Dating Thread 242 - Mid-Summer daters

[qqq82]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

NoDatingFor0LdMen Yeah I suppose it is, I'm so awkward

What do you say to start a chat?

I tend to go with something along lines of thanking them for match and saying to drop me a message if they fancy chatting sometime. I'm long past sending thoughtful or detailed opening messages only to be ignored or unmatched because I was just an ego swipe

Slothmomma Yes I sometimes go with 'Hi, we seem like a good match from your profile, so message me if you'd like to chat sometime'.

Generally, if my 2nd message says something about where we live (because we are close) Then my third one would of been a 'How are you' type one.

I used to say 'Thank you for the match/message' but I had a whole load of sarcastic answers back, like 'Why, don't you get many?!' So I stopped saying it.

@NervesOfCotton
im hardly in a position to be giving advice ! but I used to look for something in the profile or pictures that could get an open response

Teacher had a picture of her camping, so that was easy, I just asked if it was somewhere or the other, ( I knew it wasn’t), and she responded by correcting me ( she did that alot), and the location and the conversation started flowing , easy.

before that I saw a woman with a Vespa, so that was easy as well, saw another woman with a picture on a horse, so that was easy- peasy as well.

I just used to look for something that would get someone to open up about themselves,

NoDatingFor0ldMen Hey, I'll take your advice, you've done better than me

I've tried that approach before, finding something in the profile to mention, I just got fed up of them all being ignored, but maybe I should do it a bit more often.

Don’t get me wrong, most were ignored - but I do remember those getting responses, either that or the women in question had a weakness for fat bearded old men!

@NervesOfCotton Bloody hell, I must say I love your response to that bloke who asked for your WhatsApp! 🙌🏽👏🏾

And what a refreshing tone with the next chat - lovely.

@SamW98 that breaks sounds like it has come at the right time. Enjoy!

So, I am getting ready to put myself out there again. Have reactivated my Hinge profile, but wondered if anyone could give some feedback? Have had several matches, which I have then messaged, resulting in no reply. My opening message is “Hi name, thanks for liking my picture. Your profile looks good, highlighting something on there. Would you like to chat on here?”

I am in no rush to have this done (or go on a date - being fussy!), but if there is something glaringly obvious I am overlooking, that would be great.

@NervesOfCotton would you be open to this? Just I have connected with you the longest on here and you have steered me right (as have others in the past!).

Thanks!

Thank you LittleFloatingGhost
He messaged me this morning (on the App, he gave me his number last night but hasn't mentioned it again) & we've been chatting today, he still seems nice... We have a date arranged for next Wednesday & I'm hoping nothing goes wrong before then!

Aww LittleFloatingGhost Of course!

@NervesOfCotton thank you! I have sent you a private message on here.

This worked for me too. The guy I'm going on date 2 with had a snowboarding photo. I ski, so it gave us something to start talking about.

Lol, I love that response!

I'm getting such good vibes from Mr Beard. His messages are lovely (we have now swapped numbers so we're chatting on WhatsApp). He's away doing his hobby with friends for a few days, he sent me a photo of them all last night when he messaged to say he'd arrived. He looks soooo good! lol. I cannot wait for date 2.

Aw @VenturingOut80 sounds great, delighted for you.

Well I just had a slightly awkward video call with one, And I've got TWO! Dates for next week! I'm thinking LittleFloatingGhost (Who has a lovely profile, by the way!) Has sent some luck my way

I've never multi-dated before & I'm already finding it difficult!
Video call guy is very cute, but he's only 35, & I don't know if he was just overly conscious of the fact I'm nearly 7 years older than him, but he kept saying 'Oh I'm too old for that'.

Too old to get a tattoo.
Too old to go drinking in bars.
Too old to learn a new skill ?!

VenturingOut Lovely update, he sounds really nice.

NervesOfCotton Two dates!! How exciting 🙂
Just enjoy it. There's no need to make any decisions until you've met them both. And even then I would have a couple of dates before choosing.

Just don't mix them up when messages!

Does anyone remember the childrens' tv show, Rainbow?
Well, I can assure you that Zippy is still alive and apparently single. He's just super liked me on Tinder 🤣

@NervesOfCotton

Oh wow men really are like buses 🤣 enjoy both dates x

Thank you NellyTheCake & SamW. I'm looking forward to one more than the other but that could change when I meet them!

Undecided on video call man yet, if I want to meet him for a date or not. I'm leaning towards no as I don't want a whole date full of hearing about how old he is

& NellyTheCake At least it wasn't Bungle

Oh gee I'm 44 so my life must be over 🤣🤣 he sounds a bit boring Nerves?
What are you thinking?

Well my nice update was short lived. Date 2 was nice. Had a slightly deeper chat where a few red flags popped up
He doesn't seem to have any relationships longer than a month as the women all turn on him, he can't do drama. We had date 3 planned for Saturday. His tone was off yesterday in messages and he offered to call me today. I said I felt his tone was off. We had also potentially hinted we may DTD after date 3. I said that I had changed my mind about that and I wanted to wait. He went nuts. Threw his toys out of the pram on the phone and sent me a barrage of vile messages over the next hour. Had to block and report him on WhatsApp and Hinge.
Ugh.
Feeling proud that I said how I actually felt rather than people pleasing but I was not expecting such a strong reaction, he totally gaslit me in everything I said.
Lucky escape but still hurts

Thewildthingsliveatmyhouse
Oh wow, that's horrible!! I hope you're ok after that.
No wonder he can't hold onto a relationship. And no doubt thinks it's always the womans fault.
Well done for reporting him.

Jeez, I’m 53, - when did 35 become too old? Scrap heap for me.

@Thewildthingsliveatmyhouse

OMG that’s awful. Thankfully he showed his true colours before it went any further. Hope you’re ok.

@NervesOfCotton

Too old at 35?? I’m 54 and I still go to raves 🤣