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Original poster

Just found ive been cheated on

701 replies

babygirl88 · 21/07/2023 21:01

After 6 years. My partners in the shower, i tapped his phone and saw another womans whatsapp message with an explicit message.

OP posts:
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10
CrazyArmadilloLady · 21/07/2023 22:09

Are you prepared for what you will say to him?

StellaJohanna · 21/07/2023 22:10

I'm so sorry. You've been with him on and off your whole adult life, but you are young, no children and in your own place so you will be able to move on eventually without having to see him at all. It's such a horrific shock. Please can you get a friend to come over and stay with you tonight, just for a bit of company x

Zanatdy · 21/07/2023 22:11

babygirl88 · 21/07/2023 21:29

He was angry like i had incovenienced HIM.

Yes because he was expecting sex! He can fuck off to Hollie then. So sorry this is such shitty behaviour

momonpurpose · 21/07/2023 22:12

I'm so sorry for what you are going thru. You have done the right thing. Your are still long and have a wonderful life ahead of you. Sending hugs

Jimminir · 21/07/2023 22:14

If you opened the message then he’s going to know you seen the convo.

hew debating his next move.

spineless idiot

CrazyArmadilloLady · 21/07/2023 22:16

Jimminir · 21/07/2023 22:14

If you opened the message then he’s going to know you seen the convo.

hew debating his next move.

spineless idiot

She didn’t open the message - she saw it on the screen when she touched it. He won’t be any the wiser.

BethDuttonsTwin · 21/07/2023 22:19

Block him everywhere and never speak to him again. I once read a post on here where the poster had been cheated on. From the moment she found out, she never spoke to him again. Years later he would still ask her friends how she was and try to find out about her. The total ignoring got to him more than any scene would have done. I wish I had done that when I found out my ex H had cheated.

Jimminir · 21/07/2023 22:23

CrazyArmadilloLady · 21/07/2023 22:16

She didn’t open the message - she saw it on the screen when she touched it. He won’t be any the wiser.

Show quote history

Yes she did

She wrote ‘I could see the conversations. He had pretended to fall asleep while we were out on a date. He put 'sorry, had a nap' cunt’

which means she opened it and read the conversation.

HarridanHarvestingHeldaBeans · 21/07/2023 22:28

I'm so sorry. Don't do anything right now except ask a friend to come over. Even later, you don't need to do anything except text "I know. We're over." and then block him. If he has anything at your place, you can send it to him.

He isn't the one for you, but this doesn't need to be a terrible thing for you. There is no marriage, no joint mortgage and no child, so there is also no real reason for you to ever have to see his cheating face again. You have a home and a life, and you are going to be just fine. I promise!

allmyliesaretrue · 21/07/2023 22:28

@babygirl88 I think when the shock lessens you will see the whole relationship more clearly. There's a reason why you never moved in together or made any actual commitment to each other.

I think he's done you a favour tbh. You have your independence, your own place, presumably no financial ties, and no children. You're still young and can make your own way in life, perhaps even meeting someone who will be prepared to commit to you and be faithful to you.

In the meantime, I do hope his dick shrivels up and falls off into Hollie. Hugs xx

wyntersuhn · 21/07/2023 22:34

Aquamarine1029 · 21/07/2023 21:30

Text him, tell him you know he's cheating, tell him to never contact you again and then block him. I'm so sorry this happened.

This. Don't open the door for him to deny, gaslight or accuse. I'm so, so sorry xx

Doggymummar · 21/07/2023 22:38

So 😔

CrazyArmadilloLady · 21/07/2023 22:38

CrazyArmadilloLady · 21/07/2023 22:16

She didn’t open the message - she saw it on the screen when she touched it. He won’t be any the wiser.

Show quote history

You’re right, apologies.

So OP - he’s going to know you know.

changingmyname143 · 21/07/2023 22:44

Sorry OP, what a douche bag. Change your locks. When he asks why tell him "Hollies boyfriend found out about you two and sought me out" he's made you feel like this, he deserves it.

pinkfondu · 21/07/2023 22:47

You don't need proof, you know what you saw!

Original poster
babygirl88 · 21/07/2023 22:47

He is calling and texring and leaving voicemails. I dont understand. Ive given you an out on a friday night, go meet her? Go call her? I havent responded or answered

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Original poster
babygirl88 · 21/07/2023 22:49

2 decades our lives are intwined. Minute by minute i know his routine and people he speaks too. Seeing her picture made me sick.

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YoSof · 21/07/2023 22:50

babygirl88 · 21/07/2023 22:47

He is calling and texring and leaving voicemails. I dont understand. Ive given you an out on a friday night, go meet her? Go call her? I havent responded or answered

He’s panicking because he knows that you know.

Prepare yourself for the script/the lies/the manipulation.

Aquamarine1029 · 21/07/2023 22:50

He's scrambling, op. He knows you know.

Fuck him. Block his number. You have a chance to create a whole new adventure for yourself. Don't allow him back in, you've wasted enough years already.

Original poster
babygirl88 · 21/07/2023 22:50

I wont say anything about her. It will turn on to me. I will just have to silently withdraw but i adore him. Even still.

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Original poster
babygirl88 · 21/07/2023 22:51

You will text her in my house but when you leave you're bombarding me. It doesnt even make sense. It must be a sexual thing. But we have such a good love life. Im so confused.

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allmyliesaretrue · 21/07/2023 22:52

babygirl88 · 21/07/2023 22:51

You will text her in my house but when you leave you're bombarding me. It doesnt even make sense. It must be a sexual thing. But we have such a good love life. Im so confused.

Why did you never make a more permanent commitment to each other?

Original poster
babygirl88 · 21/07/2023 22:54

She looks nothijg like me? Literally the opposite of what he likes.

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Original poster
babygirl88 · 21/07/2023 22:56

@allmyliesaretrue i dont know. Couldnt say. Always just waited for him. He has sat outside in the rain for hours just seeing if i will answer the door. BEGGED for my time. I always believed st some point it would just work out.

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Original poster
babygirl88 · 21/07/2023 22:57
  1. Too late to kove om and have kids and build Up trust again. Ive wasted 20 years
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