Tell me about the weirdest, wackiest,strangest, bestest, nightmareish bloke you have ever been with?

[charliecat]

How did it start, begin, when did you realise, and how did it end?

went to return a radio which was not working at a shop, the salesman would not let me return it, so i demanded to speak to the manager, who turned out to be the owner, the salesman his son, his father said i was feisty and asked me if i could go out with his son i said yes, so went out two days later and he ordered all courses in two's and demanded that they came out at the same time, he polished everything, after that i realised we could only be friends.

racist homophobic cross dresser. Say no more..

actually should clarify that I knew he was a crossdresser when we first went out. No problem whatever. The racism/homophobia stuff came out later.

Oh and then I found out he was a smack user (how did I forget that???)

omg domesticgodless.. I wonder if we have the same ex?

although I didn't know about the crossdressing for nearly a year, likewise the other stuff

Was quite taken by one young man, he was polite charming, kind, considerate and treated me like I was the most beautiful girl on earth...but as I was the only one who has passed thier driving test we didn't see each other very much and I thought it was quite a casual see-how-it-goes kind of thing...

until he invited me over one Sunday, I assumed (wrongly) that his parents would be out and we could get some serious teenage fumbling done only to find his entire family including aunts, uncles gran and grampa gathered round the special Sunday lunch to meet me

After that, his family loved me apparently, he was almost on the verge of a bl**dy proposal I'm sure, so I let him down as gently as I could and scarpered!

Cue loads of love letters and phonecalls etc. He even came to my 18th birthday party with some friends who he hadn't told we'd split up because he thought I'd change my mind.

he was a lovely guy but ready for hte marriage, kids, pipe and slippers at 18!

When I was much much younger than I am now and I got chatted up in Oxford and asked out by one of Robert Maxwell's sons.

I said no.

My (male) friend who with me at the time said to me, "Why not go out with him? His father is very rich"

I once bonked someone with a 1" thingummy which had a 3 inch foreskin hanging off the end - and it was fully erect

yuk

I think fatbelly, domesticgoddess and me all have the same bloke in mind

It's so hard to narrow it down (I suppose I can't include dh? )

Ok. well, it would have to be erm, erm

The Farter.

He had a penis that was about 4 inches long but the girth of a pencil. Honestly. And it was a funny colour too. It looked just like a pepperami. And, as the name suggests, he farted. Constantly. Including mid shag. (in my defence I was drunk. Very, very drunk) He smelt of farts and like he was sweating out last night's beer (if you've ever come across that smell, you'll know! ) And all he could talk about was how rich he was and everything he'd got (yeah, right, that's why he lived in a council bedsit and I bought most of the drinks and he was wearing crap clothes....)

Anyway. The next day I'd sobered up and was trying to decide whether to have a bath in neat bleach, or to accept the futility of it and just hang myself.....

His MATE comes round and asks me if I'll shag X again.

I think I eloquently conveyed the message that this was most unlikely to happen.

I met this bloke on the internet and on our first date he bought his little black bag of fetish stuff and wanted to tie me up [fshaock]

It turned out ok though,

I married him

The weirdest I can think of was a bloke I met out clubbing.
Seemed really nice, walked me and my friends home, asked me out for lunch a couple of days later. All well and good......until.....

About a week into this he started picking me from college, thought nothing of it. Then he started picking me up from work to take me home. I lived 2 minutes walk away! It progressed to I couldn't go anywhere on my own, he had to take me. All in the space of 2 weeks!
I told him one day as he took me to college that I needed space, I had always been independant and that I was finding him suffocating. I got home from college to find him in my living room talking to my mum about me moving into his parents with him with a bunch of roses in his hands. I WAS 17!!!

I ended that PQD.

When I was 16 I went out with someone who started on about getting married, having a baby, and getting a place of our own. I pointed out - er, I'm 16. You are 17. No.

He cried.

Oh, where do I start?

anywhere you want

I met this really strange guy when I was in London on holiday for the first time, July 1991. He was bisexual and really very attractive. He told me he was a scorned Tudor descendent, been just about held hostage in a flat in Kensington where he was a rent boy, and even former pm had been to shag him. He had escaped, and had people with guns after him. He found a job as a chef in a bar, and left the youth hostel one morning to go the airport to pick up his other bag which was in storage prior to moving into the staff accommodation at the pub (I came with him for the interview so knew where it was). He never turned up to the job, they called and asked for him. I phoned his parents a few months later as I was really curious, they hadnt heard from him since july, and was really concerned. I later got a call from the hostel informing me that police had been around asking for him as he was reported missing.

I didnt go out with this boy, but, I had a friend in my younger teens, who apparently had a huge crush on me. He'd follow me everywhere, write me suicidal love letters, and as a present he made me one of these which he engraved on it "love M"

Really strange.

VVVQV - please can you check your email

VVVQV - somebody is looking for you, check active convos

xpost

A religious maniac - met him at a mutual friend's wedding, he seemed like an OK guy, witty with a dry sense of humour. He was wearing what could best be described as a shiny astronaut jumpsuit but I wasn't deterred, I usually like them a bit unconventional... (Oh, hindsight is a wonderful thing!)

Anyway, fast forward to a couple of months later when I finally go to stay at his place (he lived in a different town to me). I walk in and am greeted by innumerable photos of this oriental man. "Oh, Mao Tse Tung" says I. It was actually Reverend Moon of Moonies fame. I thought whatever rocks your boat and all that, as long as you don't impose it on me and all that.

Anyway to keep it brief he decided one day I was a wicked temptress, tried to get me to shave my head etc etc. Once when he went out by himself I had a bit of a snoop in his drawers and found a form he'd filled in for a wife to be assigned to him in one of those group weddings they have - he'd written "must be western European and have a nice body..." He'd been speaking to his spiritual guide or whatever they're called and I obviously wasn't the right material for a saintly life.

He did end up marrying someone assigned to him by the sect, but not with the nice body he was after. He's still a nutter but we still exchange texts at Xmas.

TY!