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Original poster

Dh had a lapdance. I feel broken

1000 replies

Rabbithole90 · 24/07/2023 21:49

I always thought I would be ok if he ever did it. Never goaded him doing it whatsoever or encouraged but he's come home from a stag do and spent OUR money on it. £40.

I feel cheated on. I know I've not been. But I can't help how I feel. I'm so upset

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
newfriend05 · 24/07/2023 22:21

it's a lap dance .. do
You really want to face single hood for a lap dance 🤦🏻‍♀️ tell him he's stupid .. make him
Feel bad for a while take £50 and buy yourself something ..

Eddyraisins · 24/07/2023 22:21

I divorced my husband for this 20 years ago.

MysteriesOfTheOrganism · 24/07/2023 22:23

Unless you've previously discussed and agreed your own rules about what is and isn't acceptable, then by normal standards it's cheating. It's also pretty grim, but that's just my opinion.

Greenshake · 24/07/2023 22:23

Trees6 · 24/07/2023 22:19

The Mumsnetters who’d be “cool” with this would be disappointed if their own daughters earned a living that way.

But it’s ok for working-class folks’ daughters and trafficked teens to do it.

There’s loads wrong with what he’s done.

I can assure you that this middle class females undertake this work too.

Shahira78 · 24/07/2023 22:24

It is cheating. I would feel sick. So sorry x

Shahira78 · 24/07/2023 22:26

Cheating is anything a partner would definitely not do in front of you.

Jk987 · 24/07/2023 22:26

onlynotafan · 24/07/2023 21:55

Cheating to me is my oh even looking at another woman 👩

Wow. Good luck with that! You must think you own him and have a say in everything he does 😂

Emmamoo89 · 24/07/2023 22:27

onlynotafan · 24/07/2023 21:55

Cheating to me is my oh even looking at another woman 👩

🙄🙄

readbooksdrinktea · 24/07/2023 22:27

"Buy yourself something" - really?

Retail therapy to get over your husband having some stranger gyrating on him.

I would hate this, and no amount of shopping would make that go away.

FuckNuggets · 24/07/2023 22:28

newfriend05 · 24/07/2023 22:21

it's a lap dance .. do
You really want to face single hood for a lap dance 🤦🏻‍♀️ tell him he's stupid .. make him
Feel bad for a while take £50 and buy yourself something ..

Oh god, it's a "cool girl". 🙄

IsThePopeCatholic · 24/07/2023 22:29

He’s disgusting and disrespectful of women.

Shahira78 · 24/07/2023 22:29

FuckNuggets · 24/07/2023 22:28

Oh god, it's a "cool girl". 🙄

Show quote history

A cool girl that would react very differently if it happened to her.

Greenshake · 24/07/2023 22:30

@Shahira78 you can’t possibly know how she would react.

LightSpeeds · 24/07/2023 22:30

Take £40, go out on a date with someone then ask him what his problem
is when he doesn't like it!

mimoo1 · 24/07/2023 22:32

I would be absolutely gutted, disappointed, embarrassed but I do think it's something that you could eventually move past. It's not worth ending a relationship over (in my opinion).

bozzabollix · 24/07/2023 22:32

I bet you can find somewhere where you can be gyrated at by a naked bloke. Not necessarily pleasant possibly but definitely a good demonstration of how it feels to be you.

Uurrjb · 24/07/2023 22:33

This is a live action gyration…it’s not something either of us would tolerate…so because you paid it’s okay but if someone was grinding on you in a club for a good session that’s not okay?

where is your limit?

it’s so tacky

urgh

Troyton · 24/07/2023 22:33

I'm a man (as Frank Spencer once said) and I think it's gross. I've been on a few stag do's, on the one that did end up at a strip club, myself and a couple of the other married/attached blokes just said "not for us, have fun but we are getting a kebab and heading for home".

Its not my kind of thing anyway, but I don't think it should be something any man in a relationship should do.

I'd be interested in how many of the ladies who reckon they would be cool with it, would maintain that cool head if it happened to them?

mommatoone · 24/07/2023 22:34

What is all this 'cool girl' bollocks , and posters taking the piss out of people who have a different opinion from them!! Everyone differs when it comes to relationships- i dont expect people give a shit whether strangers on the Internet thinking they are trying to be cool or not ffs.

newfriend05 · 24/07/2023 22:34

Not a cool girl just a realist

Indigotree · 24/07/2023 22:35

All these people ok with their partners looking at another woman...you do know the pp means looking and being sexually aroused by the sight of another woman? That would certainly devastate me and be the end of the relationship. If you're in love, it isn't normal to be attracted to other people. Even if you are, it isn't ok to go out of your way to look at other people you find attractive.

Greenshake · 24/07/2023 22:36

mommatoone · 24/07/2023 22:34

What is all this 'cool girl' bollocks , and posters taking the piss out of people who have a different opinion from them!! Everyone differs when it comes to relationships- i dont expect people give a shit whether strangers on the Internet thinking they are trying to be cool or not ffs.

Because some people take pleasure in acting morally superior when anyone dares to disagree with them on a topic like this. They have no idea how judgemental and patronising they sound either.

sparklefresh · 24/07/2023 22:37

I wouldn't break up a family over this. I'd be furious and make it clear I never wanted him to do it again but I wouldn't end my marriage over it. And no, I'm not a 'cool girl' or a 'pick me', I just have different boundaries.

TeriblePerson · 24/07/2023 22:38

Do what you feel is best OP. My ex paid a prostitute and I tried to push through and it don't last. Hold your head up high. If you have boundaries , assert them. What a bellend. Can't believe he has risked his marriage for that. Idiot.

PonkyPonky · 24/07/2023 22:38

Indigotree · 24/07/2023 22:35

All these people ok with their partners looking at another woman...you do know the pp means looking and being sexually aroused by the sight of another woman? That would certainly devastate me and be the end of the relationship. If you're in love, it isn't normal to be attracted to other people. Even if you are, it isn't ok to go out of your way to look at other people you find attractive.

FFS of course it’s normal to be attracted to other people. It doesn’t magically stop just because you’re in a relationship. You just don’t act on it anymore. Jeez there are some unhealthy dynamics out there

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