Dating Thread 239 - spring fling

[Thisisworsethananticpated]

I couldn’t think of a decent as it’s been so fractious ! Will post rules shortly

Worsy…I have now a week without kids finally…so will have time from Wednesday to be with him properly. He’s had very bad news last week. He’s fragile and I really hope things get better for him. I’m still ambivalent about how much drama I can take to be honest. But I’m happy myself and don’t want to date anyone else. I just think it’s a pity he’s got a lot of problems he can’t really control right now. All that on top of his personal demons. The good news for me is that I don’t feel any compulsion to date any else and I’m staying solid. I’m supportive but I do have a life on the side I totally love. I’ve also booked hols with kids and family I am looking forward to going to. Let’s see how this week goes 😊… I don’t make long term plans at all

I forgot…Dhama…yaaaaaaayyy for good sexy times girl 😈😈😈

Mila14

gosh like you need MORE problems on top
of existing ones
but also healthy you are feeling good and sane and not dating others

as you said see how this all unfurls x

So yesterdays date went well with #3, very nice lady, 2 adult kids - slightly different outlook on life to me, I’m glass half full kinda person (normally ), she was a bit not so much, seeing her again on Friday for lunch, but I think she is probably not for me.

@NoDatingForOldMen always a win if it's a good date. I'm pleased for you!

Why are you seeing her again if she's not for you? Do you know what you're looking for this time round?

She’s nice, common age, interesting background, same kinda culture experiences, all very pleasant.
did I want to jump on her, no, not really.
Lunch is going to be good, she has suggested a place I don’t know.

Do you know what you're looking for this time round?

no, but I think I have more of an idea about what I don’t want, as the therapist would suggest

😂
I've realised that I'm not that nervous anymore either.

I, obviously, make an effort and dress up, do my makeup and hair but nowhere near how I did at first. Also, all bar two, have just been first dates.

I'm a bit pissed off with Mr 11, in the cab home he was just about to say he enjoyed himself but not like that. I stopped him and said it's ok.

When I was in I messaged thanks to him and what a great time I'd had but I understood I wasn't his cup of tea. Didn't hear anything so I sent another message saying I hope you got home ok? He lives about 25 minutes away by taxi and to drop me a message to say he's got home. He read them at about 10.30am and no response. I just think that's so rude!!

We had a really fun night. A little bit of a kiss. Held hands when looking for a taxi. Then he had his hand on my leg in the taxi. WTAF? I know he wasn't bowled over by me but a simple - all ok I had a good time too was all I expected 🤷‍♀️

@NoDatingForOldMen I completely understand what you mean.

I don't know exactly what I want but I know completely what I don't.

Definitelycross

maybe I’m brutal but I totally don’t bother texting if the date wasn’t great
no malice but if we both know what’s the point ?

i wish them well but totally cannot see the point of a thanks but no thanks text exchange when it’s clear from both sides

I’m turning into a 👻

I'm very much in the camp of not wanting to know if they don't want to see me again

I'd 100% prefer silence rather than negative feedback I haven't asked for

Thought I might as well post my experiences.

Been on Happn for a year or under. Not really had many dates or been that interested.

Have had a couple of men 10 years younger be interested in mostly sex. One of them I swear was a scammer as he mentioned Forex/Bitcoin after a few messages.

I did have 2 dates with a nice man recently but on the second date he mentioned something I wasn’t happy with. I actually quite liked him apart from that but then I think he either cooled off or maybe we weren’t suited. He also mentioned past anger issues (said he was over this) which I don’t really want to deal with either.

@Definitelycross i think the trouble is if he didnt see a spark, he didnt think you were worth bothering about afterwards. It's rubbish but those who are decent enough would actually have made sure you were home ok, most just treat people as disposable.

@Thisisworsethananticpated why would you put yourself through a sex date when it clearly crushed you. He didnt even contact you. You have to be quite tough to be able to separate the emotional side from the physical and who doesnt want someone to say "god that was amazing, lets do it again" rather than silence. You deserve better or you need to have a heart of stone.

LostidentityM

in simple terms I wanted to be sexual with another
and I did and that side was a success (fuck knows how but it was )
I also get a vicarious thrill from being a bit wanton time to time

but , I shan’t repeat !

See I felt totally like that.

We shared a taxi back to my place before he stayed in and went home. The reason I think what I do is that he turned to me in the taxi and said - well Deffy....

I just stopped him and said it was ok there was nothing he needed to say. That's why I messaged that I'd had a good night but knew I wasn't his type.

Maybe I'll go back to ghosting. I just thought it wasn't kind but then I agree I don't want shitty feedback either.

I'm finding it hard to explain. But yes maybe I need to keep myself more at arms length.

In the meantime Mr8 (think he might be married - don't know why) has been back in touch. Physically we clicked so much but I just can't go there if he is

Stayed in the taxi. Not in my house at all

i like all that too BUT i do feel shitty when they arent falling for me madly afterwards so im not cut out for it.

LostidentityM

yeah- I didn’t feel bad that he wasn’t falling for me , as I knew I felt the same way
And took a calculated risk

so my egos fine as it was amicable

and , won’t be repeating !

Definitelycross

maybe you need shorter dates if this is to continue ? So fast drink or coffee then back to relieve the babysitter (!)

would it have made it easier ?

They're usually like this.

Last night we went out for drinks and I'd eaten nothing since breakfast. Really, really bad idea 🤦‍♀️

Tbh I'm not feeling any of this OLD just now. I find it ironic when I'm getting loads of attention I'm really feeling meh about absolutely everything to do with it.

I'm still in touch with Mr Friday who is out of the country just now. I like him a lot. He's kind and makes me laugh. And, unusually for me, I chat to him on the phone.

No more contact with anyone else.

One guy wanted to move to WhatsApp so I asked for his number and full name. He was all - god I've never been asked that. Are you going to check me out lol - well fuck yeah. I've had some experiences with OLD that I'm not ready to talk about yet but they've made me incredibly nervous. So yes, if you don't understand that then off you fuck.

I think we can be really vulnerable

So I have a question about asking for a meet on OLD, nothing serious, just curious really

I have noticed that it’s generally me that asks for a meet, even if was the woman who messaged me 1st, do women generally wait for the guy to suggest a meeting, even if you are the one to message 1st ?

Yes. Definitely.

I've suggested it once and they then went on to make me feel like I'd thrown myself at them.

So now I wait.

Equality my arse 😂😂

Agreed, I always wait for a man to suggest a meet, even if I’ve messaged him first.

I'm not sure how to play my next stint on OLD

Met the last one, let's call him MrNoEffort, on Hinge but it's deathly quiet in there

Thinking of maybe paying extra for tinder so I'm only visible to ppl I swipe right on

Still feeling very guilty for blocking MrNoEffort. Although one of his crimes was to get into bed one night, turn his back on me and play on his phone for 30-45 mins . So I really shouldn't .

I've got a few periods of time coming up where I have no plans and have already exhausted my own friends plus meet-up etc so maybe I should get some dates booked in 🤷‍♀️

Ditto…when it’s not right better to erase and move on. No message from either side

Although one of his crimes was to get into bed one night, turn his back on me and play on his phone for 30-45 mins .

@qqq82 …WHAT THE FUCK??? Honestly…total wanker. Did he take you to the theatre and dinner next day…no?? Why do women put up with shit like this?