Dating Thread 232 - Loving Ourselves First

[SortingItOut]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Thanks everyone 💐

Northern cheater has just messaged me telling me he's back down here with a view to meeting. I replied that I was on apps looking to date single people, which he had said he was, and not to unwittingly/unknowingly become the bit on the side whilst he was away from home and away from his girlfriend (name). I wished him good luck as I had a feeling he's going to need it and have now blocked him everywhere 😡

wow Slothmum …what did he say ??? Did he try to explain himself?? You gave him a good slap in the face. He must be feeling like the shit he is 😂😂😂

@Mila14 I didn't give him opportunity. He's read it but I've blocked. There's no justification from him. It's very clear from his and her fb profiles that they are loved up together and even if in an open relationship he should have said and not claimed to be single. I don't need to hear it

Good job you checked him thoroughly 👍🏼

Just deleted tinder , what a headache. Will keep hinge and bumble for now

Fair play @Slothmomma, well done.

It’s so predictable and disappointing when they are straight into the apps or onto someone else like within hours, or minutes of the break up. I think it’s more to do with show than them really have moved on but what they don’t realise is that they completely fuck it up themselves as we always know they’ve done that then there’s less chance of trying to fix things!! (Speaking from my own experience!)

@SortingItOut don’t torment yourself with paro thoughts I dont think he had any pre conceived intention of breaking up with you at all it was a silly snap decision in that moment he didnt have another person, you only met all his friends and people and everything in recent months…

Me too why would you want to sit indoors with someone… id think they were boring, unimaginative and/or tight wadded 😅

I could not do Tinder either…totally understand

Levithecat

well that’s a rather lovely update

ahhh 😌
my scarred heart is touched
good luck with surgery

ButterflyOfShay
7 trains
2 flights
20000 steps
two taxis

im actually proud of myself for not getting mega anxious this time

LuckyLinda3

that’s a shitty thing to find out

now , I’ve been know to react impulsively and reactively when I feel hurt - so I could imagine myself doing that after a few red wines

im not condoning his actions by the way , not at all

next time he send a friendly text (he will …) I’d be tempted to say ‘go text one of your POF bitches and leave me in peace please ‘

but that’s really shit advice 😂🙈

Slothmomma

good work.
he’ll be sweating like crazy now and
working on his online profiles and privacy settings as we speak I bet

bellend

Starting to see red flag on Mr O. He’s been weird today. Called me and only wants to talk sex…? He’s had a bad afternoon with a friend who’s having a major crisis and only wanted to go “light”…hmmm…I want to have sex but I want the partnership too. I don’t know what to think but this has opened my eyes
On the other hand he feels extremely happy and values life a lot after what happened to him.
I don’t want to over think
I’m seeing him on Friday night!!

@Mila14 hmm - maybe just a blip if he's had a rough day? After such a short time of knowing each other there's probably not really the depth of knowledge and understanding you need to give him comfort as a partner, so he's gone for the sexual approach as he knows you're in tune with him in that area.

You're aware of it now, and can just file it away for after the weekend to see if it's a one off or a more revealing trait.

@Mila14 id feel the same… good for noticing.. it all sounds slightly frantic/manic with him..? As you say, at this point it’s something to pay attention to but see how Friday goes.

As you said he’s new to dating, do you think he’s getting a little overexcited at it all?

We’re all different and I’m not bothered about sexchat once I’m seeing someone and know there’s substance between us but until then I find it a bit sleazy.

@Slothmomma you totally slayed him - great work.

@Mila14 he's probably just a little over excited and after a bad day went to a good place 😉 but you've logged it so just stay alert

I did wonder why cheater deleted our match so quickly after we moved to whatsapp but I assume once he'd snared a victim he deleted so no awkward notifications popping up on his phone etc. Having been cheated on and thus despising the ow as much as my ex I really take offence at someone trying to make me a bit on the side - unknowingly 😡 I really hope he's sweating tonight as the girlfriend is way too good for him anyway and has clearly given him ideas above his station 😄

@ibelieveinmirrorballs He’s now at a friends house and says he can only think of me.🙄
I like sex chat if I have super chemistry and that happened only a few times ( count with one hand) in my dating life. I enjoy it with him but was just bewildered as I was doing maths with DD!! Sometimes is not the right time
I need to see how everything goes but I am an expert in running away if anything is not right.

I am very clear from the start I am divorced. I don’t even want to date guys who are getting separated if I can avoid it. I’m upfront about that and the fact I am looking for a relationship, not a FB. I think it’s really frustrating people lie consistently about what stage they are at in a separation ( if any) or are simply in a relationship or married and do not disclose this. It’s really despicable. Maybe after you caught him he will think twice about doing it again with someone else. I think it’s brilliant you escaped too

I have every faith you can handle it and do the right thing @Mila14.

There’s been a time when I would have loved someone to say that to me re him only being able to think of you while at a friend’s house. I am a haggard old cynic now because I just don’t believe it’s a good sign any more for someone to be so all-consumed so early on.

Not long till the weekend when you can get the measure of him face to face… how have you left things with MrA now? Just asking out of curiosity…. 😬

@ibelieveinmirrorballs …MrA still wants to see me. He doesn’t mind I want to date and see other people. He feels we should stay connected and he wants me to get the dating guys out of my system…he feels he met me too early on my search. He’s been single 4 years so he has had his fair share. He’s left me alone today and no messages. I really don’t want to go back him even if it goes wrong with MrO because I didn’t choose him over MrO and that says he’s not the one. He sees things differently I think.
MrO and I are very very consumed but somehow it feels natural??? I know this is weird but it just does?? I think it’s absolutely wonderful to date when you have your own home and your own life but there are important bits to share. He has a lot more free time than me though and lives alone as DC have flown the nest. I’m in a different phase with my DC. Kids come always first too

That’s incredible, well done you… any good looking italians to add to those metrics? 😅