Dating Thread 235... Gird those loins for November

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

meaningful relationship
don’t put this in your profile, just a big no

Im insecure about mine every day despite being told it’s perfectly okay

really every single day ? Gosh that’s alot of days to worry about one organ that’s clearly doing what’s it’s supposed to

maybe time to box that away (the worry !)

The first person (and only sadly) man I slept with after my marriage break up stopped me just as we were about to DTD and said he had a very small penis.

Now to be fair it was but it did the job. I just felt so sorry for him that he thought it was a deal breaker.

The deal breaker was actually too much alcohol continuously so no sex at all.

Ah but I've been sent nudes so some men love their penises - my ex husband was inordinately proud of his and his 'prowess' 🙄
But he was just one huge penis anyway

Funny that. My ex was super proud of his too - and he was a massive dick as well 🤔 also he thought having a big penis was all he had to bring to the table, not one clue how to use it properly…..

Second date with MrCars tonight as I'm in the big city for an all day work thing he'll travel in for food afterwards. I got cold feet on the logistics last night as felt like a lot of effort for a couple of hours school night fun plus will have left the teens and dog home alone for a lonnnnng day but he was very very keen (insistent).

Have never heard of penis insecurities before. Never occurred to me that people might be shy of such a thing.

The one bloke I've slept with who had the smallest chipolatta was the one time I've orgasmed through PIV. The two blokes who had ED ended up binning me swiftly after (not the other way round). Everyone else (and there have been many over the decades despite a twenty year monogamous marriage) have had adequate or large.
I much prefer the adequates thanks as the larger ones can hurt.
But it's not all about size it's about not being lazy or selfish in the sack. It's about making it a two way equal dance (for me). Fellas who lie back and need you to do all the work or flip you around taking you every way they can think of get a low rating 👎

Hoping to test the missing with MrCars on meeting so we don't have pre-snog tension all through dinner. He's been very mentiony of hugs and kissing (and cuddles, spooning and massages) on the texts since we met so no doubting he's wanting to get physical with me but I'm not yet convinced of him. The kissing compatibility could be a deal breaker so will be very sad if it's dire.

*kissing. Obvs not missing 🙄

Welcome to being a man, lesson 101
really interesting-thanks Howlongy
iIt was before he would get naked or DTD and there was ED which is now much less frequent now he is growing in confidence and can see how much I enjoy it. Also now more spontaneous erections outside the bedroom situation so seems was lack of practice (apparently no sex at all for years) and lack of confidence rather than medical issue.

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss

when you say convinced , you clearly like him so you mean sexual chemistry wise ?

sending good luck 🤞

Good luck Oncey…all rooting for you. I agree with Howlongy about not putting “meaningful relationship “ in profile. If a guy writes that, chances are he desperately wants to get laid IMHO.

Penis issues…I agree with posters…some have a nice big hard one and don’t know how to work it and I have now seen ED and DE is a problem and I had no idea before. i think one of the reasons I’ve gone without “toys” for so long is because MrEx has the right big appendage and it’s marvellous in bed. We’ve only not had sex at all 5 months so really…that’s the longest I’ve been apart from Mr Ex.
I totally expect I will need other things and patience with any other man should MrEx and I not work things out. I’ve DTD with 2 men since I started dating…erm…really…no comparison in any way.

Wow Jangolina …I love the spontaneous “hello?” when you are out and about with your man… enjoy 😊

@JangolinaPitt as I have got older I have found that sex is more about self confidence and having a good connection, the 1st couple of times with NoShow were nothing to write home about - she had not been with anyone for a while and has a bit of a mum-tum thing that she was nervous about and I was a bit unsure about “performance “, so we’re both a worried about what the other would think 🤔

Sounds like maybe he had the same kinda thing and now you have passed that phase.

the other thing would be try and keep the connection going and just have more regular sex ( sounds obvious) but I have found that helps keeps things “active “

I am so over being self conscious about my body which is funny really as now 50, the biggest I've ever been and gravity 🙄
I wish I'd been like this through my twenties (and marriage tbh). Hey ho.

Im not convinced by MrCars because (a) we've not kissed 'properly' and (b) I've only known of his existence for 10 days. Feels like much longer given the frequency (very very very) and intensity of our comms but as it moves forward I'm noticing things he says make sometimes make me 🙄🤨 so I'm no longer guilty of deciding on first meet whether he is My Guy but these days take a 'let's see' approach to it all with nil expectations or hopes.

I love that. It's not just me.

You begin to see things that make you go - oh really 🙄 but at the beginning you put up with it.

Guys I've met have felt like this too.

I wonder if I'm so grateful that someone fancies me that I turn a blind eye to icks. Then I suddenly realise and think - I deserve better.

Oh and the mum tum - I hate mine so much and it's been a real barrier for me. In my marriage too.

Good luck @Oncey! Hope it goes well!

Yes, totally agree and have not put any reference to meaningful relationship in my profile. As someone else posted, what does that mean anyway?! I think I would just like to have a relationship with someone that lasted more than a month or two!

There's so many different kinds of relationships and for me the connection is the most important thing and just having someone be there for you. Got to get back in the saddle...

I meant to say I've felt like this with guys I've met up with too 🤦‍♀️

Like they say things and after I think ohmygod Definitely why didn't you say how you really feel.

I can't remember who said it earlier, but you're not being picky with the misuse of you/your/you're. I have unmatched every single person who says would of. It is mind boggling to me that I as a non native English speaker can take the time out to get it right and many just don't bother.

Another send the tall men my way please. I am 5ft 10 and like wearing heels and all the cute guys just seem to be 5ft 8/9!

Indeed 😁😁😁😁😁

I’ve spent much of my life being hardline on misuse of basic grammar/spelling but have chilled out a lot about it since realising such “shortcomings” are often to do with eg dyslexia and absolutely no indication of a lack of intellect.

Clearly if delivered in a context of ill-considered opinion and general idiocy, unmatching makes sense.

I noticed Mr2Pugs made a couple of there/their and your/you’re mistypes early on. I almost let him go, but nobody’s perfect. I did it myself yesterday, and he hasn’t replied. Maybe that’s why!?😉 (It’s not. He said he was expecting an awful week at work. Although 48 hours is a long time for him. Maybe I really have been ghosted over grammar! 🤣)

Don’t worry Eeky…you get that Friday night organised and see what Mr2pugs has on offer 😉

Agree with this, life is short to die on a hill of misspelling

2 pugs needs to shake his thang ….

Come ON Mr2Pugs. We are ALL on tenter hooks (or is that tender hooks i never know...) here. Sort. It. Out!