all interested in responses

Show quote history

Yep.

Original poster
karlaka · 09/08/2023 18:34

Monsterjam · 09/08/2023 18:33

I think this makes it clear that OP is just taking the piss and isn’t at all interested in responses

Show quote history

I'm not taking the piss. I'm concerned he might be an aggressive person and violent towards women.

OP posts:
QuaversAndRedbull · 09/08/2023 18:34

you do realize that one is coming from a passionate place and one is a reaction? He could have just gotten up and leave the room instead

Just because the person scratching the other thinks it's a sign of passion it doesn't mean it's ok to do. If digging your nails into your sexual partner is how you want to express your passion you should check they're ok with that first, especially if you're having casual sex with so wine who isn't a long term partner, and I apply that same logic to men who think slapping or other rough acts are a display of passions like hair pulling. I've seen men say slapping a woman's body during sex is a sign of passion so I suppose this man could say he took the scratching him to be a sign you want him to be rough too.

Yes a man shouldn't slap a woman during sex without checking it's something she likes before hand but the same goes for scratching too. Wether it's a man or a woman doing it.

HotPringles · 09/08/2023 18:34

Neither of them not ok.

As far as I’m concerned there isn’t a ‘in the throw if passion’.
It reminds me when I was a child and a man was killing a woman ‘in the throw of passion because he was so jealous’. Riiiight….

A slap is just more ‘obvious’.

And there isn’t one worse than the other.

WhateverMate · 09/08/2023 18:35

Monsterjam · 09/08/2023 18:33

I think this makes it clear that OP is just taking the piss and isn’t at all interested in responses

Show quote history

Yep, going by the OP's responses, they don't sound old enough to have sex.

autienotnaughti · 09/08/2023 18:36

@karlaka then they are both bad but I still wouldn't stay with a person who thought a slap was an appropriate response

Original poster
karlaka · 09/08/2023 18:36

WhateverMate · 09/08/2023 18:35

Yep, going by the OP's responses, they don't sound old enough to have sex.

Show quote history

well I think we're old enough. I have just never discussed boundaries with someone I would have casual sex with

OP posts:
Monsterjam · 09/08/2023 18:36

karlaka · 09/08/2023 18:34

I'm not taking the piss. I'm concerned he might be an aggressive person and violent towards women.

Show quote history

Yes he was violent to a woman and you were violent to a man! Both bad! No score sheet for who is worse!

Original poster
karlaka · 09/08/2023 18:37

Monsterjam · 09/08/2023 18:36

Yes he was violent to a woman and you were violent to a man! Both bad! No score sheet for who is worse!

Show quote history

But scratching is obviously more common when having sax than slapping someone

OP posts:
HotPringles · 09/08/2023 18:37

karlaka · 09/08/2023 18:26

He slapped me after I scratched him

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In retaliation or because you have him the go ahead to be rougher ??
The fact he asked if you were surprised of his reaction is telling he thought the firmer btw.

Tbh if you are wondering if he might turn dangerous, then just stop seeing him.

category12 · 09/08/2023 18:37

karlaka · 09/08/2023 18:28

So you think his reaction was worse?

Show quote history

Yes. Don't see him again.

But don't introduce pain during sex without talking about it first in future.

AuntieJune · 09/08/2023 18:38

karlaka · 09/08/2023 18:36

well I think we're old enough. I have just never discussed boundaries with someone I would have casual sex with

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That's exactly who you should discuss boundaries with

Scratching is impolite and bad sex, slapping is a juvenile and unpleasant response, I think both of you need to work on yourselves tbh

This thread is making me think of pork scratchings

TeapotTitties · 09/08/2023 18:39

karlaka · 09/08/2023 18:19

I was not, all other men enjoyed it so far

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Well maybe all other women enjoyed a slap so far?

Neither of you checked in advance so you're both very much in the wrong.

dikwad · 09/08/2023 18:40

"I was not, all other men enjoyed it so far"

I love being choked and having my arse and thighs slapped with paddles/palms until it leaves marks that last for days. Not every woman does, so would my sexual partner be okay doing it to another woman because I enjoy it?

Neither is worse than the other.