Dating thread 210 - thwarted hearts, fresh starts

[Shayelle2009]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I've been really trying today to be pro active on the apps and not mope about over my old iron- it's been a while now and I 'should' be over it.

Had a couple of chats....usual story- they say I'm nice but too far away 😐

@bangheadhere40 I found after Computer Geek I was making bad decisions and chatting with the wrong type of men(Mr Racing was one). Also I don't think there is a specific time limit to get over someone, I should be over Computer Geek and I mostly am but there are days when I miss his messages and hope that I bump into him in the paint aisle of B&Q . We had bizarrely the same gym workout schedule, leg day was Tuesday, he did football on a Wednesday and I did boxing and we used to catch up afterwards and I miss that. I miss having someone who was genuinely interested to talk to about the gym.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards thank you. Glad you had a good time yesterday.

I know...my iron was the most interesting/ funny out of all of them, never got bored talking to him. It's really hard isn't it, when you know you should be over it!

Having a swipe and getting sick of men saying " don't know why my profile says 40 when I'm 50" etc.....maybe because you deliberately but a year of birth in that made you 10 years younger! 😡

I've deleted everything to do with BeardFlake but I've kept his first messages from bumble which were so sweet 😞... 4 months ago!!

@bangheadhere40

I know...my iron was the most interesting/ funny out of all of them, never got bored talking to him. It's really hard isn't it, when you know you should be over it!

Having a swipe and getting sick of men saying " don't know why my profile says 40 when I'm 50" etc.....maybe because you deliberately but a year of birth in that made you 10 years younger! 😡

I had a bumble mishap which I couldn't correct so I'm inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt ...

@bangheadhere40 Oh definitely, I think Computer Geek and I were so similar and I haven't had that with any of the others even Mr Cricket. I still smile thinking back to when he was sat in front of me and told me what his kids were called, one has the same name as me, one the same name as my cat and one the same name as the neighbours cat. You really couldn't make it up😂.

The ones that do that really annoy me, and they nearly always look in their 50s.

So...im off online dating because a guy i really really like but didn't think would work is still around. He's gorgeous and funny and he stayed at mine a fortnight ago and if also coming back this weekend. 😍 i was convinced that he wouldn't actually ever come and visit me and took to OLD to try and get over that. But he has and he is. And I'm ridiculously happy.

@Dropdeadfred2

So...im off online dating because a guy i really really like but didn't think would work is still around. He's gorgeous and funny and he stayed at mine a fortnight ago and if also coming back this weekend. 😍 i was convinced that he wouldn't actually ever come and visit me and took to OLD to try and get over that. But he has and he is. And I'm ridiculously happy.

Yay 😀

Sprinkle some of that dating fairy 🧚‍♀️ dust our way 💖

Dont worry @bangheadhere40 I still think about my 3 month wonder pretty much every day and that ended in March 2020 😟

Thanks shayelle I last saw mine October 2020 but last contact 3 months ago now.

I wish we could just erase them from our minds! X

@Shayelle2009

Dont worry *@bangheadhere40* I still think about my 3 month wonder pretty much every day and that ended in March 2020 😟

Oh crikey 🤦🏻‍♀️ poor you. It's so hard isn't it. I do seem to bounce back but ... ugh ... it's hard.

A girlfriend jokingly messaged me to say that my Instagram has become so 'hot' I need to do an only fans account. I think I'm just giving out massive 'I'm single put me out of my misery' vibes 😂😂😂 on social media.

I wasn't even really aware of it 🤦🏻‍♀️ so embarrassing 😂

Haha no go for it @BelladiMamma! If you feel great and confident, show it! Why the fk not!! 🥰🥰

@bangheadhere40 it’s only because I've not met anyone I like since. I 100% know he’d disappear out of my head if I did.

Just arranged to go on a ‘man hunt drinks’ in a pub on a Friday afternoon in a few weeks time. 🤣🤣

Me too, if I met someone I liked I'd forget him I reckon. Hopefully we will soon, I'm 40 now and find myself getting fussier and fussier 😄

@Shayelle2009

Just arranged to go on a ‘man hunt drinks’ in a pub on a Friday afternoon in a few weeks time. 🤣🤣

Can I come! Can I come! 😂😂😂

@Shayelle2009

Haha no go for it *@BelladiMamma*! If you feel great and confident, show it! Why the fk not!! 🥰🥰

@bangheadhere40 it’s only because I've not met anyone I like since. I 100% know he’d disappear out of my head if I did.

I'm now tying myself up in knots as to whether or not my whole 'lifestyle' is putting my favourite type of dishevelled beta male or female off?

Can't deal with the second guessing that BeardFlake and the rest have prompted

Sprinkle sprinkle

I think as we get older we aren't willing to compromise, I know it's sounds corny but the next man I want to date I want to spend the rest of my life with so he has to be just right. I also don't do short relationships and find dating a pain. Maybe that's why I'm having no luck.

This is also the longest I've been single. Jeez I've been single for over 3 years🙄😫.

Same! Not looking for a fling but someone forever. We should be fussy I suppose 🙂

Seems we're all feeling a bit morose this evening and I'll join :( saw Mr runner again but he's really a mess and not in a good place. I've suggested he thinks about whether he really has the emotional energy to start something and I think the answer might have to be no :(

But... This is the 3rd intense liaison in as many months so I think I need to reflect on why that is. It's partly the apps but it's also like a drug to me I think and not necessarily a positive one...

Sorry that so many of us are feeling down...
If it helps i had days of no contact from the guy i like ...i thought it was dead in the water... but he had just been busy at work.
We can all convince ourselves that things are negative when they are not. Have a nice glass of whatever makes you feel better !!

I'm feeling rubbish too it is always the same old crap.

Should I bother sending Mr Penpal a happy birthday this week?

I think I'll join you on the misery bench. Six months ago, I had three single fun friends but found it difficult to catch up with them as I was living in the family home and having to juggle my time. Then I was finally in a place where I had every other week to myself - yay, lots of fun, socialising, pubby man hunts, whatever.... And not one, not two, but all three of them have found new partners online! They're all happy and loved up and weirdly not up for pubby manhunts any more... And they're all lovely and I'm so pleased for them - but also feel like the abandoned, unlovable, Norma No Mates with nobody to play with when I'm child free. I'd love to do some speed or slow or copper dating, or whatever involves real flesh and blood people, but I'm in a small town and there's no hope of those existing here.

My DC are now in their teens, I'm 55 and I find myself fearing being on my own a few years down the line. Which is why I've paused the apps - Desperation City is never a good place to start from.

On the upside, I'm finally able to fly to my home country to spend time with family and friends I haven't seen for years. So there's that.

Bugger all from MrIrish

He did this last time we organised a date. I'm beginning to think he's got some personal life challenges which have made him say twice that he is worried about whether or not I'll like him

I just can't deal with the uncertainty and if he doesn't confirm this date I am going to block him as

1. The uncertainty is crap for me
2. Doesn't respect or value my time
3. Shows commitment phobia

Right @WeWantTheFinestWines and @Shayelle2009 what we doing this weekend 😂😂😂

I've now unsnoozed my bumble profile as waiting on another flake is just pointless