Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Tell me about the weirdest, wackiest,strangest, bestest, nightmareish bloke you have ever been with?

135 replies

charliecat · 13/12/2007 16:43

How did it start, begin, when did you realise, and how did it end?

OP posts:
PirateInaPeartree · 14/12/2007 13:45

once went out with a policeman, he was very very handsome.

I was 22 he was late 30's.

He had been to the Falklands, and soon I was to be introduced to his gun colleciton, um, he was actaully in that footage Of The Port Stanley siege, erm, then he began to get quite weird after about 2months.

Then one day he picked on someone just to get a rise so he could falsh his badge, and when I stormed off he proceeded to hit me in front of a queue of traffic outside my flat.

I was completeyl in love with this guy, and can see how people can be drawn in by, macho/needy wankers.

wow, thats the first time I have thought of him in yrs.

watch out if you live in south east london thats all I can say. !!

ShakeysGirl · 14/12/2007 13:47

My dp is a bit odd, he likes make up, womens clothes, is 40% bi (his words) and is an elvis impersonater! But he's fantastic and i love that he's so open minded. Went on a blind date once. Met him at his hotel took one look at him and thought omg! Got half way to the date and when the taxi stopped at a red light i jumped out and ran away! Poor man. Don't know what it was about him but he made my skin crawl [shudder]

Domesticgodlessyoumerrygents · 14/12/2007 13:50

Shakeysgirl I want to marry your dp. Dh is not gay enough.

Domesticgodlessyoumerrygents · 14/12/2007 13:51

piffle, omg

claricebeansmumhasnomincepies · 14/12/2007 13:56

Nightmarish - the one who slashed his wrists the night I dumped him

The signs were there - coke addict, alcholic, a lot of issues but somehow I missed them.

I was around 23 - whole thing makes me feel really quite unhappy

eternalstudent · 14/12/2007 14:09

I used to go out with a bloke who would keep saying 'I love you' really menacingly whilst we were shagging and then try and throttle me.

I didn't think much of it at the time but maybe he was a bit strange.

Of more concern to me was his love for 'Fields of the Naphalyn' (sp???). The writing was on the wall... we split up after a couple of months

Domesticgodlessyoumerrygents · 14/12/2007 14:16

eeeeeek!

happystory · 14/12/2007 14:18

Again, met v good looking bloke in a club (I was 21) he told me his name, guess what his surname as the same as mine , good talking point, blah blah. Saw him a couple of times. Told me he was studying sports science at the same university as me and that he'd been an extra in 'Chariots of fire'

Stood me up a couple of times then so that was that. Saw him a few weeks later in another club,he was the bouncer, a mate who knew of him said his name wasnt what he'd told me and he was a bouncer not a student.

Still wonder how he knew my name.....shudder

UnquietDad · 14/12/2007 14:25

I'm so tempted to start a "weird wacky women you have dated/shagged" thread in the Men's - er, I mean in dadsnet!

Thing is, I bet plenty of us like wacky. Zany, kooky, fluffy, flaky. In theory. If they are in a film and played by Cameron Diaz.

I wonder how many "this mad, ditzy bitch stalked me for ages and begged me to sleep with her! So I said.... okay... and she was pretty hot" type stories we'd get

One bloke I know dumped a woman because she "assaulted him with her breasts". Quite seriously. I wasn't sure what to say. It was a choice between "Are you gay?" and "Have you got her phone number?"

I love the "Frank" one. Reminds me of Alan Partriuge's stalker episode. Did he have a lifesize tattoo of Ol' Blue Eyes on his chest?

jesuswhatnext · 14/12/2007 14:26

i went out with a guy on the friday night, on the saturday night he showed me his new tattoo - MY NAME - ON HIS LEG i thought it was a bit too 'committed' after 24 hours so i ditched him, always have wondered what he covered that tat with!

another guy stalked me for months, told my dad that he would ride his motorbike of a cliff if i didn't go out with him, dad, being the sympathetic soul he is just said 'piss off then evel knival(sp)'

considering i'm now on my 3rd husband you can tell it took me a long time to learn my lessons and stop marrying weirdos

goingfrigginchristmascrazy · 14/12/2007 14:26

Met a seemingly normal guy..saw him for a few weeks he flew out to meet me when I was on hols with mate,standard stuff-had a really good night out,came back to the hotel room where he started acting strangely-crying and being freaky-began to tell me his ex gf had accused him of rape,he wouldnt let me out of the hotel room and I had to calm him down while thinking how the f*ck do I get out of here..waited til he was fast asleep and legged it to my apartment-he turned up later in the day and was still freaking out-threatened him with calling the police and my friend and I hid in the apartment til he finally gave up and went away....horrible horrible

wessexgirl · 14/12/2007 14:31

ROFL at your dad, jesuswhatnext. Classic!

I once went out with a molecular physicist who had to do the same things at the same times every week without any deviation. So Sunday night was always Monopoly night, and Wednesday was always pub quiz. We never went out for a meal because he hated eating and said he wished somebody would invent a pill that would give you all the nutrition you needed.

I stuck it out for two months, but that was enough.

WeFrizYouaMerryChristmas · 14/12/2007 14:33

We met through work, he seemed normal, turned out after a month or two when I met is parents that he wasn't american afterall, but had that nice psycho disorder that makes people put on weird accents and pretend they're someone they're not ended shortly afterwards!

lou33 · 14/12/2007 14:34

oh UD please do

i'm sure i would some under that category, if any exbf's are on here

claricebeansmumhasnomincepies · 14/12/2007 14:45

I've just remembers so much this afternoon - feeling a bit dizzy...

...the one that had staff that packed his overnight bag...including the condoms!!

...the one that when we were talking very very vaguely about the possibility that perhaps in the future we could move in together and how that might change our relationship and he said "That would be great. In the evenings you could iron my shirts whilst I go down the pub". Once I had picked myself up off the floor I was out of there like a shot...

...the one I went out with for over a year but would not have sex with me but would occasionally have sex with someone else????

CoteDAzur · 14/12/2007 14:55

Fell in love with a very very handsome guy when I was 10 or so. "He" turned out to be a "she". I learned about this from my mother who was friends with his/her mother

Fell in love with a famous comic book artist/author who went on week-long alcohol binges 2-3 times a year which ended in rehab. During the binges, he would tell long and detailed stories like how he is actually a contract killer After a couple of years of this, I left. He published a story on this, and I was tracked down by several of his fans and harassed for giving him grief Great guy, though. A shame he is a part-time alcoholic.

Fell in love with a guy who, as I was driving to his place, warned me that his apartment is very 'clean'. True enough, lily white carpets, white walls, white furniture. White leather sofa & metal/glass table & chairs. A tv. And nothing else in the sitting room. No magazines lying around, no junk, no nothing.

So I married the guy and after several years with me and a baby together, he is desensitized to mess. Still tidies up DD's toys rather often, though

NotDoingTheHousework · 14/12/2007 15:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

OverMyDeadStuffedTurkey · 14/12/2007 16:04

notdoingthehousework! Sounds like a psycho.

I went out with a guy once who had 'help me' carved into his arm. I should have run a mile...

Swedes2Turnips1 · 14/12/2007 16:05

When I was 16 my boyfriend went off to Uni and one his school friends started giving me lifts to parties. He seemed nice at first but rapidly turned peculiar. He first offered me £5 to pretend to be his girlfriend at a family (his) party - no thanks. Then he offered me money (quite a lot at the time) to come and meet him from school - no thanks. Then silly me, I snogged another boy at a party - he saw and started to try and blackmail me. If I didn't let him feel my breasts he would tell my boyfriend about the extracurricular snog. Sounds ridiculous now, but at the time I was really stressed out by it. The creep (now a lecturer at a London Univ) tried to contact me a couple of years ago through FR - yeuch.

ShakeysGirl · 14/12/2007 17:33

DomesticGoddess he is fantastic he is also part of an entertainments team and thinks nothing of performing ymca on stage with 4 other lads on a sunday night or stripping for charity. Its so refreshing to be with him he's like a ray of sunshine

Original poster
charliecat · 14/12/2007 20:27

Hmm, Keep coming back to this thread hoping for more...heres one of mine, the bloke I lost my virginity to, well he was into bikes...we both were, when we were young, well, we went out for a while, split up, as you do and I saw him in a night club a few years later and he whispered in my ear...did you know you were my first? I said no, thats funny you were mine...we were both like Oh thats mad and that was that...
...few weeks later he turns up at my mums house, oh come in, have a natter bla bla, and hes tries it on...Er NO, says I ...he says ive been thinking about you since I saw you..I want to fuck you with this...

This being a dirty great big bike spanner with KING DICK on it.

OMFG.

OP posts:
southeastastra · 14/12/2007 20:31

that's er worrying cc!

my second bf was fatal. we were together for years, but we were stupid and young.

Original poster
charliecat · 14/12/2007 20:34

SEA ,cant be any worse than my likes it up the botty(to quote others earlier),cross dressing bloke of the moment Just waiting for the racist bits to appear now lol

OP posts:
southeastastra · 14/12/2007 20:40

up the botty lol

i'd freak if anyone suggested that!

pantoinghousewife · 14/12/2007 20:44

That botty fun quote had me chuckling all afternoon, that and the bungelow man!

Swipe left for the next trending thread