Dating thread 210 - thwarted hearts, fresh starts

[Shayelle2009]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Languidleopard and @SpringlikeBunk it’s really weird isn’t it? I mean why bother being on there and swiping on me but then not want to chat? Nothing’s ever going to happen unless you reply lol?!? They’re not even worldies they’re just bog standard old men?! 🤔

@Dropdeadfred2 another chancer then! Throw him back in the sea! I’d be fuming to have my friday night dicked about like that.

@Dropdeadfred2

Update : i didn't meet Mr Talker for a first date after date zero. He kept changing the time and eventually suggested i drive to his place fur a couple of hours ... that would involve a total of 3 hours driving in s Friday night for me... no chance!!

God that's frustrating. Haven't they figured out they're not going to get laid if they don't make an effort!! It's not about 'have a pizza at mine' or whatever ...

I don't think my heart is in it. I've got one who I messaged last night and he messaged straight back which should make me feel good but I just didn't know what to say so I've left it. It was so different with Mr Cricket and Computer Geek. It wasn't stilted and Computer Geek got my sarcasm straight away and batted it back, well if he would put topless and headless photos on what did he expect (he didn't fall from the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down either thankfully🤣).

Oh well off to the gym I go, hopefully moody hot gym guy has decided on a Saturday morning session today.

The non replying thing also seems to work the other way too in my experience .
80% ish of women I've matched with don't reply, of the rest most reply with a one word answer that pretty much ends the conversation there and then.
The final few might give 2-3 more replies before not bothering and 1 I'm still talking too ( I know lots about her from showing interest in what she's told me, but she still hasnt asked me much at all so not holding much hope)

And this is from matching , reading a profile and sending a message based on what she has in her profile (Again to hopefully show I'm not a bot or just after one thing ).

My hearts not in it either
I really thought finding a FWB would be easier than this !!!! Silly me

Let’s hope my rampant horn abates when my kids
Come back

I’m even horny on my period
Fucks sake !!!!

I’m deleting bumble as soon as it runs out of people. Such a waste of time and a confidence denter!!! Damnnnn 😔

So if bumbles shit
And tinder FULL of almost too many men

What’s next ?

I revert to my original suggestion @Thisisworsethananticpated.. we set up our own dating site 🤣🤣 it’s the only way!!

On a separate note and sorry to all the non-fans here but it’s the Love Island finale on Monday 😭 I didn’t half feel sorry for little Liberty, I thought she handled herself so well, and a good example of if a man’s being half arsed and you know his hearts not in it, cut it loose. Respect to her for that, lovely girl that one, she deserves happiness 💗

I think I'll join you in giving up @Shayelle2009 I'm obviously not meant to find one on the apps. There was a niceish guy in the gym this morning only problem was he had his socks pulled right up over his running tights! 😕 I have no problem with those as they hold everything in and he had shorts on over them but the pulled up socks are another thing. Is it the fashion or something as I've seen lots of people doing it? He did have quite a nice body as he just so happened to lift his top to use to wipe sweat off as I looked up.😅

Yeah I just went to gym and did some seductive stretching in the steam room 🤣

I’ve decided to really sort myself out
So hair regularly
Keep up the exercise
Keep up the push up bras 🤣
Get my varicose veins sorted (so not a good look)
Keep up my wanking so I don’t lose libido again

I don’t know what happened to me the last year

Forget the socks
Look at the torso !!!

@Thisisworsethananticpated

Yeah I just went to gym and did some seductive stretching in the steam room 🤣

I’ve decided to really sort myself out
So hair regularly
Keep up the exercise
Keep up the push up bras 🤣
Get my varicose veins sorted (so not a good look)
Keep up my wanking so I don’t lose libido again

I don’t know what happened to me the last year

This is a good manifesto 🙌🏽

Re the apps and giving up / going back on. This is the third time I've switched Bumble on and maybe 🤔 god loves a tryer or something but I've got the most amount of matches I've ever had.

I've no idea if any of them will turn into real dates or relationships but this time round I don't feel like I've been short changed or sleazed out.

I updated my bio and photos & if anything tried to make them more boundary proof, and giving off a no messing vibe but keeping my status as looking for a relationship.

Chats have been quicker and more to the point, dates suggested by me or others very quickly. Now just in a holding pattern til I get better.

I also think there's a word of mouth thing with whatever app you use. Brighton through to south London seems a busy place for bumble and that's a good thing as more choice

So Mr Talker has rung twice last night.. left 2 messages.. and three times today and left a voicemail...i didn't pick up... so he then tried calling on a private number!! Eeeek

@Dropdeadfred2

So Mr Talker has rung twice last night.. left 2 messages.. and three times today and left a voicemail...i didn't pick up... so he then tried calling on a private number!! Eeeek

That's not good. A whole field of red flags right there.

BelladiMamma 😘

I think we have similar libidos !
Can you believe I didn’t wank for a year
Shocking

@Thisisworsethananticpated I think lockdown hasn't helped with looking after ourselves. I'm determined to shift the weight I lost last year then put back on since April. I'm going to get back to that happy social me. The one that flirts with my hot gym instructor (he flirts back but sadly it won't go further). The one that aces interviews, the feeling I had being told I was just pipped by someone for what would have been an amazing job wasn't disappointment but pride that I had got to the final two. It's time to take back control and start being the best me.

Well done re bumble
I think there is an art to the apps
And a skill
Which I don’t have !!!!

How to say I want a nice fuck buddy ?

@Thisisworsethananticpated, I think the advice for this in the past has been to try ‘ Fabswingers’ - set out very clearly what you are looking for in terms of connection with someone and as broad or narrow a description of what your preferences are sexually. You will get tons of messages so just be super selective about who you respond to. There have been lots of positive experiences shared on here but the main advice is always keep your boundaries high and obviously meet prior to any sexual contact.

Hi everyone,

Glad to read of all the excellent dates going on lately 😘

Nothing much going on here. I've mostly been working on college stuff and reading. Things with my ex iron are going well, I think. He's still in isolation, but he's got a few days until he's free again, thankfully. His sister is isolating as well, so at least he's not all on his own.

I still fancy him like mad, and I think he still feels the same about me.

I suppose I'll have to give him a name now. I'll call him Mr Gambit ❤️

@Dropdeadfred2

So Mr Talker has rung twice last night.. left 2 messages.. and three times today and left a voicemail...i didn't pick up... so he then tried calling on a private number!! Eeeek

🚩😊

@Dropdeadfred2

So Mr Talker has rung twice last night.. left 2 messages.. and three times today and left a voicemail...i didn't pick up... so he then tried calling on a private number!! Eeeek

🚩😳

So i have another iron. He's in my town which tbh i find a little scary.. we might be being for a coffee tomorrow. I'll call him Mr Dad as he talks about his little girl alot ( which is nice)

I've just matched with someone who said he only occasionally works out. Looking at his pictures I think he is telling a little fib, something tells me he works out more than just occasionally. You don't get biceps or abs like that from working out occasionally and best thing is he looks like he doesn't skip leg day!😆

@Isitreallyme177

I've just matched with someone who said he only occasionally works out. Looking at his pictures I think he is telling a little fib, something tells me he works out more than just occasionally. You don't get biceps or abs like that from working out occasionally and best thing is he looks like he doesn't skip leg day!😆

Ooooh nice!!!