Dating thread 209: Summer of Love 2021

[BelladiMamma]

I've put a screenshot of the RULES here

Dear newbies and oldies they're excellent words of wisdom and deserve to be read frequently

Here's to all of us navigating the sea of twats, the tsunami of penpals and the ever receding tide of ghosters

Let's kick them into touch and have a summer of love ❤️

Wow some people make it easy. An iron sent me a link to some work he'd done which then made it easy to Google him and find out he'd been in trouble with his work association for racist views. Biiii

Another bumble match has just asked me what turns me on. Really? 3 messages in?

Wow! I’m always amazed by people who are so open about their details early on.

I chatted to this lady once on an app once. She was always very chatty but every time I mentioned meeting up she completely ignored the question.

After about three months I called her out. I said I wasn't interested in a virtual relationship. I was interested in meeting real people and having real conversations. I said, "here's my number if you want to meet up that's great, but if you don't take care as I won't be chatting on here anymore"

She WhatsApp me two minutes later with some apology saying yes let's meet.

Long story short. We met. She fancied me but I didn't fancy her.

We could have saved ourselves a lot of time.

@GentlemanJay yes, time could be saved by so many of us

@bangheadhere40 all recently uncoupled people are to be avoided. I've mentioned it before but I'm still in shock that my ex h met a much younger woman in Ibiza and six weeks later they were living together. Quite frankly astonishing.

Thanks for new thread Bella

I’m trying to pin down my latest for a meet over this weekend and he’s all yes really want to meet, am travelling to my family home for a birthday celebration but definitely want to see you too’
It’s Friday and no day or time has been set. Penpal vibes.
I’m going to make my plans for tomorrow and he can work around me if he is bothered.

I also don’t want to waste time if we don’t fancy each other. He is very complimentary about me which freaks me out, because I think you need to see a person in the flesh to see if the chemistry is there. Phone calls and texts don’t cut it.

I found Mr Cricket on Google, he told me what team he played for so he was easy to find and he has been an open book (he also told me the company he works for). I never found CG online and for a freelance website designer you'd think you would (although I think I did find him on Shpock and Pets4Homes🤷‍♀️😅).

I found one of my irons on LinkedIn so I got my friend to download his CV. His ex wife was then easy to find and I was pleased to note I am prettier!

Checking in! ❤️

Thank you for the new thread, @BelladiMamma ❤️

@Shuffleuplove haha I do wonder if Computer Geek is enjoying the pool he bought (he sent me a picture of him in a pool exactly the same).

I've just had a swiping session...so many men with their muddle fingers up at the camera.

Why!?!? Just clarifies you belong in the SOT.

Middle

Morning!
Just checking in.

Really not feeling Mr Train anymore, he's got no conversation or banter....fed up of Hey gorgeous every morning then each time I send a msg he just sends back an emoji....just need to send a brief text saying I'm no longer interested....
Mr Forklift and I have exchanged numbers, hoping to find out more about him tonight when he's not at work....

Happy Friday

Marking my place, will do an update later although I’ve bugger all going on 🤦‍♂️😂

@WeWantTheFinestWines

Checking in. Thanks for the new thread Bella.

I may have a date zero today - very local, we're both off work this week. Barely had time to chat which is just the way I like it. I suggested a coffee, he said great, what time and where. So now I'm all indecisive and can't decide where and when...

Hope it goes well,@WeWantTheFinestWines ❤️

@cravingthelook still loving your updates giving us all hope
@Shayelle2009 well MrLawyer is now all, I'm going to sort something for next week. Yeah right. At least in the last you could get stood up for real; this is virtual!

Having said that, I've got the period from hell today. It's late, it's epic in its proportions and I feel effing awful. So I wouldn't have had much of a hot date with BeardFlake or a very comfortable coffee ☕️ with LawyerFlake

Checking in Thanks for the new thread BelladiMamma.

I've just matched with someone on Bumble, but I'm not sure whether I want to message him or not. He has an interesting bio but I don't think I fancy him. Also have a couple of busy weeks of socialising coming up and work is hectic at the moment...I'm going to have a think about this over the weekend and see how I feel.

I sent a thanks but no thanks message to Mr Deep and got a very friendly and polite message wishing me well for the future.

Good luck to all threadies who have date zeros tonight or over the weekend!

Just checking in

@BelladiMamma - Thank you for the thread.

No news from me really, I'm still talking to MrMud, next date pencilled in for next friday. I thought I would be kind and offer to meet closer to him this time, but I'm regretting that decision as I don't know the town at all and feel a bit weird about meeting him somewhere completely unknown to me. It makes me feel vulnerable, particularly as its an evening date and i'll have to rely on getting a taxi home.

I despair. Had date zero, he was wonderfully tall, very interesting with many different things and jobs and projects and interests - art, design, writing, cooking, DIY, gardening. Physically not a problem but he never stopped talking about himself and all his things and jobs and projects and interests. I've come away knowing more about his mum's doctor than he knows about me. And it's not like I didn't give him material! I mentioned my kids - he could have asked about them. I was born somewhere very unusual, grew up in another country + lived in an exciting global city as a teen. I mentioned those things when he asked me about travelling. Not one follow up question, just stuff about his own travels. He doesn't even know my name! I only have initials in my profile. After a while I thought I'd see what would happen if I stopped engaging and just sat there looking at him. I don't even think he noticed. He may have been nervous or trying to impress, but at his age (mid 50s like me), if you can't talk to girls yet, you will never learn. Argh!

I pretended I had an errand in town so walked the opposite way to where I live and where I think he also lives - and 10 mins later was headed for the lights to cross a busy road and he was there! So instead I crossed the road further up, dodging traffic. I hope he didn't look in that direction cos he would have seen me risking my life to avoid him!

@WeWantTheFinestWines

I despair. Had date zero, he was wonderfully tall, very interesting with many different things and jobs and projects and interests - art, design, writing, cooking, DIY, gardening. Physically not a problem but he never stopped talking about himself and all his things and jobs and projects and interests. I've come away knowing more about his mum's doctor than he knows about me. And it's not like I didn't give him material! I mentioned my kids - he could have asked about them. I was born somewhere very unusual, grew up in another country + lived in an exciting global city as a teen. I mentioned those things when he asked me about travelling. Not one follow up question, just stuff about his own travels. He doesn't even know my name! I only have initials in my profile. After a while I thought I'd see what would happen if I stopped engaging and just sat there looking at him. I don't even think he noticed. He may have been nervous or trying to impress, but at his age (mid 50s like me), if you can't talk to girls yet, you will never learn. Argh!

I pretended I had an errand in town so walked the opposite way to where I live and where I think he also lives - and 10 mins later was headed for the lights to cross a busy road and he was there! So instead I crossed the road further up, dodging traffic. I hope he didn't look in that direction cos he would have seen me risking my life to avoid him!

Oh dear, @WeWantTheFinestWines! He sounds like a right bore ❤️

@WeWantTheFinestWines oh dear! Bullet dodged, although I've noticed quite a few men (40s upwards) just seem to talk about themselves and don't ever seem to think to ask anything about the other person!
Next!

And whoever said about feeling envious of love Island contestants... I use that show to feel better about my age and stage! It's awful! None of them are loved up in my opinion, and the producers are doing a damn good job of destroying what fledgling romances there might be.

I've never watched love Island!

Thanks for the new thread.

Update from me is that I spoke to Mr K last night about how not meeting his family and friends but him having met mine has made me feel.
It involved a lot of tears from me - I'm emotionally unavailable and spent 19 years with an emotionally abusive man (3 years out) and conversations were either not permitted, or I was gaslighted or he would promise to change and didn't - so I avoid deep conversations at all costs.

Some things I mentioned before about the possible reasons for not meeting them were correct (and its not because he isn't 100%committed like my overthinking brain thought) and there just hasn't been the opportunity too (he has his son every weekend so that would be when most couples see friends and family).

He's suggested I meet his mum tomorrow, vaccination permitting, I'm having my 2nd jab tonight so need to see how I feel.

So I'm having some doubts and think Mr Cricket is doing the slow fade(stupid as we are just friends). I know he's been ill, I know he has been revising for his exams/training but I've hardly heard from him this week and he still hasn't read my message from last night. I feel like I'm chasing(I'm not I sent a couple of messages all week to which he replied) and I don't want to feel like that. Maybe I'm over thinking, he has been nothing but honest with me before so why would he do the slow fade now. Maybe because I've been unable to train because of injury and I've got so much time on my hands my mind is starting to over think(the sooner I get back into the gym the better). Maybe my ex is right and we need to actually move up a gear now and stop this pussy footing around as friends. See my head today is all over the place 🤣.

Maybe I should go and get the paint brush out and sort my spare room out to keep myself busy.🤣🤣