Dating Thread 239 - spring fling

[Thisisworsethananticpated]

I couldn’t think of a decent as it’s been so fractious ! Will post rules shortly

@Slothmomma oh no way !
I know that gut feeling all too well
Why do they do this ? Why piss about with other's feelings when they're 'not ready' which in my experience always translates to they're still involved with someone else

The usual - haven't processed breakdown of long marriage/being cheated on properly. Scared of being alone but scared of getting into a relationship. Heads a mess personally and professionally etc etc

I did question whether it was too soon yo be dating at outset as split with wife June last year. Told me initially was fine as had been over 12 months prior and just friends. Found out she actually cheated so not as clear cut as he indicated. Hence why I pushed to find out what he was actually looking for as I'm done with make do flings

Sorry @PinkIdentity so not location place - more his head isn't right at moment

Hand on heart @qqq82 and Slothy …I also dated 8 months…many men…without being ready. I was still in love with MrEx so I feel really bad when I see tweets like this…We should not date until we are properly ready but we just want to fill a hole by looking to date too quickly. At least now I learnt I will only be dating as and when I am totally ready.

Slothmomma

as I’m sorry
I’ve used that line before and what it CAN mean is
‘im not over my ex . I want to be ,I’m trying to be , but I’m just not ‘

its very bruising and disappointing as you liked him I know xx

Sorry to hear this @Slothmomma x

I'll be ok. I've been where he is but that's why I didn't date for thr first 2 years. I did like him and we got on well but hopefully there's similar out there that is ready to date

Slothy…if it’s any consolation…I’d say he’s not ready for anyone. But you still were able to match with him. There are still guys you fancy and like and they match with you. There’s something good in that he told you the truth before it went any further. Big hugs lovely

another deflated update. I absolutely screwed things up with the one person I have really liked in an awfully long time. I am such an idiot

What happened???

Garysmum…what happened??

I could blame the alcohol or the painkillers but we had a great time until I felt completely overwhelmed, lost the ability to string a sentence together and effectively ran off home without really having said why. Not heard anything since - I have tried to explain myself by text but not been picked up.
I was feeling happier and more confident than I have felt in years so it's completely out of character. It's almost as if I couldn't cope with things being good.

Please reach out to him…I would love to get an explanation if I was this guy. Painkillers and alcohol or just feeling overwhelmed because you are loving his company…it’s ok to explain yourself and be vulnerable. I don’t understand people who always are sure of themselves and never feel bad about not having a good day. No one thinks less of you because you were not at your best in your date…happens to everyone at some point

Garysmum

please don’t beat yourself up
so you had something of a reaction to the alcohol , painkillers and emotion stirred up

this fucked up shit happens

you’ve apologised and it happened
andnif he doesn’t respond give him space , be sincere but also accept maybe he won’t reply as it didn’t work for him , or made him sad , or he needs to think

but right now be KIND to yourself

@Garysmum give him some time and then see if he'll listen

@Slothmomma Hearing this always make me feel really cross. I think they talk nonsense. Happy to have sex with who ever is willing, happy to create false hopes - but quite acceptable to dispose at will because ‘they are not ready’ Not ready for what exactly???!! Another person? We are not machines. Am sorry. Disappointing.

Just to make ppl feel better, I have been taking to a women online, localish, adult children, works at a Uni, all good, she disappeared suddenly ( that’s pretty normal actually), then reappeared yesterday, said a relation had been taken to hospital suddenly, okay fair enough,

Turned the relation was her 20 year older husband (74), he has no interest in sex anymore ( and a dodgy heart it seems), and see is looking to outsource the sex part of her marriage !

you couldn’t make this shit up !

Unbelievable…I can’t even comprehend it Howlongy. I thought these things were just tabloid fodder but they do happen. For those of us who need a connection and a relationship to enjoy sex things are getting very complicated indeed

NoDatingForOldMen

Im afraid that I totally beleive it
maybe I’ve been around the block too many times
she’s been honest I suppose 😑 how long were you chatting before she dropped this wee bombshell ?

relative in hospital 😂😁😁
no shit

Just what?

So there are women out there who do that too?

Awful

Only a few days but over a period of about 2 weeks, we matched, chit chat for a bit, then she disappeared for a few days (that’s normal really), then she messaged after a few days saying a relative was in hospital, okay so that’s fair enough, I have been there, disappeared again for about 5 days, reappeared last night,

At 1st I thought it was her75 year old Father in hospital, but was actually her 75 year old Husband , WTF..

NoDatingForOldMen

I don’t want to say this as it’s ageist

but eeewwwww that’s older than my dad would be

you’d be a young stallion buck for her

@NoDatingForOldMen
Wow! 20 year age gap. I thought the 10 years between my stbx and I was bad! People often thought he was my dad! A 20 year age gap is just NO!

@TeaandLemonDrizzle I dated a man 17 years my senior. He was 62 I was 45. Strangely worked well. We are still very much in touch.

@Boomerang124
I know it can work especially if the elder of the two is very young at heart. My grandparents had a 13 year age gap and were very happily married (with 5 children) until my grandfather died. My grandmother pined for him for years.