Dating thread 209: Summer of Love 2021

[BelladiMamma]

I've put a screenshot of the RULES here

Dear newbies and oldies they're excellent words of wisdom and deserve to be read frequently

Here's to all of us navigating the sea of twats, the tsunami of penpals and the ever receding tide of ghosters

Let's kick them into touch and have a summer of love ❤️

@BelladiMamma omg, how do you do it?! I can't even get them to message. Do you initiate? Have fun though

@Naimee87 yes they're under 10 so quite a time filler! And the eldest is asd too, hence the not always positive comment. I really missed them this week then was shouting at him within hours...

Had a great evening getting slightly pissed with a good friend whilst our kids played. She even did some swiping for me still no messages from my matches. Seriously, there has to be a better way?!

@Isitreallyme177 Mr Blue Eyes said he wanted to be friends too, I pointed out that my friends give a shit! I think it can be a cop out response if they're not feeling it... Hope you're okay

@Dropdeadfred2 - Why was it a bit weird? He must have liked you if you kissed!
@BelladiMamma - Go you! Sorry for being thick, you're dating males and females? That certainly must open the dating pool up?

@ActonSquirrel

I've spoken to Mr Penpal

He's really struggling at the moment. Right. OK

Oh god it's hard when they're bad. I know these guys can be very attractive because they're unavailable... and I have my struggles with them. But, understand that he can probably never give you what you want.

Do you have anything in your life that can help you to reset and focus on something else?

Also giving so much to him must be tiring. Make sure you recharge ♥️ as at the end of the day, if you want to be a support to him you have to look after yourself

@Isitreallyme177 💗💗

This thread is so lovely and supportive 💛

Do you have anything in your life that can help you to reset and focus on something else?

@BelladiMamma

Gosh loads. Have been living life well since lockdown release.

Time with friends, doing loads of activities such as days out, theatre, etc.

My work is going well

I'm not waiting around moping.

[quote Misty9]@BelladiMamma omg, how do you do it?! I can't even get them to message. Do you initiate? Have fun though

@Naimee87 yes they're under 10 so quite a time filler! And the eldest is asd too, hence the not always positive comment. I really missed them this week then was shouting at him within hours...

Had a great evening getting slightly pissed with a good friend whilst our kids played. She even did some swiping for me still no messages from my matches. Seriously, there has to be a better way?!

@Isitreallyme177 Mr Blue Eyes said he wanted to be friends too, I pointed out that my friends give a shit! I think it can be a cop out response if they're not feeling it... Hope you're okay[/quote]
I initiate almost all of the time and if there's a connection / no wierdness I say something along the lines of 'this app is great for matching but it would be great to have a phone chat or a coffee ☕️ sometime soon'

Then you know whether it's for real or not and going somewhere

I don't do sleazy talk or cleavage shots either!! I'm very 'take me or leave me and I'm only here because you seem interesting' without being rude in terms of my comms

And thank you @BelladiMamma

I do need to recharge ❤

He is the type to retreat when miserable so doesn't drop it all on me rather goes quiet

[quote FireandBrimstone]@Languidleopard Ughh. That sounds awkward and stressful. I can appreciate why you're not feeling it.
Do you have an IRL arrangement set up? I wonder whether he is just one of these people who is better in real life?
Sweeping generalisation klaxon 📢 but accountants aren't renowned for their party animal extrovert personalities and perhaps the phone environment just means he's falling into more of a professional mode than a personal one.
Appreciate that equally you could find you're doing all the legwork in a real life meeting too, but it's easier to get the non verbal cues in person and you did see something of a spark about his profile and the chat to date. Could it be worth a coffee before writing it off? [/quote]
@FireandBrimstone yes, I'm still undecided but I probably should give him a chance.

He's not my usual type but given my track history, that's not a bad thing as it's not exactly been a rip roaring success so far.

I just don't want to get his hopes up as he seems like a decent bloke 😕

@ActonSquirrel

Do you have anything in your life that can help you to reset and focus on something else?

@BelladiMamma

Gosh loads. Have been living life well since lockdown release.

Time with friends, doing loads of activities such as days out, theatre, etc.

My work is going well

I'm not waiting around moping.

Go go go

You're probably way stronger and way more tolerant than you realise xxx

@ActonSquirrel

And thank you *@BelladiMamma*

I do need to recharge ❤

He is the type to retreat when miserable so doesn't drop it all on me rather goes quiet

That's also good

Don't compromise on your life or your health ♥️♥️♥️

@VanGoghsDog

* Has anyone on here had a kind of stilted conversation about career prospects on the phone with an iron which has translated into a good date zero IRL? Nope, I thought not. I might swerve this one.*

Yes, but I'm in HR so I'm probably the boring one getting dumped and accused of not flirting!

@VanGoghsDog Yes, I see what you mean. it's possible he just slipped into work mode. He was also very nervous.

My job is very communication focused so chatting away to random strangers is second nature with me, and I forget it's not like that for everyone.

@BelladiMamma that's interesting - do you have a standard opening line?

[quote Misty9]@BelladiMamma that's interesting - do you have a standard opening line? [/quote]
yes I do pretty much, and a standard let's move to WhatsApp / phone call message as well

Obviously I am not a complete robot and I do only message people I'm interested in, but I find if I overthink it I get awkward

@Dropdeadfred2

So... Sorry to hear a few of us are feeling blue...

I'm back from my date zero. Was a bit weird...i like him. We kissed at the end. I'm not sure what he thinks. Why do we put ourselves through this??

@Dropdeadfred2 😁 Sounds like it went well..?

Did you fancy him and was it a good kiss?

@Isitreallyme177

My ex said he wanted to be friends too. Being friends with him would have ripped my heart out. He caused a lot of hurt and stress. I was so churned up after he ended things. I couldn't stop crying and was physically sick. I'm so much better for not being friends with him ❤️

@WeWantTheFinestWines

We really are nuts on here... I'm chatting to Mr Ecology - who I haven't even met and am convinced I won't fancy - he mentioned he's planning to visit his brother, who lives in a really interesting country, and I caught myself wondering if I'd be going with him! 🤦‍♀️

Oh my gosh I do this allll time time. I was imagining meeting Mr Italys mum today, (we've had one date), I was almost having out loud imaginary conversations with her, and laughing at my jokes. I get extremely carried away 😳

@Spicymisosoup

Can I just ask how you all how you keep the hope alive? The hope that yes, there is someone out there for you. I mean how many unsuccessful dates need to happen before you decide that okay, maybe I'm meant to be single forever. Each successive unsuccessful date chips away at that hope. No matter how light-hearted I try to approach dating, it still takes something away from me when I have to write off yet another prospect. I'm so tired!

I've been single for such a long time that I actually quite like it now. If I meet someone who enhances my already quite nice life - great. If not - that's OK too.

@Languidleopard yes i do fancy him. He was a good kisser

@BelladiMamma

And just like that I've got 3 date zero's and one date 2 next week.

Fully expecting 2 of them to flake at least. I think that's what the data shows us 😂

2 of them are with women and the comms have been more sparse but more to the point with them. Match, establish common areas of interest, flirt -> get a date in the diary. We'll see how it all pans out.

Your dating stamina is really impressive @Belladimama 😁

I feel like a complete light weight. I've been OLD for just over a month and I've benched myself for a few days already because it's wearing me out!

Any tips for keeping the energy and enthusiasm going?

bBub 🤣🤣🥰

[quote Dropdeadfred2]@Languidleopard yes i do fancy him. He was a good kisser [/quote]
Fabulous! Are you going to ask him for a second date or leave the ball in his court?

@Languidleopard he said he would call tonight but hasn't done so far... let's see. I would like to see him again

Oh he rang

@Dropdeadfred2 woop!