Dating thread 210 - thwarted hearts, fresh starts

[Shayelle2009]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Sorry to hear so many threadies are feeling a bit down this eve

@Shayelle2009 please can I also join the man hunt? Haven't done one for a few years but I'm sure it's one of those things that where you never forget how? 🤣

Unfortunately my limited child free time and working in a female dominated profession means the chances of me meeting someone IRL is slim to none, so I'm trying to make friends with the idea of OLD.

However...it is definitely not as much fun as I thought it was going to be. I've snoozed my Bumble profile for now as I just need a mental break from it. Massive respect to those of you who've been doing this for a while. You must be made of titanium!

Just got 3 messages from MrIrish. Definite not the enthusiasm of the last few days but 'we should meet' 'sorry I've been busy at work' 'got my new tech stuff delivered today'.

🤦🏻‍♀️

Men. They are soooo much worse than women 😂

For example I got a lovely voice note from MissOxford today saying that she was feeling friendship vibes and was that ok? Yes it is! And brownie points for being honest!

It gets to something when instead if swiping on hot men to chat to, I'm swiping on laundry baskets so I can get rid of the plastic thing that has lasted 18 years (longer than my last relationship) and shows no sign of breaking.

@BelladiMamma

Bugger all from MrIrish

He did this last time we organised a date. I'm beginning to think he's got some personal life challenges which have made him say twice that he is worried about whether or not I'll like him

I just can't deal with the uncertainty and if he doesn't confirm this date I am going to block him as

1. The uncertainty is crap for me
2. Doesn't respect or value my time
3. Shows commitment phobia

Right @WeWantTheFinestWines and @Shayelle2009 what we doing this weekend 😂😂😂

@BelladiMamma I think you've been super patient with Mr Irish, but for me the negatives would be starting to outweigh the positives.

His worrying about whether you will like him or not...he's not acting in a very likeable way tbh. Almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy?

The problem with men like this is they consume a lot of time and energy but you get very little back.

There seem to be a lot of men like this on Bumble. Mr Catlover and Mr Netflix both voiced confidence issues during our very first text exchange and then both disappeared!

@Isitreallyme177

It gets to something when instead if swiping on hot men to chat to, I'm swiping on laundry baskets so I can get rid of the plastic thing that has lasted 18 years (longer than my last relationship) and shows no sign of breaking.

😂😂😂

@Languidleopard I'm beginning to feel the same and honestly, that bumble seems to the safe space for the flakes because of its 'women in the driving seat' brand.

What's tinder like? I've never dared ...

To be fair, Bumble gave me MrItaly and the only reason we've not got together is that our child free time doesn't match

Whoop whoop for night out @Shayelle2009

Personally definitely feeling a lot happier about switching to speed dating next

Even if no matches are had, at least the fact that the guys have dressed up and we’ve all gone out and shown our social skills, had a human ftf interaction rather than weeks of textual intercourse followed by flaking seems attractive!

A company called “slow dating” seems the best option so far for anyone who missed my previous post? Testimonials seem good.

@SpringlikeBunk

Whoop whoop for night out *@Shayelle2009*

Personally definitely feeling a lot happier about switching to speed dating next

Even if no matches are had, at least the fact that the guys have dressed up and we’ve all gone out and shown our social skills, had a human ftf interaction rather than weeks of textual intercourse followed by flaking seems attractive!

A company called “slow dating” seems the best option so far for anyone who missed my previous post? Testimonials seem good.

Am definitely going to follow up on your recommendation

Have unsnoozed my profile and 3 chats on the go. One promising

Of course @BelladiMamma me and my mate are going out in Brighton, probably a bit of a pub crawl, and anyone else wanting to come along is welcome 😂
My pal is a bit older than me, also been on the apps ages, hates them too and having zero luck.
Sorry to everyone who’s feeling down about things 💗💗💗

Cant wait to get the gladrags and slap out and get out there and be raucous 🤣🤣🥳🥳

Yeh Idk about you @BelladiMamma but I with lockdown and apps and my long distance charming sailor romances, too much of my dating world has been “virtual”/in my overthinking ASD head!

will be good for my MH to just bring it back to the physical situation! No expectations, just treat it as a “dress up and go out” thing.

I was tempted to book for next month but might wait till I’m settled in a bit more.

My friend wants to try speed dating but I'm not sure I have the confidence for it, it takes me a while to warm up my confidence with strangers. Definitely longer than 4 minutes.

@Shayelle2009

Of course *@BelladiMamma* me and my mate are going out in Brighton, probably a bit of a pub crawl, and anyone else wanting to come along is welcome 😂 My pal is a bit older than me, also been on the apps ages, hates them too and having zero luck. Sorry to everyone who’s feeling down about things 💗💗💗

Right. Brilliant. 😂😂😂😂

No seriously I won't crash your night out but when I feel like I have my va va voom back definitely up for it

I'm supposed to be meeting MrIrish in Brighton on Friday ...

@SpringlikeBunk ‘long distance charming sailor romances’ haha 🤣🤣

@BelladiMamma of course thats cool if things change just give me a shout 😄 🍸

That will be fun re mr Irish! Is it date zero or further?

@Shayelle2009

It's actually genuinely suited me as I knew I myself was moving too?

But now I'm thinking I just want to have someone to go to the cinema regularly with and have a cuddle and a film and quick missionary sex with on a Friday night.

I deleted bumble today and have no apps.. please can I ask you all when I’m having a boredom wobble to remind me to definitely NOT reinstall them 😒

I think I've been quite ambivalent myself and drawn to other ambivalent situations (and we all know the apps are crammed of those types!). But I want more certainty - not being married tomorrow but something more regular

Haha @SpringlikeBunk youre too funny 🤣🤣
But yeah… some company would be nice wouldn't it!!!

@Shayelle2009

That will be fun re mr Irish! Is it date zero or further?

Zero. Or minus zero if it unhappens itself

[quote SpringlikeBunk]@Shayelle2009

It's actually genuinely suited me as I knew I myself was moving too?

But now I'm thinking I just want to have someone to go to the cinema regularly with and have a cuddle and a film and quick missionary sex with on a Friday night.[/quote]
😂😂😂😂
I just want someone to drive me to all my hospital appointments

Yes @Shayelle2009 I think apps now give one such a mental view of dating ! So it's tempting to just go on a complete "I'm single " episode of life .

But I really don't want to completely detach and declare myself on a man break - so going to do little things to keep my hand in . I've definitely learned a bit more about myself dating over the last couple of years and have a clearer idea of what I want and what makes me comfortable

New Thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4332616-Dating-Thread-211-heading-into-to-Autumn-fueled-by-possibilities?watched=1

I want a man but don't want to use the apps, just have to keep my eye out at the gym. Now I'm likely to be going back to the office soon, I'll have to go to the gym in the evening so maybe that's when all the nice men go.