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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just found ive been cheated on

701 replies

babygirl88 · 21/07/2023 21:01

After 6 years. My partners in the shower, i tapped his phone and saw another womans whatsapp message with an explicit message.

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LemonLimeDivine · 21/07/2023 21:02

I’m so sorry. What made you suspicious?

SophiaElizabethGrace · 21/07/2023 21:03

Oh god, that awful, awful feeling in your stomach. So sorry

rootsandwings89 · 21/07/2023 21:03

I'm so sorry, sending love

Menopants · 21/07/2023 21:03

So sorry . You will get through this

wineschmine · 21/07/2023 21:04

I'm so sorry 😞

Lwrenagain · 21/07/2023 21:04

I'm so so sorry! What a fucker!

Take photos on your phone of evidence.
Do you have kids/mortgage?

Can you run the hot tap just to fuck with his shower? Petty but meh.

I'm really sorry! I'm guessing this isn't a massive shock for you to feel it necessary for a nose though his phone?

Is there anywhere you can stay tonight?

babygirl88 · 21/07/2023 21:05

Nothing made me suspicious. Just wanted to see the time and saw a message from 'hollie' saw her whatsapp picture and the conversation

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Moopyhereagain · 21/07/2023 21:05

I’m so sorry. Its going to be awful for a while but there will be a point in the future where life is ok again, different but it will be ok.

Okayletsgoo · 21/07/2023 21:05

I'm so sorry

EmmaPaella · 21/07/2023 21:07

Oh goodness, so sorry OP.

babygirl88 · 21/07/2023 21:08

Ive never been so shocked in my life. I had no idea at all. I just checked for the time.

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GoodChat · 21/07/2023 21:08

At least you found out while he's still just a partner, I guess.

What's your situation? Do you have children?

When he gets out the shower, tell him Hollie message and to pack his overnight bag.

DimeStoreHooker · 21/07/2023 21:08

There are children involved?

Lwrenagain · 21/07/2023 21:09

This is so awful.
Do you have a friend or family member close by?

EVHead · 21/07/2023 21:09

So sorry - what a shock for you.

What do you want to do?

babygirl88 · 21/07/2023 21:13

No children. No ties. He got out the shower and i said sorry, my friend called, its an emergency, i need to leave. He stayed for 20 minutes saying 'shall i come, do u need money, what is it, let me help' i said no i need to leave. We dont live together atm. Very on and off. I said why are u pretending u care. And he left.

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Fuckitydoodah · 21/07/2023 21:13

What a shock for you. I'm sorry this is happening to you.

Maybe try and take photos on your phone. He's likely to deny or minimise.

babygirl88 · 21/07/2023 21:14

Why do people act like this. I dont understand. We just had a lovely meal, went out, came home and i see this. Im beyond shocked, lost for worss honestlt

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babygirl88 · 21/07/2023 21:15

I could see the conversations. He had pretended to fall asleep while we were out on a date. He put 'sorry, had a nap' cunt

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MsDogLady · 21/07/2023 21:16

What a brutal shock, @babygirl88.

OW’s explicit message says it all. Your Partner is cheating. He will in all likelihood attempt to manipulate you with denial, deflection, and blame-shifting. Don’t allow it.

In your shoes, I would send him packing while you find your bearings and weigh your options.

CrazyArmadilloLady · 21/07/2023 21:18

So sorry OP.

Is it his house? Do you have somewhere to go back to?

babygirl88 · 21/07/2023 21:18

I have never felt this emotion before. Its inexplainable

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babygirl88 · 21/07/2023 21:18

I was in my own house. We live separately.

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FFSwhatisthis · 21/07/2023 21:19

@babygirl88 im
so sorry, that must have been such a shock!!

why didn't you say something about Hollie??

Backstreets · 21/07/2023 21:20

What a scumbag! So sorry op