Whose behavior is worse?

[karlaka]

She scratches him in the back during sex. He gives her a slap on the cheek.

In your opinion, is he allowed to do that? Whose behavior is worse? Who is wrong here?

Both should stop having sex with people until they can learn how consent works, and not try and get into a "whose non consensual sex act was worse" pissing contests.

Sex is for adults, adults don't act or think like this. No more sex until some growing up has been done.

A scratch is way more "normal" unless you had sharp nai

Posted too soon.

Sharp nails that drew blood

Slap on the cheek sounds absolutely horrible. The scratch was done in a passionate moment. The slap sounds like retaliation. Bin him.

You need to speak to the man about it. If he thought that by scratching him you were requesting rough sex - tell him he was wrong. If you feel comfortable speaking to him again. If you don't, don't.

Scratching and slapping can be consensual in sex and some people enjoy it, but obviously there should be discussion and safe words involved in any sex that includes violent play.

None of us were there. We don't know how hard you scratched him, how hard he slapped you, what was said or done etc.

If you want this kind of sex with a partner, next time sit down with them beforehand and discuss boundaries, safe words etc.

Ffs. You again….

Been through similar it was a running thing but I never slapped in reaction, as personally wouldn't.

However, scratching although may seem passionate, which it can be to be fair, there's a fine line in my experience of that's perfectly fine and passionate to fuck that feels like I'm being slashed open. Gouging or digging the same.

Am I right in assuming you did that in the heat of the moment and he slapped you out of nowhere, how hard?

I wouldn't myself but it may have been him thinking you wanted that as you didn't ask or he was being aggressive and putting you in his place.

Hard to say for sure though. Best bet maybe don't see him again?

I suspect this is linked to your other threads and you were indeed leaving your mark so the long-distance girlfriend he was cheating on knew you were there.

Well that'll do it!

OP we get it. You think he was worse. You ask us what we think and the vast majority of us have said you were equally bad.
Then you ask 'but he was worse wasn't he?'

Stop. This is getting ridiculous. You asked. We answered. You are both behaving equally bad.

Did you continue to have sex after he slapped you?

so you scratched him, he thought you liked it a bit rougher so slapped to go along with it?

Or you scratched and he slapped in anger/to make it stop?

Either way, stop being so petty with who was worse and walk away. If you can't have a normal conversation then it's not worth continuing in any capacity.

Sorry just seen you said you continued. Well why would he think you weren't ok with it if you didn't stop sex?

Slapping is worse as its disrespectful. Obviously been watching too much porn which is really psychologically damaging for all areas of his life. Avoid

Just saw you other threads about your boyfriend. OP, you’re throwing your time away. The only point in having a relationship is it’s meant to enhance your life and be fun. If you ever find yourself posting thread after thread about a blokes behaviour choices, stop, make better use of your life, value yourself.

I think you need time to be a person alone, battle whatever issues you have with boundaries and accepting less than the absolute best. I think you're fixated and obsessed in an unhealthy way. Your three threads show you just keep repeating stock phrases, until people agree with you. So you just want reassurance and aren't really interested in any opposing views.

I think you need to step away from this bullshit.

And the slapping?

Infuriating drip feeding on this thread.

Maybe he thought that's what you were into? You assumed scratching is what he's into?

What is hilarious is that it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things does it? You’re not going to break up with him.

You keep posting new threads with these ‘questions’ that, you will only accept your own ludicrous answer for. All the posters adding in actual advice are shot down.

scratch him, don’t scratch him, we DGAF anymore…

This is so fucked up.

You again.

Is this the same man who was sleeping with you and his ex girlfriend who lied to you for months?

Surely not.

So are your posts an academic exercise?

His was worse.

If he didn't like being scratched he should have stopped the sex and said so.

But he didn't, he decided to slap you, which for all he knew could have terrified you but he didn't care.

Lots of people are being very PC on this thread but if this conversation went down in real life with a group of girlfriends most would think he was a weirdo.

Why are you asking you think you know the answer, sure I think it is as bad as each other but you don't want to hear that you have some weird thing going on instead

Arguably, you were worse because you deliberately initiated the non-consensual violence (no matter how “spontaneous” or “passionate” for first claimed it to be)

Some men would slap a woman during sex or choke her or bite her without consent and make exactly the same excuse you're making. You hurt someone during sex without gaining prior consent to do so, and that was wrong. You received a slap in response which was also wrong, but if someone hurt me without consent during sex I would be tempted to slap them in response too. You're making excuses for a violation.