Tell me about the weirdest, wackiest,strangest, bestest, nightmareish bloke you have ever been with?

[charliecat]

How did it start, begin, when did you realise, and how did it end?

This thread has been really entertaining me all day.

Needless to say I have a few shockers of my own.

The Passive Aggressive Psycho (PAP) for short was OBSESSED with anal sex. Turning your back on this man could result in a painful 'surprise'...and yes, I do mean what you're probably thinking. Horrible. What a freak....

Then there was Mr Creepy Stalker..."Forty Second Rule" man...

Am intrigued by forty second rule man!

PMSL at some of these

My weirdie first boyf cried - ALOT (I was 15, he was 18). We had a row one day at his Grandma's. He ran off and I couldn't find him. Me and his sister spent an hour looking for him.

She found him.

He had got into the boot of his car to cry and got locked in.

P.M.S.L.

Lol

ROFL at "go on then evel kneivel"

I had another weirdy stalker boy when I was 13. He asked me out over and over and no matter how many times I said no it didnt sink in. He kept picking flowers from neighbours gardens and posting them through the letterbox and running away.

HE'd send love letters that would end with how he would kill himself if I didnt go out with him (seems to be a running theme here).....

Then he changed his name to Axle...oh dear god.......

Sorry walkinginaWILKIE..

That made me LOL as well. What a prat!

Forty second rule man was a chap that I met for a date.

When we met up I knew straight away that I didn't fancy him but thought don't judge, spend some time chatting cos he might be a great person to talk to.

Well he was funny and clever..I really started warming up to him. We agreed to move on somewhere for a drink.

Ha;fway there he stops me in the middle of the pavement and says 'WHat do you think of the Forty Second Rule?'

I thought whaaaat.....?

Eventually he blurted out 'You know what I'm asking...do you fancy me?' I felt really put on the spot and said the ususal cop out phrase 'well I think you're a nice person but no'. He said 'RIGHTOKBYE' and ran off in the opposite direction. I was pretty nonplussed.

Then the texts started....

When I was 17, there was this bloke I fancied for ages. We finally copped off in a club, and when we snogged his tongue would dart in and out of my mouth like some kind of small rodent.
Didn't last.

Then of course, there is the facelicker, I'm sure I can't be the only girl who was lucky(?) enough to get one of those.

Oh yes, did i mention licking armpits?

Armpits, noooooo!

Oh yes.

That is wrong, on so many levels. Blimey charliecat, you really attract them!

rolls off seat laughing

charliecat you promised it was our secret

Is that with the strap on Lou or without?

with of course

Sorry Lou...

just dont do it again ok?

ok;) Now back to these fantastic men we have loved and lost.......

went out with a guy when i was 14 for a year and a half he was really nasty at times but threatened to kill himself if i left him.6 months after i split up with him he did,though i know it was nothing to do with me he was very messed upalso had a stalker who kpt telling everyone we were a couplei do attract them

Oh I had a stalker who kept phoning me at 5am every sodding morning. He was stalking about 6 other women at the same time.

OK here goes, just hope my mother doesn't read this

I went out with a guy who started normal but got weirder by the minute. We were both very inexperienced when we met so perhaps he was just experimental. He started to become obsessed with bum fun - usually his bum though. He bought me all manner of pvc clothes and vibrator things. Then he wanted me to shag him up the backside with a cucumber. He put a condom on the cucumber and for some reason I did it! He then took the condom off when he was finished and put the cucumber back in the fridge [urgh!]. Once he started to bring home more 'gifts' I tried fairly hard to get rid of him but he didn't take the hint. I think it was the giant black dildo with moving rubber foreskin that finally made me take action!

He was very well off but had a budget (set by his dad who was an accountant) and stuck ridgidly to it. If he was 1p short of a cinema ticket on a Sunday, we couldn't go to the cinema as he wouldn't spend more until Monday. Not even if I paid. We went on holiday together and it was awful. He was studying geology and went looking at rocks everywhere! He lived with a strange guy who was an ex drug addict who was studying divinity and lived his life by a strict timetable. This bloke ate the same food for every meal - some tomato tuna thing that apprently had the perfect balance of nutrients. mind you, this flatmate was really handy and locked me in his room when my bloke came at me with a knife when I split up with him!

Anyway, me sleeping with someone else finally got rid of him. Then he stalked me for a bit then I heard nothing until a year or so ago when he found me on FR, wrote to me to tell me he was married, I responded and he never got back to me.

I kind of felt sorry for him. There was something not quite right...

suzi -I think the worst bit of yours (knife attack aside) is putting the cucumber back in the fridge!! Please tell me he didn't make a salad with it afterwards...

You realise you could all probably get money from "Take A Break" for these.

lol, I have no idea what happened to it. I don't eat cucumber thankfully. He was so stingy that I expect he ate it though.

Suzi - After chilling, perhaps it was sliced to provide cucumber eye patches to sooth his watering eyes .