Dh had a lapdance. I feel broken

[Rabbithole90]

I always thought I would be ok if he ever did it. Never goaded him doing it whatsoever or encouraged but he's come home from a stag do and spent OUR money on it. £40.

I feel cheated on. I know I've not been. But I can't help how I feel. I'm so upset

It’s actually wild reading comments on here sometimes 😂

Also for £40 do they think that the guy is gonna get much of a dance in this cost of living crisis im shocked it was enough to get a drink or 2 in a place like that.

Yes well we don’t all have the privilege to do work that does something for women as a class.

Would people stop saying vulva. You sound daft. We would know what you meant if you said vagina!!!

The OP was right for what she called the stripper. The majority aren't trafficked and they choose it, and don't give me that bs about university or paying bills. If you have self respect, you'd ditch the uni course and work in McDonalds instead and do a part-time course or something til you can afford uni. I'd rather have to rely on foodbanks than lower myself. There is no justification at all for choosing prostitution/stripping, not ever, and I for one think the OP was too nice, 'tart' is the most nicest way I'd think of putting it, I'd use far harsher terms than that, let me tell you! But then again I don't make excuses for women who choose to do those jobs like some on here do.

Vagina is internal, don't be daft, use the proper term! It is a vulva, not a vagina!!! Everyone knows what it means so if you don't know, you're the one with the problem there.

They only fulfil a demand from men.

If men didnt go in there, they wouldn't stay open.

🤣😂 This is so ridiculous thinking you can afford Uni as a teenager by working at McDonalds.

There are countless threads where two parents, at the peak of their earning power in professional careers lamenting as to how they cannot even afford a few thousand quid a year to support their Uni age DC.

You should go on that thread and tell them you have it all solved, tell their DC to go work at McDonalds and they’ll be able to afford Uni…🤣

Noone forced any man to go into sex industry establishments.

They have free will.

@BathroomOnTheRight I was too polite to say so- but yep I agree. 'Most ' of the people doing this work are not trafficked- they are looking/hoping to earn high money for as few hours as possible. Greed is a big factor, same goes for Only Fans , Cam sites etc etc. If women actually did themselves a favour and stopped this kind of work then it would cut off the supply - as it is they will probably be on here in 20 years moaning about their partners being up to the same.

That does not justify it!

Over a £40 lap dance where some bored 25 year old rubbed a nipple tassel over a drunken man's ear

If by ear, you mean fabric covered cock and by nipple Tassle you mean vulva and buttocks, that might be realistic.

Oh and nipple Tassle - what burlesque club are you projecting.

Anyway, it's not the bored 25 yr old the man's partner gives a fuck about..

It's the man - who didn't need to buy a personal lap dance, even if he "couldn't" avoid going into a titty bar cause the stag group just had tobgo in there.

Oh for goodness sake, READ my post properly! I didn't say get a job at McDonalds to afford uni, I said take an other route ie a part-time course, and maybe one day if you can afford it later on, go to uni.

It absolutely does.

No customers, no business.

Oh and if you think the money made out of stripping, lap dancing and prostitution goes mostly into the women's hands, you're deluded.

@ChopperC110P how do you think most students get by then from average income homes? Seem to be plenty of them here getting by by working in Tescos, Maccy Ds , bars, Costa etc, plus student loans and not working in strip clubs, only Fans etc .

The majority aren't trafficked

How the fuck would you know?

Do you run one?

Even if they aren't trafficked, you'll find most of their background circumstances are far from privileged.

No, it absolutely does not! It's like a heroin trafficker saying don't abuse me, it's not my fault, if there was no demand, I wouldn't be doing it.

A woman with morals and self respect would never do it, no...matter....what.

The OP was right for what she called the stripper.

No she wasn't.

The strippers not the problem.

Her husband walked into that club and her husband chose to take it further by buying a personal lap dance.

We don't need any old school misogynist deflection onto "fallen" women .... Let's look at the customers, the drivers of such women .

A woman with morals and self respect would neverdo it, no...matter....what.

Maybe they wouldn't, who knows.

But nether would man with morals and self respect buy sexual services off them!!!!!!?

From knowing a few of them.

And, once again, nothing justifies doing what they do. Nothing. Ever.

Oh FGS. How has this thread degenerated into blaming the lap dancer rather than the disgusting man involved?

Focus on the man.

The random woman working as a lap dancer is not ops problem, her husband is.

And for all the ppl who say "was there a clear discussion and boundaries" ..... There doesn't need to be one. It's very clear to anyone with a brain and a tap of empathy that you can't assume your intimate like partner would be ok with you having sexual interaction with another person .. the cluelessness is pretend.

*a few of them.

Ah you clearly have a familiar, close, overarching, comprehensive knowledge then..

Yes, I have never told my DH not to go to a strip club, and vice-versa.

My ex paid 400 quid for that experience. The day he told me I got the ick and it was over. Yuck.

Yes she absolutely was, and she was too nice even using that word. I would use words far worse than that.

Regardless of the fault of the men, a woman who chooses to do that is guilty of supply. There is never, ever, ever, ever an excuse, lets not defend misogyny here and support women empowerment, not lowing our standards because the men 'can't help it'.